WHY should I ever get a girlfriend?

theslowesthand

theslowesthand

Banned
Supposing it were possible, and i were in a position to decide to, what would the POSITIVES be of having a girlfriend?. I'm well-versed (in my head) about all or most of the NEGATIVES (real and imagined), so i don't need that information (but include the negatives if you need to)
And what about the "casual-booty-call" girlfriend , or "one-night" girfriend??

Keep in mind that this question is from the perspective of somebody with SA and ~Aspergers
 
Kiwong

Kiwong

Well-known member
I'm really struggling to think of any reason at all. Maybe when I'm in less cynical mood.
 
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F

Feathers

Well-known member
If you don't see a reason, maybe it's better to not have a girlfriend?

Someone posted that already: Behind every successful man there's a woman (rolling her eyes :rolleyes:).

In the past, it was for easier survival: 2 people can afford rent more easily or split expenses (depends if she works/has any money or other assets or not and if she can be thrifty/resourceful) or any work to be done.

Combination of skills: in the old days, men worked in the field, women cooked.. Nowadays, you both can work and cook - it can be more fun cooking together?? (Depends on personalities etc!)

Casual/not-committed/one night - can you be together with that person on holidays or for your birthday or Valentine's? (When people usually/often feel most lonely... Or will they be with someone else?)
If they are cheating on someone else, you and/or they can get that person's wrath too..
It may be a temporary 'fun' experience, may make you feel even more lonely ...
Can you rely on them for emotional support or will they be busy elsewhere...?
 
U

UnOccupied

Well-known member
Maybe you should start by trying to find a girl to be a good or even best friend. This way you can start to regain your trust in women, which it seems like you don't have much. This is also good, because if you think of women as being friends instead of sexual partners, it reduces awkwardness a lot. Also, you don't need to find a girl you are attracted to to be a good friend.

In general, women are wayyyy better at talking about feelings, and emotions that most men wouldn't be comfortable talking about. Idk about you, but i feel way better when i can be open with someone, and that is very hard with my guy friends.
 
coyote

coyote

Well-known member
You don't just go out and "get a girlfriend" like you're shopping for a loaf of bread.

An intimate relationship develops because two people like being around each other so much that they don't want to be apart.

So, when the time and the person is right - there will be no question whether you should or you shouldn't.
 
Satine

Satine

Well-known member
I'm going to take you literally, since you asked 'why should I ever get a girlfriend?' , with emphasis on the word 'should'.

There's no need to impose shoulds on yourself, certainly not ones like this. A relationship is... well, perhaps it's best called a recreational activity (because ultimately, it's opional). But it's better, I think, just to get into one if you want one, and not get into one if you don't.

What's prompted you to ask this question? Peer pressure? A combination of loneliness and trepidation? Perhaps your answer to this question might help us all to give you an answer to 'why should you get a girlfriend?'.
 
3lefts

3lefts

Well-known member
What I've come to understand is that we need people, and we need partners. Where do you think you've gotten half the knowledge you already know? Because of the people before you who put it in context for us to understand or learn from and develop our own. We are very much capable, but only as successful as we are because of the people we coexist with.
Therefore, there are things about entering a relationship with someone, that you will never possibly be able to imagine or understand now, and will only learn by doing so.
I think it's worth it to learn and have an experience that's enthralling, because what else are we going to do with life? Have an experience that's boring?
Not to mention a lack of physical contact isn't good for you :D
I sort of rushed through this explanation but in any case these are my thoughts.
 
M

Minty

Well-known member
I think the OP just wants to know what the pros are of having a relationship. They're genuinely curious and want your insight...I don't think they're complaining about being forced into it. I could be wrong though.

I think relationships help you grow as an individual. You learn a lot about yourself. Certain aspects of yourself won't get fully developed until you've fallen in love and have been committed to someone outside of yourself.

Relationships aren't for everyone though. Some people are made to be loners and that's just how they like it. :)

I think you should experiment and see if it's for you.
 
theslowesthand

theslowesthand

Banned
ShyKiwi said:
Intimacy, love, acceptance, companionship, friendship, cuddles...?
Click to expand...
I've never had any of these things, really, and i've learnt to deal with life without them - and i don't know what is like to have them, so i don't have any "sadness" about not having.

So my question still stands.
 
theslowesthand

theslowesthand

Banned
Adrox said:
free sex
Click to expand...
Even if it's just the booty-call gf, or even one-night, i dunno about other SA'ers, but i know that personally i would "pay through the nose" for it .. so for me at least, the benefits are not "free" (as "she" is a human being, and humans bring problems/trouble)
 
Aussie_Lad

Aussie_Lad

Well-known member
A good relationship will add to your energy levels. You will feel more motivated in life, and a weight will be lifted off your shoulders. You will get a sense that everything is alright and will continue to be alright. This person may also help you to learn more about yourself, which benefits self-improvement.
 
theslowesthand

theslowesthand

Banned
PunkRotten said:
Don't get a GF then. Why even ask? You act as if you are being forced
Click to expand...
Maybe the title is a little ambiguous - i am not being "forced", and nor am I "dead-against" (just "mainly" against?) it ever happening. The times of me feeling vulnerable to peer-pressure & society-pressure are long gone. I am very much my own person, and i just happen to be in a "place" where i am JUST WONDERING about this idea of me having a girlfriend (of some degree). I am the type of person who has to THINK long and hard, before they do anything (ie a "thinker", not a "doer"). Its just the way i roll; i NEED to have everything fully-analysed before I take any further step in whatever direction, in whatever i do. Presently i am kind of sitting-the-fence, as always really.

What led me to creating this thread was that i have just recently joined one of those "free sex" sites, and it has started to make me think about stuff (ie i joined on a random impulse, after chancing upon it on web, but NOW i am rapidly "back-tracking", having 2nd/3rd/.. thoughts on it, panicking a bit, etc). I have gotten about a dozen replies, one whom replied thrice, providing me with a somewhat "raunchy" photo for each (basically "offering herself on a platter", but that is what is done on these sites i beleive). I am just the "standard" non-paying member, and so i cannot share any contact details with these women. Also i hastily added "..DO NOT expect me to reply" in my profile, but rid that as i tried replying & can't (as not paid).

So this thread i'm hoping will help me to decide on 1) whether i should become a paying member, and 2) whether it's wise for me to get involved with such "loose" women (which i assume they more-or-less are), and maybe 3) whether it's wise for me to have ANY form of girlfriend or "contact" with young women (platonic or otherwise) (or maybe the other way round!)
 
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