grapevine
Well-known member
At first he used to ask to kiss me went we would part - but I would get all shy as it was in the day time and usually the morning when my bdd on my face is highest..
But I want to.
There are so many affectionate things I want to do with my bf, im not talking about sexually here- Im talking about expressing my feelings physically.
Why is it so hard? Sure I will hug and get close - but mainly in the night time. Its like, this morning when we parted ways .. we didnt even bother to hug or anything- really- it was my walking off and closed body language I think that did that. Why do I get so, feel a sense of dread everytime I am to leave him because I know there might be some affectionate/intimate goodbye?
I want to be able to just leap in and take full initiative and show my affections- but I think its hard with this bdd (and I havent being doing anything like self care to help it at the moment).
I just think sometimes a part of me doesnt want to because I am not liking myself outside and think he doesnt too. Esp since the past he has hurt my feelings relating to how I look and so its even hard to look at him in the eyes most times too because of that. BDD.
I just messaged him and told him that I wanted to be more affectionate lol. He said it would get easier. But its like - I feel embarassed that its more on my side that Im like this - because in my family we aren't physically affectionate.
But I want to.
There are so many affectionate things I want to do with my bf, im not talking about sexually here- Im talking about expressing my feelings physically.
Why is it so hard? Sure I will hug and get close - but mainly in the night time. Its like, this morning when we parted ways .. we didnt even bother to hug or anything- really- it was my walking off and closed body language I think that did that. Why do I get so, feel a sense of dread everytime I am to leave him because I know there might be some affectionate/intimate goodbye?
I want to be able to just leap in and take full initiative and show my affections- but I think its hard with this bdd (and I havent being doing anything like self care to help it at the moment).
I just think sometimes a part of me doesnt want to because I am not liking myself outside and think he doesnt too. Esp since the past he has hurt my feelings relating to how I look and so its even hard to look at him in the eyes most times too because of that. BDD.
I just messaged him and told him that I wanted to be more affectionate lol. He said it would get easier. But its like - I feel embarassed that its more on my side that Im like this - because in my family we aren't physically affectionate.