Why do we fear of people? give me Your reason of fear

Caseums21

Well-known member
My ex boyfriend used to hit me and put me in the hospital once. So I basically don't trust many guys. I'm not too nervous when hanging out with females but when I hang out with males, I get so nervous and defensive.
 

SilentType

Banned
I don't fear people but when there's a group I get all sweaty and nervous and for no reason there is no rational reason for me to act like this. I'm not thinking about anything, except what everyone else is thinking of me. There's nothing I can do about it. My heart palpitates and my mind races right along with it. I can't have a normal conversation when there's a group of more than like 4 people because I can't really muster out more than a mumbled version of what I meant to say. It's fucked up and nothing I have found works better than the one they call Mary Jane at easin the stress. It allows my mind to tale on new perspectives and just look at things in another light if you use it correctly. Again I'm not afraid of people, its just more reasonable for me at this point to avoid large social groups altogether. I may be crazy but I will be happy when the day comes. I will be camping out in california without a care in the fucking world. It's gonna be quite rad, indeed.


Peace
 

Kien

Well-known member
I fear big self confident people. I ofte feel that I want to shoot them with an automatic grenade launcher.
 

miss_amy

Well-known member
I feel I do have rational reasons for my fear of people. So many people have let me down, or started off nice the turned nasty on me. Even people who appear nice can turn and in my life quite a few have.

My main cause of this is my parents. My dad abused me. He was extremely controlling, called me names and this continued until my early 20's. Picked and commented about every aspect of my appearance. By my teens I have severe eating disorders and the anxieties started. I think my eating disorders were anxiety related too, unable to eat in front of people. I then 'escaped' by marrying someone who was equally as controlling and abusive. He treated me badly and broke several bones before he left me for a right tart. He walked out on me and our 2 kids the smallest was under a year old.

There have been jobs where people have been nasty to me. Bullied me, actually physically attacked me, stabbing my hand with a pencil. the only reason I can think of for them disliking me is that I came in above them on a higher wage. Or Ijust have easy target on my head or something.


Theres too much to list details here but theres loads of people....old inlaws told lies to try and take my kids, friend who have stolen from me, woman spat at me in street because she wanted my man. Bullied at work by people who I started off being friends with. Some people hate me just because I appear to be doing OK, got nice house, cars and business..I still must look ok too, at 33 I'm still getting the odd modelling job.

I seriously trust no one outside my immediate family, mum and sister. I can't see that ever changing but I would like to get rid of the scared feeling and the dread. I can happily live with people at a reasonable distance.
 

Foxglove

Well-known member
For me, the major reason for fearing people is that I have a huge inferiority complex. I feel like I am worthless and incompetent, and if I expose myself, so to speak, to other people, they will be able to scent that out like a wolf scents out prey, and they will attack me with scorn, disdain and ridicule. And I have had enough bad experiences with people to know that most of them are sneaky, arrogant, petty and obnoxious, so I'm not missing much when I choose to stay away from them.
 

Argamemnon

Well-known member
I always think about what others might be thinking about me (which is extremely negative in my mind)..

Constantly.. I really can't stop this; the harder I try the worse my anxiety gets... :(

I've been feeling very depressed and totally exhausted lately, and have to go to a wedding today with my parents! I'm going to take valerian root capsules. They help a little.

@Foxglove

Perfect post; I feel exactly like you. You describe things flawlessly and your English is perfect (I assume you're a native English speaker)
 
I don't fear people, but I try to avoid people who aren't close friends because I know that I won't have anything to say unless I plan it out in my mind first. I think I would have tons of friends if I could pause life when I wanted to so I could have time to think.
 

Zarrix

Well-known member
Social Phobics are afraid of being judged negatively. So if they don't know the person that well, or there is a potential to "stuff up" and a consequence for doing so, then we get anxious.

In turn we think they notice our anxiety, which is in effect a "stuff up" and the vicious circle begins anew.
 

LonelyGirl

Well-known member
I don't really have a rational reason for being afraid of people. I was bullied a lot when I was younger, but I was bullied because I was quiet, I wasn't quiet because I was bullied. It didn't exactly help my confidence and self esteem, but as I was scared of people anyway I can't think of my fear as rational.
 
I fear that people will hate me, think I'm stupid, or ugly.
I fear that people will not like what I like.
I fear of talking because I think I cannot speak correctly.
And I fear seeing people I know in an unfamiliar place.
It's easier for me to talk to strangers than people who I know.
 

xSleepy

Well-known member
Exactly what Psychedelicious said. ^^

But there is another reason. And im embarrissed to say it. But im really afraid of getting into a physical fight or even a verbal fight. It just scares the crap out of me. Ive never been in a fight before but ive always been afraid of it happening. So thats why im ALWAYS really nice to people and thats why I dont express my true feelings. I dont want to make anyone mad and make them want to kick the crap out of me!
There was this one time in 6th grade when my "used to be friend" came right up to my face and said , if i hear you talking crap about me again im gonna kick your ass!!, and she was a big girl so i was effing scared! And I never even said anything mean about her.

Thats one of the reasons why I avoid people. Because I can never stick up for myself cause im too afraid of how they will react.
 

Lewis

Member
I'm scared of that feeling you get when people laugh at you. When you're in a group of people and you become the butt of their jokes.

I'm scared that all of my worst characteristics....the things that are so ugly and detestable about me and that I hate and try to change every day.....I fear these things will spill out and everybody will see how revolting or horrible I really am and they will hate me and reject me and I will feel guilty and confused.
 

burner21

Active member
i fear that people will pick on something that i do and make fun of me for it. sometimes i speak too softly and i have a low voice. i've noticed that i can't really think and speak at the same time, if that makes sense, because i'm always nervous when speaking to people i don't know.
also, when people around me laugh quietly and i didn't hear why, i'll always think they're laughing at me. its kinda ridiculous, but for some reason, thats what i think.
 

recluse

Well-known member
I fear people becasue -

I never know what to talk about
I'm afraid they are judging my looks negatively
I'm afraid my voice sounds strange
I'm afraid i appear foolish
I'm afraid i appear boring

The list goes on.............................................
 

recluse

Well-known member
SleepingBeauty said:
Exactly what Psychedelicious said. ^^

But there is another reason. And im embarrissed to say it. But im really afraid of getting into a physical fight or even a verbal fight. It just scares the crap out of me. Ive never been in a fight before but ive always been afraid of it happening. So thats why im ALWAYS really nice to people and thats why I dont express my true feelings. I dont want to make anyone mad and make them want to kick the crap out of me!
There was this one time in 6th grade when my "used to be friend" came right up to my face and said , if i hear you talking crap about me again im gonna kick your ass!!, and she was a big girl so i was effing scared! And I never even said anything mean about her.

Thats one of the reasons why I avoid people. Because I can never stick up for myself cause im too afraid of how they will react.

I also get the same fear, that's why i lack assertion. I tend to let people walk over me too much.
 

recluse

Well-known member
Psychedelicious said:
I fear that people will hate me, think I'm stupid, or ugly.
I fear that people will not like what I like.
I fear of talking because I think I cannot speak correctly.
And I fear seeing people I know in an unfamiliar place.
It's easier for me to talk to strangers than people who I know.

What do you mean by not being able to speak correctly? I also am conscious of the way i speak.

I also relate to all your other stuff. I prefer to be in a strange place full of strangers because there's no one i know to see me if i look o'r do something strange.
 

recluse

Well-known member
miss_amy said:
I feel I do have rational reasons for my fear of people. So many people have let me down, or started off nice the turned nasty on me. Even people who appear nice can turn and in my life quite a few have.

My main cause of this is my parents. My dad abused me. He was extremely controlling, called me names and this continued until my early 20's. Picked and commented about every aspect of my appearance. By my teens I have severe eating disorders and the anxieties started. I think my eating disorders were anxiety related too, unable to eat in front of people. I then 'escaped' by marrying someone who was equally as controlling and abusive. He treated me badly and broke several bones before he left me for a right tart. He walked out on me and our 2 kids the smallest was under a year old.

There have been jobs where people have been nasty to me. Bullied me, actually physically attacked me, stabbing my hand with a pencil. the only reason I can think of for them disliking me is that I came in above them on a higher wage. Or Ijust have easy target on my head or something.


Theres too much to list details here but theres loads of people....old inlaws told lies to try and take my kids, friend who have stolen from me, woman spat at me in street because she wanted my man. Bullied at work by people who I started off being friends with. Some people hate me just because I appear to be doing OK, got nice house, cars and business..I still must look ok too, at 33 I'm still getting the odd modelling job.

I seriously trust no one outside my immediate family, mum and sister. I can't see that ever changing but I would like to get rid of the scared feeling and the dread. I can happily live with people at a reasonable distance.

I've also had an eating disorder.
 

miss_amy

Well-known member
Do you think it as linked in with the social anxiety stuff? I think mine was. I spent some time in a unit for eating disorders and quite a few there were anxiety related rather than trying to lose weight. I wasn't trying to be thin, just too nervous to eat.
 
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