Worst night of my life

Tab

Well-known member
This will be a long post so be warned now. It started off as a typical night. My cousin (call him Fred) wanted me to come to a restaurant with him and his gf. Of course I wasn't sure at first but he finally convinced me to go. So we picked up his gf (call her Jackie) and she didn't look very happy and I thought well its because I'm here isn't it. But dinner went well and after that we were going to my other cousin's (call him Greg) gf's (call her April) brother's football game. So me Fred, Greg, and Jackie left at half time and went back to April's house. We were supposed to all meet their after anyway and get drunk. Anyway when we got back the 4 of us smoked a joint and I felt really really good. I'm on meds and smoking weed made it that much better. Anyway, when April finally came home she brought her damn friend with her. Both of them looked pissed off at something. Anyway the 4 of us went outside for a smoke and I brought something up that happened 3 weeks ago. We all went bowling except for Fred's gf and he never told her. She got mad at that and went inside and locked the three of us out side. Finally when we got back in the three girls started saying stuff about how we always lie and how we cover up for each other. Then they twisted it and made me the centre of it all. They said they like to have their own time and I never give it to them cuz I'm always there. Turns out Jackie was mad when we picked her up cuz I was there and April was mad cuz Greg left with us. All three girls went at me like I'm some sort of leech and always need to be with them and never leave them alone. I felt so bad. I felt like crying. I left the room and watched tv in the basement by myself for a better part of the night.

Heres what really bothered me: Almost every time they ask me to do something which involves going some where I ask them if they really care if I come. I'll even text them at random times during the week if they want me to come over that night. They always say ya they don't mind and never act like me being there bothers them. I try and give them space but then they question why I didn't want to go or why I wasn't over.

I honestly don't think I did anything wrong. And then they go and do this to me. I don't really have any other friends to hang out with and I'm always on the look out for things I might do to get them mad at me.

I've decided I'm not seeing them for a long time now. I don't want to talk to them, I don't even want to see them. Everything is always my fault and I'm the one who always has to go and try and fix it. No one else even bothers to fix things if I don't do all the work. I don't know where I went wrong or what to do next, so I'm just going to do what I think is best and not talk tot hem for a bit. :cry: :?
 

Richey

Well-known member
don't take this the wrong way but this is a dillemma i'd be happy with having right now, you have a group of friends and that is a great thing and all it may take to smooth this over is for you to sit down with them and talk through it that you're unhappy they singled you out, you seem like a very social person by the way you write by the way, talking about smoking weed and drinking together that is a good thing ...

my night last night: friday night, walked to the local night spot area alone, restaurants, outdoor cafes, its a busy area felt complete paranoia for the entire time then i bought myself a coffee and sat down but realised i probably stood out like a giraffe at a panda bears only club and walked home ...

it wasn't me giving up, i just observed all the action around me being groups of friends looking a million dollars having a bang-up time and felt really out of place, sort of twiddling my thumbs thinking what i should be doing, felt too forced, walked away, i really needed someone there with me to pass the time or a book
 

noblame4

Well-known member
That's a horrible story, Tab! What a nightmare!

Sounds like your cousins have a taste for spoiled maniacal bitches.
Really, I dont think you did anything wrong at all. Some girls are very needy and insecure and want to monopolize their boyfreinds. God forbid your cousins want to hang out with you. Girls are also prone to 'ganging up' on people and to me it sounds like they took their combined frustrations with their boyfriends not spending enouph time with them and unloaded it on you, the innocent bystander, because if they yelled at their boyfriends they run the risk of getting in a fight and then getting dumped. You're not a hanger-on if the guys invite you, right?

To hell with those girls. I'm a girl, and I can tell you that A LOT of us are passive/agressive emotional landmines. Not your problem. (Hell, one time a couple of years ago, the freind of a friend of mine had a fight with her boyfreind over the phone and started sobbing. I felt bad and went to pat her on the back and the bitch shoved me down!)


So yea, stay away from them. Unreasonable mean people arent worth hanging out with.

And look on the bright side, You just went through literally EVERY SAD PERSON'S WORST NIGHTMARE and your still alive! If you can take that, you can take anything.
 

Nikki_18

Member
It sounds like your cousins should have stuck up for you a bit more, your family should come first before anything. These girls sound like complete bitches concerning what you've said and I think you could do a lot better than to hang around people like that. I know how you feel though, I had a best friend who was like that, it hurt me a lot and completely shattered my confidence because I kept worrying that I'd say something wrong to rub her up the wrong way. But whenever me or my other best friend tried to talk to her about it, she was always right and made herself the victim. It made me feel really low, I don't cope with people talking about me behind my back as well as everyone else so when I found out she was doing this, it felt as though my whole world shattered because I would've trusted this person with my life. It made me think "If my best friend thought those things about me, what are complete strangers going to think of me?" and since then I've not been able to gain back the confidence I was building, it's always in the back of my mind "what if people are judging me by what I say?" and it scares me a lot. I really sympathise with your situation.

Luckily for me, I had people to fall back on, I think you should try and talk to them about it first, if they act like you're to blame still, you shouldn't bother with them, I know they're your only friends but you don't need people like that in your life, they'll only drag you down and make you feel miserable about things that aren't your fault, it took me 3 years to learn this unfortunately :S I think you should concentrate on you, help yourself grow as a person, you sound like a pretty good and sociable person to me, I'm sure you could make friends easily with the right confidence - I can give advice but I'm crummy at helping myself haha! :]
 

Dave_McFadden

Well-known member
noblame4 said:
...it sounds like they took their combined frustrations with their boyfriends not spending enouph time with them and unloaded it on you, the innocent bystander, because if they yelled at their boyfriends they run the risk of getting in a fight and then getting dumped.
.

Yes.

Nikki_18 said:
It sounds like your cousins should have stuck up for you a bit more, your family should come first before anything.

They should have manned up and stood up for you, but they blew it. They're probably afraid of their girlfriends.

Tab said:
They said they like to have their own time and I never give it to them cuz I'm always there.

Well they're always inviting you out, right? If they don't want you hanging out with them, they shouldn't ask. It's not your "duty" to turn them down, and there's no reason to blame you for saying yes. Especially if they keep bugging you until you finally give in and go. If your cousins aren't spending enough alone time with their gf's that ain't your problem. That's something they need to straighten out between themselves, you're not responsible for planning their time.

You should print out a copy of your post and keep it with your phone, so that the next time they start bugging you to go out with them you can bring up the incident to remind them what they said the last time they asked you to hang out.
 

Tab

Well-known member
Well today I don't feel much different about the whole situation. I still don't want to see them for a long time. I know I should try and work things over but they'll just lie to me again and not fix anything. And lol noblame4, those girls really can be unstable a lot of the time and sometimes I'm not comfortable around them on my own. And Nikki_18 the 5 of us always say we put family first. I considered all of them family but I guess I they didn't consider me part of it. Thats what really gets me mad. Richey, I can relate to your situations too. When I go to school I'm always alone and see everyone else around me. When I go to a store its the same. I'm not really social at all, I can't make friends at all and the ones I do have I'm great full for and I'm really depressed now cause I've lost most of them last night.
 
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