ripewithdecay
Well-known member
Sorry, this might be too long but here is my situation.
Recently, for the past month or so, i've been allowing a family member (brother) to stay at my place, because he doesn't yet have a place of his own. He only comes for the weekends and he's here all the time. I'm getting tired of it though, because I'm used to having my own space and he is very irritating and hyper all of the time, he makes a mess and he hogs the tv or computer until I have to eventually get fed up and speak up and tell him I want the tv for a bit. He's not mean to me in any way but it seems like he pretends like he owns the place and does whatever he pleases, smokes cigarettes all the time (im a non smoker), he yells out my window at people and he's just very loud in general, and it's like I have to keep telling him to stop doing annoying shit all the time, till I sound like a nagging mother.
I never really had a good relationship with him growing up in that he was never around, then when he did come around i was about 18 and he would steal from me all the time to support his addictions. He doesn't do that crap anymore thank god but he's still very jealous of me I think and just seems to act phony towards me, like he talks to me like a kid and just comes up with these sugar-coated compliments out of nowhere. It just all feels so very put on. When I do speak up and explain that it's not going to work and that he should stay with my mom he just sort of laughs at me and says "Ok...but can I stay just one more day?" then he'll be super nice for that one day, and then i'll break and be like "Well if you want you can come hang out next weekend too." and then it's back to being irritating. Anyways..... the only other place he has to go is my mom's place (which is where he was originally supposed to stay) but because she hasn't got cable and her place is much smaller than mine I thought it would be ok for him to stay with me.. i mean what a few days a week right? But I feel like I'm trapped I need my space and i'm getting angrier and angrier every day and feel like I'm going to explode. I feel like my mom has placed this burden on me and i've discussed it with her and she agreed that he should just stay with her from now on.... yet he still comes here every weekend, and now she's not even around so I can't even ask her wtf is going on.
I'm afraid to just speak up and say he's not welcome here anymore.
How can I tell that to a family member and not feel like crap?
At the same time, why does he continue to do this if he knows it's bothering me?
Any honest advice would help a lot..
Am I being a self-centered prick by asking him to leave and stay with my mom even though it won't be as comfortable for him, or am I being a push-over by constantly agreeing to let him stay?
Recently, for the past month or so, i've been allowing a family member (brother) to stay at my place, because he doesn't yet have a place of his own. He only comes for the weekends and he's here all the time. I'm getting tired of it though, because I'm used to having my own space and he is very irritating and hyper all of the time, he makes a mess and he hogs the tv or computer until I have to eventually get fed up and speak up and tell him I want the tv for a bit. He's not mean to me in any way but it seems like he pretends like he owns the place and does whatever he pleases, smokes cigarettes all the time (im a non smoker), he yells out my window at people and he's just very loud in general, and it's like I have to keep telling him to stop doing annoying shit all the time, till I sound like a nagging mother.
I never really had a good relationship with him growing up in that he was never around, then when he did come around i was about 18 and he would steal from me all the time to support his addictions. He doesn't do that crap anymore thank god but he's still very jealous of me I think and just seems to act phony towards me, like he talks to me like a kid and just comes up with these sugar-coated compliments out of nowhere. It just all feels so very put on. When I do speak up and explain that it's not going to work and that he should stay with my mom he just sort of laughs at me and says "Ok...but can I stay just one more day?" then he'll be super nice for that one day, and then i'll break and be like "Well if you want you can come hang out next weekend too." and then it's back to being irritating. Anyways..... the only other place he has to go is my mom's place (which is where he was originally supposed to stay) but because she hasn't got cable and her place is much smaller than mine I thought it would be ok for him to stay with me.. i mean what a few days a week right? But I feel like I'm trapped I need my space and i'm getting angrier and angrier every day and feel like I'm going to explode. I feel like my mom has placed this burden on me and i've discussed it with her and she agreed that he should just stay with her from now on.... yet he still comes here every weekend, and now she's not even around so I can't even ask her wtf is going on.
I'm afraid to just speak up and say he's not welcome here anymore.
How can I tell that to a family member and not feel like crap?
At the same time, why does he continue to do this if he knows it's bothering me?
Any honest advice would help a lot..
Am I being a self-centered prick by asking him to leave and stay with my mom even though it won't be as comfortable for him, or am I being a push-over by constantly agreeing to let him stay?
