why is so hard to be happy ?!

Sometimes i just feel the need to cry even if is a moment when i should be happy. Do you cry when something good happend to you? Sometimes i do because i know that everything ends at last... and i can't do anything to change that. Why all those things are so epheremal? Is like i can't enjoy any moment coz i think after all that happiness will come something bad or i will lost that feeling of joy and instead of it i will be feeling empty. Just the thought that i will lose something that was good in my life or the thought of ENDING make me feel so bad and without reason for anything. I think this is the most important reason when i'm sad. Thouse thoughts and ...people who are evil most of them ....
And now i'm sad

Hi Broken smile I know exactly what you're talking about when you say its so hard to be happy. I feel the exact same way too. With me its like I can't even laugh anymore. Its almost like the part of me that used to laugh has died I literally have to force myself to smile or laugh. I can't remember the last time I was happy But when you're living with an illness like SA/SP which totally fucks up your life, then I guess it is hard to be happy :x

Hey guys thanks for your replyes and sorry for your sad storyes.

It's hard to be happy and nothing will gonna change that thing and anything has an ENDING in this life but that is how is suppose to be. Nothing will gonna change that.
END is a new beginning isn't so?! So i will try to be happy, i will try to live the life in present and stop thinking in past or in future. If i spend my time thinking at my past or worrying about future i can't enjoy the present and time goes by me and then i realize that i even "lived" .
I will just focus about doing the right thing at time, doing what i think is good for me not what everybody else doing or what they think i should do . If i will make a mistake i will try o fix it quickly somehow. If doesn't work i will be fine coz i will know that i tryed the best .
I just say to myself that people who really care about me will find a way to stay in touch with me and that true friends are forever so i don't have to do anything to keep people in my life. Who wanna spend time with me is welcome and who don't is free to go.
Yeah and important : stop worring so much and stop doing things that decrease my self esteem. And start loving myself ( sounds weird?! ) at least to be loved by ME coz i'm not so sure that anybody will give me love .... :?
Loving yourself is very important. You should try that too. If u love yourself u realise what is really important for you and that will keep you motivated to "fight" against anyting and to fight against SP/SA!
When u are down try to focus about your hapiness. If u have to do a (GOOD) thing to be happy then try your best in that thing.

Writed here seems to be easy and good. :?
I feel much better now that i write those thoughts on a public forum.

I hope all of you will find a way to be happy and rise up when you'r down.

BrokenSmile said:

Sometimes i just feel the need to cry even if is a moment when i should be happy. Do you cry when something good happend to you? Sometimes i do because i know that everything ends at last... and i can't do anything to change that. Why all those things are so epheremal? Is like i can't enjoy any moment coz i think after all that happiness will come something bad or i will lost that feeling of joy and instead of it i will be feeling empty. Just the thought that i will lose something that was good in my life or the thought of ENDING make me feel so bad and without reason for anything. I think this is the most important reason when i'm sad. Thouse thoughts and ...people who are evil most of them ....
And now i'm sad

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I don't remember what i do when something happens to me that is good..precisely because it rarely happens. I am unhappy because i am too critical of my shortcomings.

I do get a feeling of rush that reminds me my happy moments won't last, and i try hard to hold onto the feeling of euphoria.

The ironic thing is Being happy is all in your head. If you block out the negative thoughts and choose to be happy you probably will, and nothing much physical actually happens to you, you know.

Smile, i want to compliment you for figuring things out on your own with great positivity.. when you first wrote down your feelings, you're saddened by loads.. even if it's a happy event coz you fear that it might not stay, but in your next reply you're full of sensibility.
Writing down our feelings helps, one way or another. Stories in this site touched me in a way i cant describe, somehow i feel like family here, helping one another in need.. Hope you guys are okay and well... Dont be too hard on yourselves

((((hugs))))

sweetsour_eisha said:

Smile, i want to compliment you for figuring things out on your own with great positivity.. when you first wrote down your feelings, you're saddened by loads.. even if it's a happy event coz you fear that it might not stay, but in your next reply you're full of sensibility.
Writing down our feelings helps, one way or another. Stories in this site touched me in a way i cant describe, somehow i feel like family here, helping one another in need.. Hope you guys are okay and well... Dont be too hard on yourselves

((((hugs))))

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Thank you for your words sweetsour_eisha they really put the smile on my face. I enjoy so much this forum. Reading other people storyes and posting my throughts help me a lot and people here are so supportive and they care about eachother. hugs for everybody

yeah, i unfortunately know how u feel. i used to get my hopes up about everything but it seems like i would only disappoint myself, so now i don't ever get excited about anything because it hurts so much to be brought back down by it, and i would just cry all day because of one event or little stupid thing that happened. and so i found that it is just easier if I don't care. but i know thats probably not a good thing to do.

wish i knew the answer ...

i can honestly say i have never felt "true" happiness

the rare times that i am lucky enough to experience what passes for happiness ... well, i can never embrace the feeling since i know it is only a matter of time before it escapes me

It's a fucked up world.