I feel I do have rational reasons for my fear of people. So many people have let me down, or started off nice the turned nasty on me. Even people who appear nice can turn and in my life quite a few have.
My main cause of this is my parents. My dad abused me. He was extremely controlling, called me names and this continued until my early 20's. Picked and commented about every aspect of my appearance. By my teens I have severe eating disorders and the anxieties started. I think my eating disorders were anxiety related too, unable to eat in front of people. I then 'escaped' by marrying someone who was equally as controlling and abusive. He treated me badly and broke several bones before he left me for a right tart. He walked out on me and our 2 kids the smallest was under a year old.
There have been jobs where people have been nasty to me. Bullied me, actually physically attacked me, stabbing my hand with a pencil. the only reason I can think of for them disliking me is that I came in above them on a higher wage. Or Ijust have easy target on my head or something.
Theres too much to list details here but theres loads of people....old inlaws told lies to try and take my kids, friend who have stolen from me, woman spat at me in street because she wanted my man. Bullied at work by people who I started off being friends with. Some people hate me just because I appear to be doing OK, got nice house, cars and business..I still must look ok too, at 33 I'm still getting the odd modelling job.
I seriously trust no one outside my immediate family, mum and sister. I can't see that ever changing but I would like to get rid of the scared feeling and the dread. I can happily live with people at a reasonable distance.