SocialPhobiaWorld.com  
     

Home Today's Posts Register Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read
 
Go Back   SocialPhobiaWorld.com > Social Anxiety Disorder Forums > Social Anxiety Forum
 
Search this Thread
Old 1 Week Ago
kuurt's Avatar
Newbie User
 

When did your social anxiety start? Can you pin point what started it? I'm just wondering because I watched some Youtube videos on social anxiety and some people can remember when their social anxiety started. Sometimes people even remember certain experiences that brought on their social anxiety.

I do have some experiences in grade school of being rejected by others. But I had social anxiety way before that. In fact, in my case, I have always been shy with social anxiety as far back as I can remember. I even remember being this way in preschool. Yes, I remember preschool. I was told I was even shy when I was running around in dippers. I have always been shy and had social anxiety.

Deep down inside I have feelings of unworthiness and an inferiority complex. I feel like that is the cause of my social anxiety. But how can a person be born with these kinds of feelings? I had those feeling even in preschool - I couldn't connect with the other kids because of it.
kuurt is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to kuurt For This Useful Post:
theslowesthand (1 Week Ago)
Old 1 Week Ago
theslowesthand's Avatar
Elite User
 

I can remember bawling my eyes out when mum was leaving me at pre-school, and also when my brother started school. And according to my mother, i cried a lot as a baby. It seems my social/anxiety issues started really early, like it did with you. I suspect the anxiety came first. There is a thing called "trait anxiety" which people are born with.
theslowesthand is offline  
Old 1 Week Ago
DixiefriedJJ's Avatar
Newbie User
 

There is some evidence to suggest that those with anxiety disorders have a different brain to those without. Its layout is slightly different. (this is not really proven though)
However, sometimes the way we are raised has an impact too. If our parents and surrounding adults are scared of spiders for example, we will learn that behaviour and also be scared of spider. It's possible you were exposed to SA and it's learnt behaviour.
Although, I think your case maybe similar to mine. It's natural for children to experience shyness, although most grow out of it. But for some it just gets worse. In my case I had shyness as a toddler/child, and then also developed a stutter (I don't remember how or when exactly) and from then on it was downhill from there.
Can you think of anything that may have been factor of your SA around pre-school age?

(I personally do think you can be born with it. It's a mental disorder, and I believe these can be genetic, however, how you are raised plays a huge part. Just because you're born with a mental disorder does not mean it will impact your life)
DixiefriedJJ is offline  
Old 6 Days Ago
Sacrament's Avatar
Elite User
 

I don't remember how I felt when I went to first grade, but I have a distinct memory of my mom (or grandma?) dropping me off and I was just clinging to her jacket not wanting to go in. I also remember that the bell at the school wasn't automatic yet (the cleaning ladies would ring the bell), and this one time when I was in 4th grade or something it was like 2 minutes after the hour and I started to freak the hell out thinking it would never ring and my grandfather was waiting for me outside. I'm not sure what I thought was going to happen exactly. I guess part of me thought we'd be trapped in there forever.
Sacrament is online now  
Old 6 Days Ago
vj288's Avatar
Elite User
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by kuurt View Post
When did your social anxiety start? Can you pin point what started it?
Had you asked me this questing seven or eight years ago, I would have felt like I could have given you fairly specific point in time, and a few of my leading theories for its onset. I'm sure buried deep in the archives of SPW there are quite a few posts where I go into detail about it, I think it was something I talked about a lot, and thought about.

I don't remember much of the specifics anymore though. Things started to change around ****rty - 12-13 or so. I think I was always a weird kid, but at a certain point I just sort of stopped talk, almost completely. When one's behavior changes so drastically and suddenly, it's becomes easier to pinpoint points in time, and possible causes.

I think the term "social anxiety" is a fairly broad umbrella though, and not everyone who identifies with the disorder does so in the same way. I think there's a lot of people like you, who feel like you've always been like this, as well as people like me who can remember a transition from being ok to being not ok.
vj288 is offline  
Old 6 Days Ago
kuurt's Avatar
Newbie User
 

If your social anxiety started at 12 or 13 vj288, then I'm surprised you don't remember what triggered it.

Quote:
Can you think of anything that may have been factor of your SA around pre-school age?
I can not. I remember when we had play time that I couldn't connect with the other kids. I also remember peeing my pants a few times because I was afraid to ask the teacher if I could go to the bathroom.
kuurt is offline  
Old 6 Days Ago
vj288's Avatar
Elite User
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by kuurt View Post
If your social anxiety started at 12 or 13 vj288, then I'm surprised you don't remember what triggered it.
At that age I had a lot of stuff going on, I don't know if one particular thing triggered it. A lot of which I have worked through, learned from what I could, and moved on from. I'm almost 26 now, and the specifics of what began my descend don't feel as relevant to me anymore I think? I don't feel like what caused my SA (and related issues) are the reason I still struggle with them anymore.
vj288 is offline  
Old 5 Days Ago
Hot_Tamale's Avatar
Advanced User
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by vj288 View Post
I don't feel like what caused my SA (and related issues) are the reason I still struggle with them anymore.
Same in my case as well. The reasons I still have severe social problems is because of deep seated issues put there in my childhood, not because of issues today that scare me. The feelings put there of not being good enough...to anyone that still linger.

But to answer your question "when did it start?" I know the day it began and I remember specific events that triggered it in me.

It was 6th grade and my mother dropped me off for my first day of school. I had horrible seperation anxiety so I sat in the back of the classroom crying like a big baby. I even remember the assignment the teacher gave the class, it was about ocean life. I guess the teacher didn't want to play the role of "mommy" to anyone because she obviously didn't give two sh*ts.

Add in bullying issues in 7th, 8th, and 9th grade, nerdy glasses, braces, and a neurological condition that decided to manifest itself in middle school and that is a recipe for disaster.
Hot_Tamale is online now  
Old 5 Days Ago
 

I strongly believe that social anxiety is one of the possible symptoms of low selfesteem. Also i think almost everyone feels social anxiety more or less. But for us it became a blockade to do the stuff we want.

I think in my case social anxiety slowly got integrated into my system because my mom was very critical of me and didn't let me make mistakes that children make without getting very angry with me. So while growing up she made me feel like i was less worthy. During highschool that started to express itself into social anxiety and avoidant behaviour. So it was more of a process than a specific moment in time. But usually it starts showing in highschool because kids can be judgemental.

Though i also believe it's possible to turn this process around. Its though, but once you have your foot in the door it can start snowballing. In a positive sense
Acegame is offline  
Old 4 Days Ago
theoutsider's Avatar
Expert User
 

I can't exactly pinpoint it but I remember being made to go to a birthday party I'd been invited to at around age 6. I was completely and utterly terrified. I stood in one spot of the room for the longest and didn't speak to anyone. At first even I thought it was just extreme shyness but it manifested itself in different ways throughout my childhood and into early adulthood. At that point I knew something beyond the ordinary was going on with me.
theoutsider is offline  
Old 3 Days Ago
AtTheGates's Avatar
Elite User
 

It started when I was really young. I was the black sheep of my family and my older brother would always tell my parents I was "bothering" him so they'd usually make me go off by myself somewhere or send me to my room. He was also my dad's favorite son so he pretty much got the best parenting my dad had to offer. Me being the youngest and the black sheep, I pretty much got whatever was left over after his patience had been worn thin from working and taking care of two other kids that he cared about/loved more.

Basically , in my family THEY were the kids who could do no wrong and I was the kid who was ALWAYS wrong...Even if I WASNT. I cant remember my brother or sister ever being disciplined nearly as much as me and when they were it wasnt the same as me. I would get slapped IN the face multiple times. I was even tied to a chair on a few occasions because I wouldnt stay in my room. I dont recall THEM ever being punished like that. But of course, these are things that only my immediate family knows about and im sure they would deny it anyway. so its not the kind of thing I ever tell anyone.


All of that is something that really effected me when it came to making freinds in school/elsewhere. It caused me to have trust issues and be very timid in social situations. Anything beyond small talk is hard for me. Not because im incapable of it but simply because iv become more and more emotionally GUARDED over the years .Thats why iv never had very many freinds.


To this day my older brother and sister share freinds and go out to parties and events together...iv never been a part of that ever since i was a kid. Also him and my dad still have a close bond that iv never had with either one of them. I used to try to have that bond with them but over the years I just realized that they werent really interested (especially my brother). So I just stopped trying.



anyway, I think all of that is the root cause of my anxiety and depression..Iv been able to overcome my anxiety enough to do well when it comes to career and school.....But I still carry a heavy depression with me most days that is really hard to ignore or "shake off", so to speak. Its very hard to keep your morale/motivation up when you dont have a close bond with anyone.
AtTheGates is offline  
Old 3 Days Ago
kuurt's Avatar
Newbie User
 

I'm also the youngest in my family. I have an older brother and sister. When I was younger my sister and brother would talk to me in a way that made me feel like they were smarter than me. Like when they had to explain something to me, which was often. Of course they were smarter than me - they were older. But, that could have got me into a pattern of not feeling as smart as those around me (my family). And that could have carried over to other people - maybe that's why I feel inferior. Maybe that's why I'm shy with other people because I feel like I'm probably not as smart as them just like I'm not as smart as my brother and sister.
kuurt is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to kuurt For This Useful Post:
Lionhearted (1 Day Ago)
Old 1 Day Ago
Lionhearted's Avatar
Newbie User
 

It definitely started with some sort of parenting issues in early and late childhood. It's my firm conviction that the home-schooling I had received, had a lot to do about it, but pampering also had it's own role to play. And also, siblings, who are older than you.

I didn't have much problem in the early years in school(after the period of home-schooling), and I still remembering having at least one friend, with whom I could 'connect' with. But my family had to move around a lot due to my parent's jobs, and I ended up having to go to a lot of schools. And the adjustment to new environments got more difficult for me to handle, in the later grades of school.

And I also remember sitting in the same position in class for the whole day - and repeating that routine for 3-4 years in school. Eventually, I had to go to other schools, and it got even worse. I wouldn't talk, I wouldn't get up from the bench unless it was for lunch - I wouldn't even go to the bathroom(I wonder how I did that )

But it's sort of getting 'cured' right now. I do feel occasional 'pangs' of anxiety, but the main problem is just 'sweaty eyes that tear a lot', and a lot of socially awkward behaviour whenever I talk with others. I don't feel I have any problems right now - especially about being introverted. It's like introversion has become an inseparable part of my identity.
Lionhearted is offline  
Old 4 Hours Ago
fitnessbabe38's Avatar
Newbie User
 

I think I was born with it because I have an symptoms of social anxiety disorder as far back as I can remember. There was nothing that had triggered it, it's just always been there so for me it has been a life long thing.
fitnessbabe38 is offline  
Post Reply
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search


Similar Threads to When did your social anxiety start?
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Meetup.com, I want to start a social anxiety group, but.... EscapeArtist Social Anxiety Forum 5 6 Days Ago 04:13 AM
How to start a friendship with someone who has social anxiety? Ettealvo Social Anxiety Forum 20 09-15-2016 03:32 AM
How do you start a conversation with a Social Phobic? Shelby<3'sASocialPhobic Social Anxiety Forum 2 12-02-2011 08:31 PM
Trying to start a Social Anxiety guild on World of Warcraft MNinja Off-Topic 0 12-30-2007 07:02 AM
Re: When did your social anxiety start? Shyguest Social Anxiety Forum 34 04-06-2006 11:15 PM



Mobile Version
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.10
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Powered by vBadvanced CMPS v3.2.2
All times are GMT. The time now is 03:18 PM.