why do the bad guys get all the girls?

silverwolf

silverwolf

Well-known member
Hi sorry to all the jerks out there. Has anyone ever heard the saying 'nice guys finish last'. I think I'm one of the nice guys yet it seems to me all the guys like me don't get any women but all the guys I consider to be 'jerks' do. Does anyone share my view? Why do you think this is?
 
Ayla

Ayla

Well-known member
K, here's my theory.

Jerks provoke emotion with their jerky ways - and silly girls (and sometimes even not so silly girls) misinterpret that emotion...or they get intrigued by it, and this draws them to said jerky guy...

BUT! as girls get older and wiser they ultimately look for good, solid, decent guys. In fact, they have a tendancy to complain that such guys don't exist, at least not in large enough quantities, so keep yourself out there... I mean, seriously, do all girls a favour and keep yourself out there.
 
Falcon

Falcon

Well-known member
Here's what I've read (not that I have any experience with this, I'm so far into my hole that I have never even been on a date)...

Girls don't like assholes or jerks, they like self confident, dominant guys. To a lot of guys who don't understand this, a self confident dominant guy can look like a jerk. He will tease the girl, touch her hand, arm or hair, playfully mock what she says, etc. He will try to dominate any other guy who tries to cut in. He won't offer to buy her a drink or do anything for her.

By contrast, an average guy will agree with whatever she says, he'll stick to safe topics, he'll tend to back down in front of other guys, he'll buy her things, etc. Basically he will kiss her butt. Women don't want that, they want someone fun, with personality. Especially beautiful women, who are used to hearing compliments all the time - they want someone with life. And to the rest of us, someone like that looks like a jerk.

Anywya this is what I have read, but I have no personal experience in this area so whatever. 8O
 
Horatio

Horatio

Well-known member
I heard it is instinctive...

females are attracted to strong confident guys that can deal with any threat that they are faced with. so a guy who pushes around others etc is ideal as obviously he isnt weak

a shy guy who can barely speak is hardly attractive at all

if you guys want a girl then you better start learning to stick up for yourself and start to treat other people like shit or noone will ever want you

easier said than done though I know :(
 
black_mamba

black_mamba

Well-known member
silverwolf said:
it seems to me all the guys like me don't get any women but all the guys I consider to be 'jerks' do.
Click to expand...

I'm reading the comments here, the usual theories about why half the population on earth must succumb to one idea simply because you feel inadequate. I'm sorry but I find it very patronising.

NO. Women are not a collective whole, they think individually. None of these theories are going to cover every single woman.

Its NOT instinctive, jerks are arseholes and any intelligent woman can see that.

My partner is a typically 'nice' guy. I think hes awesome. Admittedly, I'm not the prettiest or most outgoing female out there (i.e. not like the women you dream of), but I like myself enough to share my life with someone who doesn't treat me like a turd. Simple, non?
 
Bexi

Bexi

Well-known member
black_mamba said:
silverwolf said:
it seems to me all the guys like me don't get any women but all the guys I consider to be 'jerks' do.
Click to expand...

"I'm reading the comments here, the usual theories about why half the population on earth must succumb to one idea simply because you feel inadequate. I'm sorry but I find it very patronising.

NO. Women are not a collective whole, they think individually. None of these theories are going to cover every single woman.

Its NOT instinctive, jerks are arseholes and any intelligent woman can see that."

Well said blamba.

So many posts seem to be along these lines here.
"i'm a shy guy therefore NO woman wants me...all women want mean guys...etc etc"....

Some girls like thin guys, some girls like fat guys, some girls prefer personality over looks, some don't, some prefer someone outgoing, some prefer someone more reserved and so on....As is the same for blokes (men) xxxxxxxx
Click to expand...
 
LittleMissScareAll

LittleMissScareAll

Well-known member
Well then, that goes both ways...the snobby women always seem to be the ones who have all the luck with getting the seemingly better guys.

But anyway, I hate people like that(jerk guys)...but it's all I ever seem to meet, because usually they act all sweet at first and then the "real" them comes out after a short while. I hate people who change their personality overnight like that.

And to whoever said women like confident guys...actually I'd rather have someone with low self esteem, like myself....otherwise it wouldn't work anyway. Most guys I've met are TOO full of themselves anyway...not a good mix-- someone who thinks he's God, and someone who hates herself...that doesn't work long, because he finds someone who thinks more like himself and doesn't want to waste his time on the loser with no confidence.
 
Oddball

Oddball

Well-known member
I have a question do extremely outgoing girls usually go for the quiet, reclusive type like us or would they rather go for the outgoing type like themselves? just wondering cuz the only girls that try to talk to me are the super outgoing annoying type that wont stop talking.
 
Septor

Septor

Well-known member
Remember generalization are bad.When dealing with people you have to do it on a case by case basis,both women and men.The nice guy vs bad boy thing is more of a myth. People propagate this thing with out really thinking about.Yes there some women hate nice guys just like there women that really like nice guys.There thousand of different type women so you should not worry.Beside a lot of women get over bad boy thing once they realize that bad boy don't have hearts of gold.
 
shy_miss_fly

shy_miss_fly

Well-known member
Falcon said:
Girls don't like assholes or jerks, they like self confident, dominant guys. To a lot of guys who don't understand this, a self confident dominant guy can look like a jerk.
Click to expand...

That is so true, Its hard for me to be attracted to a shy, quiet guy, because im shy and quiet. It just dosent work. I agree that I do like guys that have lots of confidence and are dominant. But Im also older now and smarter and alot wiser. I can tell when a guy is a jerk or a player. But it took alot of getting my heart broken to figure this out.
 
4myself

4myself

Well-known member
yep, i have to agree with the other girls here, different people go for different things. If a person cant like you for who you are then are they really worth being with?.
 
LibertadIlusoria

LibertadIlusoria

Well-known member
I hate assholes. When I see someone being an asshole, I just want to punch their fucking face in. I'd much rather be with a nice guy who is quiet like me. Why would any (intelligent) girl want to go out with some jackass who doesn't even respect her? If a guy started treating me (or even other people) like shit, I'd leave him immediately.

Guys, if you ever want a girlfriend (who's not a complete idiot), DON'T start acting like a jerk. It won't impress anyone.
 
blight

blight

Well-known member
I agree actually that the generalizations are mostly correct in this case. The one amendment is that it does work the other way as well; "jerk girls" probably get guys easier too though admittedly most guys are probably more physically focused than girls.

It's unfortunate, but this is just another result of confidence being way overrated in our cultures. People should judge you by your actions and thoughts, not how well you can conform to the social habbits of the culture, which are mostly built on frivolity and phoniness anyway...

I see this all the time in the workplace. Upon being introduced to people or at the beginning of meetings, people are immediately judged by how "professional" they present themselves. There is a standard, generic attitude that everyone tries to copy; it is very confident but with sort of a fake laid-back attitude. It is a competition to see who can be the most *naturally condesending*.

It is the same way in main stream relationships. I'm not saying this is a sacred truth or anything, but just my opinion is that girls judge based more on how a guy makes them feel, and at least in the beginning is probably somewhat superficial. Whether a jerk or not, it is the show of confidence that is attractive to so many women. If you are weird, shy, and quiet (guilty), than you are not given the benefit of the doubt. Ever.

I think people should ask themselves what it is exactly they find so alluring and attractive about confidence and why.
 
LibertadIlusoria

LibertadIlusoria

Well-known member
blight said:
If you are weird, shy, and quiet (guilty), than you are not given the benefit of the doubt. Ever.
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but *I* like weird, shy, quiet guys.

(probably because I myself am weird, shy, and quiet though)
 
Juliegoolie

Juliegoolie

Member
Falcon said:
Here's what I've read (not that I have any experience with this, I'm so far into my hole that I have never even been on a date)...

Girls don't like assholes or jerks, they like self confident, dominant guys. To a lot of guys who don't understand this, a self confident dominant guy can look like a jerk. He will tease the girl, touch her hand, arm or hair, playfully mock what she says, etc. He will try to dominate any other guy who tries to cut in. He won't offer to buy her a drink or do anything for her.

By contrast, an average guy will agree with whatever she says, he'll stick to safe topics, he'll tend to back down in front of other guys, he'll buy her things, etc. Basically he will kiss her butt. Women don't want that, they want someone fun, with personality. Especially beautiful women, who are used to hearing compliments all the time - they want someone with life. And to the rest of us, someone like that looks like a jerk.

Anywya this is what I have read, but I have no personal experience in this area so whatever. 8O
Click to expand...

This is soo true!
 
Flowers-Of-Bloom

Flowers-Of-Bloom

Well-known member
I'm yet to actually witness any of this real life "girls like bad guys" bullshit.
However, I do agree with Falcon's 3 year-old-post.
 
Kien

Kien

Well-known member
Funny there was a thread recently on a swedish forums where a girl told about how she like fell in love with a dude 1 day ago. And her description of it all summed up girl's attraction in a nutshell.

I think I'm gonna be an axe murderer if I'm really feeling for having a girl some time in the future. :) Might even get a girl I try to kill.
 
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