Why cant i talk to a group of girls?

Emptyness

Member
Ok so im bad with one girl but i know a couple becasue they have either talked to me first or they talked to some one who i was talking to and they joined in, and after a few awkward months of catching there eye in my common area and looking away shylly i finally got the courage to talk to them. So i can talk to them when there alone but when her friends come, some of them who are in even my class, i just go really shy and can't talk to them so i just leave and it seems rude or weird.
Why cant i talked to them and what can i do?
 

hangbi92

Well-known member
i cant even talk to one girl. Yesterday there was one said hi to me and i pretended to be not hearing it and left. I think she thought I was a very rude person.
 
U

userremoved

Guest
Ha don't feel too bad. Even guys who aren't that shy have a hard time approaching a whole group of women at once.
 

stephen

Well-known member
I definitely feel more awkward with a group. Part of that is my low self esteem. I kind of think that if people have a few people to choose from then they aren't going to choose to talk to me. The other problem I have is following the conversation when there are many people talking over each other. Even if I do have something to say I am useless at finding a break in conversation where I can actually say it. Also the fact that you are a guy in a group of girls kind of puts you on the outer to begin with so it's not unusual that you might feel more awkward in that scenario.
 

Emptyness

Member
I think it is sort of like a stage fright thing. You are probably good one on one and then a group comes, I think you feel you can't focus on other people. I mean maybe you can approach her when she is with one or two people and then maybe gradually work your way up to more people. I think groups can be intimidating because it is not just one person to focus on, you have to worry about a few others judging you. Or maybe you can approach a few of the girls individually until you get comfortable with some. That may put you at ease next time you see a clan full of chicks :p

thats a good idea but my problem with that is that two of them are good friends with a guy from my secondary school, and even though i dont know him very well, for some reason it just seems difficult to talk to girls he knows becasue he's better than me and more popular so i have a paranoid feeling that he will judge me if i hang around with them.
 

Emptyness

Member
i cant even talk to one girl. Yesterday there was one said hi to me and i pretended to be not hearing it and left. I think she thought I was a very rude person.

i had that first with this girl, i would always try to not look at her when i am near her and when she looks at me i would pretend not to notice, but eventually i 'accidentally' bumped in to her in the school library when she was alone and had a small anout what she was working on, i then went there every morning for a month just to talk to her when she was alone.
 

Entourage!

Member
Ok so im bad with one girl but i know a couple becasue they have either talked to me first or they talked to some one who i was talking to and they joined in, and after a few awkward months of catching there eye in my common area and looking away shylly i finally got the courage to talk to them. So i can talk to them when there alone but when her friends come, some of them who are in even my class, i just go really shy and can't talk to them so i just leave and it seems rude or weird.
Why cant i talked to them and what can i do?

What I would do in your shoes, is develop reference experiences. Meaning approach girls with NO motive other than to develop experience. Don't even consider them potential dates or to get a phone number. You may have some awkward social moments. But guess what, you will also have some AMAZING ones where the girls will love you.

Then in the future when you want to approach a group of women you'll unconsciously think, I've done this well in the past... and there's no reason why I can't do it again.
 

commenter39

Well-known member
we all know SAD sufferers exagurate other people's judgements, but it s a fact that people like judging others, we know that and it may be a nightmare to think about it, maybe the key is not to care, take a chance
 

TimArends

Well-known member
When a bunch of girls are together they often act very different than they do when they are alone. They may tend to joke around and tease more etc. Perhaps this is what you are afraid of.

Plus, when you're talking who do you talk to. The girl you started with or one or more of the other girls.

I think the answer is simple but not necessarily easy. You stay there and talk and make comments and respond to whatever anybody says. You just hang around and talk.

Like I said, simple but not always easy.
 
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