Any other guy...

4seasons

4seasons

Well-known member
On here think about having a girlfriend and think it would be to good to be true. Like i feel like i have absolutely no chance in hell meeting a girl, just because you have to talk to them first, why does it have to be like that? I just don't have what it takes to let alone talk to a girl but ask one out. Then, if i somehow magically I get a date, thinking about going on that date is about 10 times the anxiety, theres just no way to go about this.

I'm starting this rant because i tried to talk to a girl at work today(again) and i drew a complete blank(again). I bought something after work and went to her to ring me threw just so i could try, and the only thing i could think of was asking her is someone forgot some book that was next her she said "i dont know, it was here when i got here" and i walked away yet again feeling like a complete jack ass. I just don't have anything interesting to say to start a conversation.

Simply put, I'll be alone for the rest of my life. Sorry to come on here bitching and complaining but I have no one else to talk to, or any other solutions so i might as well vent it out here. If you have any advice i would appreciate it. Thanks for reading.
 
RedRibbons

RedRibbons

Well-known member
Oh dear. I know what you mean about the guy talking to the girl first. I am a girl and I expect them to approach me, if they are interested. Well.. I also expect myself to approach the guy, but that is soooooooooo hard, especially when you don't know if they are seeing anyone or anything.

You could try asking her how her weekend was... Or how she's doing.. What's new... Ya know.. If you get her talking, and she gives you something to go on, it will make it a lot easier. Or complement her, but subtly, nothing like "you're HOT!" lol.. Maybe something more like "did you do something different with your hair? It looks nice." lol That's a little bold, she will probably blush from that. Whatever complement you make, make sure it's an honest and sincere complement. Not just a complement for the sake of a complement. :)
 
gh1234

gh1234

Member
hey man i'm going through the same thing too!
just dont have this problem take over your life... concentrate on maybe.. practicing?? work out more... be more "hot" is the way to go and dont be shy.. practice on what to talk about when u with a girl
 
RedRibbons

RedRibbons

Well-known member
gh1234 said:
hey man i'm going through the same thing too!
just dont have this problem take over your life... concentrate on maybe.. practicing?? work out more... be more "hot" is the way to go and dont be shy.. practice on what to talk about when u with a girl
Click to expand...

work out? be more hot? lololololoooooooooooooooooooooool not all girls are into that... If you want to be more "hot", be more "confident" and more "sincere". Body shape isn't such a big deal, as long as you're generally fit. You don't have to have bulging muscles...
 
dottie

dottie

Well-known member
RedRibbons said:
gh1234 said:
hey man i'm going through the same thing too!
just dont have this problem take over your life... concentrate on maybe.. practicing?? work out more... be more "hot" is the way to go and dont be shy.. practice on what to talk about when u with a girl
Click to expand...

work out? be more hot? lololololoooooooooooooooooooooool not all girls are into that... If you want to be more "hot", be more "confident" and more "sincere". Body shape isn't such a big deal, as long as you're generally fit. You don't have to have bulging muscles...
Click to expand...

lol i agree
 
tommydog

tommydog

Well-known member
Personality is miles ahead of looks for woman. Ofcourse they love it if your handsom and have a good body, but as long as your atleast roughly good looking they'l get over it. Ever wonder how you see these hot babes with these ordinary looking blokes ? Its not always becase thier rich, its because they have attitude and thier confident.
 
gh1234

gh1234

Member
gh1234 wrote:
hey man i'm going through the same thing too!
just dont have this problem take over your life... concentrate on maybe.. practicing?? work out more... be more "hot" is the way to go and dont be shy.. practice on what to talk about when u with a girl


work out? be more hot? lololololoooooooooooooooooooooool not all girls are into that... If you want to be more "hot", be more "confident" and more "sincere". Body shape isn't such a big deal, as long as you're generally fit. You don't have to have bulging muscles...
Click to expand...

Ok what i meant was being hot was a *BONUS*, its not really the true thing to attract a girl... personality and all that stuff is the right thing to have, especially confidence.. just practice
 
4seasons

4seasons

Well-known member
Thanks everyone for your replies.

Redribbon thats actually so simple haha, your right a simple question like "how was your weekend" will spark a conversation, but when im in the moment im so nervous that stuff doesn't come to mind, but i'll kep that in mind for next time. As for complimenting a girl, for some reason I would feel so awkward doing that if i don't know her.

As far as personality goes, a girl(the only girl i ever had a relationship of any kind with) once told me i had the personality of a grape haha so i guess that along with other thing shattered my confidence over time.
 
RedRibbons

RedRibbons

Well-known member
4seasons said:
As far as personality goes, a girl(the only girl i ever had a relationship of any kind with) once told me i had the personality of a grape haha so i guess that along with other thing shattered my confidence over time.
Click to expand...

Wow, that's not cool at all. People can say a lot of mean things when they're not happy with their own lives, or being insensitive and uncaring. A lot of people struggle with confidence.

Anyway grapes have a lot of personality. Why do you think there's so many delicious types of wine? It's all in the grape! :p

Good luck.
 
4seasons

4seasons

Well-known member
Hahaha i know you're joking but trust me, she didn't mean it like that.....anyway, thanks for your advice, good to hear from a female point of view.
 
IWouldPreferNotTo

IWouldPreferNotTo

Well-known member
I know exactly how you feel 4seasons because I'm the same way. I can never find anything to say to a girl I'm attracted to. There is this girl I know at church who I think is cute and she goes out of her way to talk to me and I really want to go out with her, but I never have anything to say when we talk. It sucks.
 
Moonie

Moonie

Well-known member
I think it's admiriable that you have even tried striking up conversation. My heart really does go out to guys with social phobia/shyness.

As far as the book response, "I don't know, it was there when I got here." Sounds exactly like something I would say. It doesn't mean she is not interested. But, maybe she is shy, too?

I have become so used to having guys approach me, that I don't think I will ever be with a shy, reserved guy (and they seem very appealing to me.) There is a quiet guy I find attractive at work, but there is no way that I would approach him. I don't even know if he has a GF or not and I will probably never find out. Ugh, lol.
 
Argamemnon

Argamemnon

Well-known member
Moonie said:
I have become so used to having guys approach me, that I don't think I will ever be with a shy, reserved guy (and they seem very appealing to me.)
Click to expand...
Why, because you can't (or don't want) to approach guys, or because you don't like shy people?
 
theman

theman

Well-known member
4

Hey 4seasons, in honor of your name, I'll give you 4 things to walk up and say:

1. (if she's reading) "What are you reading?" (she answers) "What kind of woman reads a book like that? What is it about that book that interests you?"

2. (She's standing there bored) "Dramatic pose - nice. I've heard it said that 90% of communication is body language. If so, you'd be saying absolutely nothing right now. Could you put a little more feeling into it? What are you thinking right now?!?!?"

3. (she's writing in a notebook) "How's your autobiography coming?" (she says its not her AB) "Well, if it was, what chapter would today be called?? Why?"

4. (she's wearing a lot of one particular color) "This is the (whatever color shirt YOU'RE wearing) section. Didn't you get the memo? What do you think you're doing?"

Don't take it so seriously. Lighten it up, and don't care what she thinks. Screw up your next 1000 opening lines just to try out new things. Its YOUR world. You're a success if you walk up and say ANYTHING. How she responds is immaterial. You're only a failure if you don't approach.
 
tommydog

tommydog

Well-known member
theman ! very good dude :lol:

More !

Jimmy, is that you mate ? :lol:

This guy I know stands around parts of the city at night and asks girls if they want to fuck when they walk by. He gets dirty looks, verbal abuse, his even been slapped around a few times. But, every now and again he gets a yes.

So your right, if you dont take action, you have no chance, even if what you have to say is offensive or stupid. Put your jacket on, and if you can weather the abuse and everyone thinking your a loser, you might have success eventually.
 
4seasons

4seasons

Well-known member
Haha thanks ...thats true, and thats the way i try to think most of the time, but when it comes down to the situation i always pussy out.
 
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