Would you rather have loved and lost, than never have loved at all?

slowmotiondaydream

Well-known member
Would you rather have loved and lost, than never have loved at all?

.. i know it's the experienced to have loved and be loved in return. but why go through the pain though when it's over? i've felt misery with no one in my life and have felt the pain of loosing someone i was wholeheartedly in love with as well ..and i can't come to the conclusion to see what hurt more
 
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Well, personally I'd rather ''have loved and lost''. But not for romantic reasons.

I know of myself that pain/suffering can, over time, lead to realizations I wouldn't get to when I were to play it safe all the time.

This case is no different. I'd rather suffer for a while, and gain a little bit more wisdom, then to simply avoid it entirely. Wisdom, little as it may or may not be, can protect you from future similar circumstances/situations. Where ignorance, however blissful, comes down to luck.

I'd rather take the risk. ;3
 

Mokkat

Well-known member
"loved and lost" definitely. As I am now, the only love I have ever experienced has been from my own fantasy during serious crushes. Im now done with crushes and at this point Im pretty much a rational, "reasonable", systematic 24 year old looser with no clear ambition or motivation in life.

I would like to have loved someone, and be loved in return, just once - so that I would know whether to chase love again with a little experience, or call it quits and focus on something else
 

planemo

Well-known member
I had feelings for someone, but I had no idea if it was mutual. (that's the closest I'll come to "having loved and lost"). In all honesty I wish I had never cared for her at all, or even seen her or heard a word she spoke. Knowing I cannot be with her or with anyone for that matter, hurts me to no end. So to me I had lost, as my feelings went to waste. I would give up having any feelings for anyone, knowing how much pain I will have to go through, coz nothing will come of it.
 

3lefts

Well-known member
The thing is. I'd rather have it, even if for only a moment. That is what I live for, an experience greater than what I now know.
 

JamesSmith

Well-known member
I don't think it's possible for me to answer this question because I don't know if I believe in love or not, because I've never been in love if it does exist.
 

Chriiss

Well-known member
I'd rather have never loved at all.

I don't know what love feels like but if it means pain at the end of the relationship I would never cope with it.
 
I don't know... I've never loved (may have come close), but I think it's because I have a fear (or a subconscious feeling) that I wouldn't be able to handle the loss if/when it came.
 

Seasons

Well-known member
Well... I know what it is to love someone and I know what it is to have someone loving me. But I have yet to experience loving someone that loves me back.
So between non-reciprocal love and no love at all, definitely no love at all.

Between the real thing and nothing I am not sure. I can only imagine how painful it must be to lose someone you love, but I really want to experience mutual love someday even knowing that if/when it would go wrong it will hurt like hell...
But I figure, I already know pain, it should be nice to get to know the other face of the coin for a change :rolleyes:.
 
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Deardiary

Active member
Ah... love. Part of what makes it so special is knowing it is whimsical... that it can disappear at any moment. Would a snowflake be as precious if it were made of plastic and we knew it couldn't melt away?

So yes, it's better to have loved and lost. Because what makes it love is that the other one can always leave. And it's also why marriage sucks (just kidding!).
 
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userremoved

Guest
Loved and lost. If you're gonna be miserable alone then you might as well enjoy a little love and happiness even if it does come to an end. However you have to go into it with the hope that it's not going to end miserably or there's not point in even trying.
 
I was thinking about this the other day. I fell for a girl who also fell for me and it was the most amazing feeling ever! Even though she's moved on and I still miss her, I'm glad I was with her for the amount of time I was.
 
I would rather love and lose that love... I'm extremely picky about the character of someone I would love... So if even one such person exist and I meet her (and she loves me in turn.. or even not), I'd count myself lucky.

And what phocas says.
 

slowmotiondaydream

Well-known member
Im pretty much a rational, "reasonable", systematic 24 year old looser with no clear ambition or motivation in life.

you me both. right now i would say i'd rather not have loved as all. being loved once gives me the realisation that in order live a happy life is to find love. engraved in my mind is that fact that i will never ever be happy until i find it.. which means i'm now depended on it till i die! ARGH!
 
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