when to Hate

i believe hate is a very important key factor in defeating anxiety

this is my opinion, but i just believe that sometimes we are afraid of rejection and want acceptance of people so bad and we get all intimidated by things
and at other times , people can treat us bad even strangers or friends. sooo , what we are gona do , always be nice to them ??? if we felt hurt or disrespected , then we can react with anger and hate
you gotta have hate inside,
in the end you forget about the people you just got mad , and you move on with your life, you be surprised that sometimes you will see that your hate turns to love, and you learn to forgive friends and even strangers

hate and love go together , even if they seem like opposites

My 2 cents on the subject of hate and believe me, I know it well having hated my father for many years, is that it does nothing but harm to you and not the other person. I heard someone say once that hating someone is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die!
I know and understand that it is only human to get angry sometime's, even Jesus got angry. But he also said not to let the sun go down on your wrath and to be angry but sin not.
I think maybe what you might have been trying to say is "passion" instead of "hate". Like that it is needed at time's?
Anyway, I am married and my hubby and I have had our share of disagreements especially in the begining (married 8 yrs. now) and at first when we would fight neither one of us wanted to give in or be the first to break the silence if we weren't talking. But all this did was make us suffer in silence longer than we had to. To feel bad for longer all because of our pride. Now if we disagree, I'm ready to be the first to apologize because I know I don't want to spend the rest of the day upset, even if it is not my fault, I'll try to make peace first. Just because life is too short.

Newshyguy,

Hate solves nothing, it's like fighting for peace. Peace and calm only comes though learning to cultivate positive states of mind.

Hate is a destructive negative mind which views things in an unbeneficial way. It helps neither the person hating or the hated, therefore it is useless. It's only function is to cause harm to both self and others.

Hate does not defeat anxiety, it makes you further isolated and confused.
I think you are confused with hate and blaming your negative states of mind. I can tell you that if you want to hate anything, hate your negative thoughts. Your negative thoughts are not 'you' they are something that you observe. So the hate you are meaning is actually the determination not to listen to the negative thoughts that makes you feel bad in the first place.

When you say you gotta have hate inside, what you really mean is that you need the determination not to listen to all the negative thoughts that make you get angry and upset. You hate the way these negative thoughts make you feel, this is what i believe you really mean. It's got nothing to do with anyone else. People can only stimulate reactions and responses in us, we can choose how to react, but we must learn how to react instead of blindly following our habitual negative trains of thought.

When others treat us badly, even strangers, it wont matter because when we have learnt how to stop listening to our negative thoughts we will be able to always respond in constructive positive ways. This will bring an inner calm, realising that others also deal with these negative thoughts which cause them to harm us in the first place. Then we can properly forgive because we will see that they have little control also.

Love is a wish for others to be happy, which is not hate.

Jack

I think the above posts have already summed up what im about to say and better explained it.

But too much hate can be a bad thing if you let it cling on to you.I resent and have a huge amount of hate inside of me towards a certain person due to past events.And because i cant just move on and forget about it.. and i cant manage to forgive because the person wont even acknowledge they have done somthing wrong... its grown inside me and made me a more of a bitter darker person.

I think its also added to the negative emotions and thoughts i have from depression and sp, and hinders me from moving on.

newshyguy said:

i believe hate is a very important key factor in defeating anxiety

this is my opinion, but i just believe that sometimes we are afraid of rejection and want acceptance of people so bad and we get all intimidated by things
and at other times , people can treat us bad even strangers or friends. sooo , what we are gona do , always be nice to them ??? if we felt hurt or disrespected , then we can react with anger and hate
you gotta have hate inside,
in the end you forget about the people you just got mad , and you move on with your life, you be surprised that sometimes you will see that your hate turns to love, and you learn to forgive friends and even strangers

hate and love go together , even if they seem like opposites

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You want to use anger and hate to 'solve' the feelings of hurt and disrepect, while you should be trying to solve the feelings of hurt and disrepect.

Hate is not good. Ever. Just try to be happy/peaceful and hateful/angry at the same time. It's not possible. It's good that you'r ethinking about this, but you're approaching it the wrong way.

Same as what everybody has said already. It will not benefit you, on the contrary it will harm you. It takes more energy to hate someone, than it does to like them.

Besides, I would argue, that the only person you would be hating would be yourself for not succeeding. Hating others in this case is just another way of blaming somebody else for your own problems.

If you are going to hate somebody - have a very good reason to

the right to hate

ok first of all

I know it well having hated my father for many years, is that it does nothing but harm to you

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resent and have a huge amount of hate inside of me towards a certain person due to past events.

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i agree , hating people for many years is in no way healthy especially if is your father or mother

I know and understand that it is only human to get angry sometime's, even Jesus got angry....

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this is totally what i meant

But too much hate can be a bad thing if you let it cling on to you

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i know, i dont want nobody to start hating like the KKK hates on black ppl

It's got nothing to do with anyone else.

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its got to do with how people treat us, if someone mistreats us, we have the right to get angry, and stand up for ouselves. and if this people still treat us bad, we have the right to defend ourselves, maybe i exagerated my opinion by using the word "hate" , like stated above

1

You want to use anger and hate to 'solve' the feelings of hurt and disrepect, while you should be trying to solve the feelings of hurt and disrepect.

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i know, i dont go around just hating on people, like i said before, i meant the right to get angry at people when someone disrespects you or hurts you

If you are going to hate somebody - have a very good reason to

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this is what i also meant

Re: 1

i know, i dont go around just hating on people, like i said before, i meant the right to get angry at people when someone disrespects you or hurts you

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It is right to express your anger, but find more productive ways of doing it. If somebody hurts you or disrespects you intentionally, then you can either waste your energy in hating them, or you can pity them. Really feel sorry for why they are as they are. Really feel sorry for why they disrespect and want to hurt you. Wow, they must have had it really bad.

If you are going to hate somebody - have a very good reason to

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this is what i also meant[/quote]

I don't hate anybody, but there are some people in my life who I've not forgiven and who I don't like. I hope that I don't hate anybody in my life, because it is really wasting energy. But, sometimes, there are people who hurt you soo much, that they become a part of you, and you start to hate that aspect of you.

Remember, hating is not really a solution to anything. It just means making whatever you hate a part of you. It's wasting your energy, really it is. If you really hate somebody in your life, do something to channel all that suppressed anger and negatie energy and get it out of your system, so you can heal yourself.

You can do it through an art form, through a martial art or expressing yourself to somebody who will listen to you. You could even confront the subject of your hate. You should be trying to get rid of it, not adding more of it :wink:

agree?

Remember, hating is not really a solution to anything. It just means making whatever you hate a part of you. It's wasting your energy, really it is. If you really hate somebody in your life, do something to channel all that suppressed anger and negatie energy and get it out of your system, so you can heal yourself.

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no man, i dont SERIOUSLY hate anybody, i just get mad at them and i dont suppressed my anger either, i let it out right at the time of anger, whats the point of getting mad if your gona keep it inside??

newshyguy said:

hate and love go together , even if they seem like opposites

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They ARE opposites... But you gotta have opposites to have a Universal balance. Without hate in the world, hope and love have a lot less meaning. Having been hated gives me more appreciation of those that truly love me. *shrug*

There is nothing good about hate. Hate is like a living being. It grows and changes, intertwining itself in your mind and soul. It is like a cancer, the longer it lives in you the stronger and deeper it reaches into you. Its roots become embedded and twisted inside you. Once it grows enough it is nearly impossible to cut out. It will eventually find a way to kill you. ::::::

I hate necro-threading!

Remus said:

I hate necro-threading!

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What is necrothreading?

Peace is a lie, there is only passion.
Through passion, I gain strength.
Through strength, I gain power.
Through power, I gain victory.
Through victory, my chains are broken.
The Force shall free me.
-Sith code


And see where it got them in the end.

panicsurvivor said:

What is necrothreading?

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Digging up an ancient thread and replying to the long departed

I hate injustice and people who support it for their selfish reasons,but dont let hate consume you a few years ago it really consumed me and in the end it was really bad.

Hate is one of the factors that made me who i'm today. It also helped me in some situations.

This is a good opportunity to discuss why we hate people

People who are the focus of hate are usually there for one reason.

Miscommunication.
We hate them because we interpret their words or behavior to be an attack on our person. There's been a disagreement of sorts.

A story from my own experience to example this : Long long ago, In a land far away, When I worked there were two women. They were always sniping and bitching about each other. It got too much, one day I called them in to find out what the hell was the problem. They both started shouting 'SHE SAID THIS, SHE SAID THAT' blah blah blah blah. It took a while for either of them to remember why they hated each other in the first place, what had started the whole hateball rolling.

EVENTUALLY it turned out that one day the first woman was going on her lunch.She told her friend the second woman I'm going on lunch now. The second woman looked at her watch. This angered the first woman because she felt her colleague was timing her, spying on her, reporting on her, she felt betrayed and thought 'the cheek of her! who does she think she is?! I've been here longer and I'm a lot older than her!'. So when the first woman came back from her lunch she started glaring and the sniping she was understandably upset.

The second woman was actually looking at her watch because she needed to make a call at a 1pm. The first woman had reminded her it was lunch time but she wasn't sure if it was 12pm or 1pm. She wanted to record a show that was on at 1pm and she had to ring home to ask them to hit record. It had nothing to do with the first woman going on lunch. So when the first woman came back from lunch and started sniping and bitching at her, the second woman was hurt and felt attacked, betrayed. So she sniped back and the whole thing escalated between the two of them until it got to the point they could not do their jobs properly and it became a problem at work. It was then that I called them in to discover that they're dispute was a complete misunderstanding. When they realised what it had INITIALLY been about they both felt really really silly.


So I think the only think hate does, is develop an appetite for more hate. Completely counterproductive.

TheAristocrat said:

Finally! Something I can agree with

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We always agree haha