Would you forgive bullies years later

Honda

Well-known member
A bully i knew and everyone used to hate, got run over by a bus driver years ago.. They couldn't recognize his body after.. I wouldn't wish that for anyone but nobody cared when they heard the news about him and some people said he deserved it.. The story was about the fact he pulled a bus over to fight with the driver, apparently for not liking the bus driver's driving style on the road; he provoked the bus driver so the driver jumped into his bus and ran him over several times.. They found and arrested the bus driver a few days later for murder.. If you ask me, yes i felt bad yet i was wondering at the same time why should i? People that weren't bullied by him used to hate him for his anal behavior..
 
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coyote

Well-known member
If we continue to label ourselves as victims of the bullies then that's where we'll stay

That act will continue to give the bullies power over our lives

Is that what we want?

Forgiveness does not mean forgetting what happened or absolving anyone of guilt

It simply means putting the past to rest and moving forward

It's not about them - it's about us

If we hold onto the pain it will always be there - they will always be there

We continue to guard ourselves against every perceived threat - no matter how irrational - just in case - and so we feel anxious and fearful

Maybe if we let go of the past and put it to rest the pain would go away

Maybe we would free ourselves from the bullies still lingering in our mind

Maybe we could let down our guard

and free ourselves from the fear, once and for all.
 
Not sure if I could forgive them. I mean basically, they're the cause for all this suffering, so **** them. But I'm sure the right thing to do is to forgive them, but I just cant bring myself to do it while I'm stuck living in the mess that they created. Seriously, If I saw one of them today and had a chance to think about what to do, I'd probably beat their face in.... would probably make me feel good temporarily and later I'd start to cry probably.

I suppose it's not really their fault that they were like that... it's just the way the world is - I have been an ******* to many people as well... and if they wanted to beat me up for it for every single time that it happened, I'd be a pretty beaten up dude (I would say dead, but I'm not really an *******, so no :p)
 

Forgotten-Children

Well-known member
They would REALLY have to be sorry to me because of all the crap I went through ever since starting school. Otherwise, I wish I'd never see 'em again. Their bullying is half the reason I don't trust people unless they're online, I think.
 

vichyssoise

Active member
Sure, whatever. I don't care. They have probably matured and don't do that stuff anymore. I couldn't be friends with them (nor do I want to), but life goes on. None of them have asked me for forgiveness though.
 

desperatehousewife

Well-known member
No, I am sorry bur I can not forgive, because I suffer from SA because of them and I will suffer from it until the rest of my life.
Who is responsible for that????????
 

byar

Member
I never really got bullied as I was taught to always stand up for myself.I was alienated and laughed at from other kids though because of.. my poverty I guess would be the right word.

I would forgive people if they were sorry,I think it's important to try and leave thing's in the past,we were different people then and we owe it to ourselves to move on.Though you can;t forgive someone if they refuse to believe they did anything wrong.

English is not my first language and I don't really understand the difference between ridicule and bullying. Can somebody explain it to me?
I

It simply means putting the past to rest and moving forward

It's not about them - it's about us

If we hold onto the pain it will always be there - they will always be there
I was bullied when I was 11 and 12 years of age because of my ethnic background. I can't say that I still hold grudge against those dumb kids. I know that I am better than all of them together and separate in many ways and my life is 100% better even though I have SA. One person I can't forgive is my narcissistic mother. She could have done something about it but she cared only about herself. Also, she kept torturing me almost as bad as those classmates. Basically, she didn't love me, didn't support me. No wonder those little pricks were attacking me - it was written on my face that I was alone in this world. She left me with my deaf and blind great grandmother when I was 6 years old for the whole year. All my life she was jealous of me. Even now when I see her only once in 4 years out of pity she manages to drive me into deep depression. As a child and teenager I forgave her hundred times, hundred times I found excuses for her behavior but I can't do it anymore. I realize now that she has always been a huge part of my problem. I need that hate to completely remove her out of my life.
 
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Honda

Well-known member
The thing is even among your good friends you need, to some extent, exercise some power and control so no wonder how strangers would be if they find that there's not limit to their behavior with you..
Even with parents, I mean my father's family of brothers, sisters and mother were *******s and they used to outcast him and treat him like rubbish, he still feels bad about the past... Sometimes i wished he dared to give them the middle finger and ran away from home and started a fresh life..
Forgiving people i dont think this is likely unless they realize and accept their mistakes but I'd never win their trust ever..
 

aien89

Well-known member
I'm sure everyone in here can say they've done some things as a child which they regret now. People change with time and it's part of life and nature.

So I would definitely forgive. My brother was a fat bully as a child and now one of his best friends is the one he bullied the most. People change with age and as a child you don't really think that much about consequences.

When I was 17 or 18, I saw everyone as enemies and I was very upfront and hostile with people because of things that happened when we were kids. But suddenly I just though "Hey, I did some pretty stupid stuff as well", and I forgave them and we all started over.
People should not be paying for what they did as kids.
 

missjesss

Banned
The main guy who started my whole leg phobia said sorry after seeing a photoshoot of me I said yeah it's fine but deep down I still hated him and I wudnt forgive the girls who gave me **** either I can forget it but why shud I forgive them they r not worthy of my forgiveness
 
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