Oh, so I'm lying now? Okay then: I'm an absolute, ****-slut heroin addict! I sprinkle crack on my cornflakes, which are actually made of crack instead of corn! I give my dad blowjobs for pocket money, how crazy is that! I have 12,500 boyfriends, all of whom I have sex with every day for heroin, lovely, lovely heroin! Ahh, heroin: it's so nice, you know?
There we go. Are you happy with that? Now excuse me, I have to go and shoot up again.
And anyone who is so quick to call sexually active girls sluts is a misogynist. Take it from me, you are. And you know how often I've been clubbing? That's hilarious! Listen love: all you actually know about me is that I can type.
And how many 'dirty secrets' can one shout, may I ask? Surely that undermines the meaning of the term 'secret'.