Always SA? Earliest memory? Parents?

[Josette]

Another thread got me thinking...when did it start? Was I born this way?

My earliest memory of being SA is actually pre-school (~5 yrs old). It's pretty vague though. I also remember years later reading a letter from my pre-school teacher that my Mom had saved that expressed concern about my shyness.

I feel like I never had a chance to not be shy/SA. Doomed from the start. But something must've made me that way, right? I know both of my parents are anxious people. I think my Mom is SA. My dad...weird...he's incredibly anxious but not socially anxious as far as I can tell. He's definitely not shy or avoidant but he freaks out if he doesn't know what's going on or isn't in control of the situation. For example, he can't sit with his back to a room full of people like in a restaurant; he has to be back to the wall so he can see what's going on. And he also must be kinda OCD because he's always doublechecking that things are locked.

Since I'm the oldest child, I imagine they were struggling to figure it all out with me. What did they know about raising a kid? I feel like I was the trial child before they got it right with my sisters. Not that they're perfect either, but neither of them are shy.

I remember in Kindergarten, my usual chaperone wasn't available for some reason so I was charged with walking alone from the babysitter's house to one of my classmate's house and then we were supposed to walk to school together. I couldn't do it. I couldn't knock on this kid's door. It seems so crazy to me now. What in the world did I think was going to happen?

 

[Sprunk]

I can sympathize with a lot of your post.I have tried to think back to a time when i didn't suffer from SA,and honestly i think it is something that's always been with me.I don't think i was born with it,I put a lot of the blame on how i was bought up.I felt inferior right from an early age.::

 

[Kiwong]

I've alway been shy. My anxiety and panic disorder started 10 years ago. I've beaten the panic attacks.

 

[Phoenixx]

I've always been shy too. When I was little I was only shy around adults though. I loved to be with other kids, play, make friends, etc. My SA started when I was about 12/13.

 

[IGotSeoul]

I've alway been shy. My anxiety and panic disorder started 10 years ago. I've beaten the panic attacks.

Same here, was about 11 years old (nearly 21 now). The anxiety became much more apparent when I reached 13-14 though. Rarely suffer a panic attack, but I'd commonly have 2 a day when I was a child.

 

[sucettes]

I've always been a very shy and quiet girl who enjoys spending time on her own. A bit of a loner. Never really liked people but the panic attacks didn't start until I was 13 years old. Sometimes when I was little I felt very insecure and it led to strange situations. I think my earliest memory is when I was maybe 5. I was going to a birthday party, but my shoes were too big. I was scared that people would laugh at it and I didn't have any other shoes at the time so I just had to wear them. At the party I suddenly lost one shoe as I was walking, that made me feel stupid. I went home and I cried.

C'mon, just because of a shoe? how ridiculous is that!! Can't believe I still remember this....

 

[deadend]

I think there is likely to be a genetic precursor. A predisposition along with temperament and environmental factors probably all contribute to onset.

 

[Shant]

Not for me, I used to be a hyperactive wild child. I was sociable - social skills still sucked, but there was no fear at all. So I'm sure it isn't genetic. My father (ugh) is rather introverted, but it doesn't appear to be out of fear. He's too self-righteous for that. My mother's very extroverted.

Sometime in high school, Social Anxiety began to creep up, and it was a gradual thing. Half-way through, I was more shy than before, and afterwards, I became a bit of a shut-in. Besides college classes and work, I'm still a shut-in. And there's pretty realistic reasons for it.