3lefts
Well-known member
I could live the rest of my life alone, I really don't care because I'm comfortable with myself.
There are just these moments, like how I'm cold when I first get into bed, and the sheets are cold and I just want somebody warm to hold me. Ick. These stupid little moments that make me wish I had somebody.
So I convince myself that I am capable of a healthy relationship. That it will happen on it's own yadda-yadda.
How can it happen when I've never met a guy in person, who seems like he'd really love me. How can it happen when I feel extreme discomfort being physically close? When I dislike being looked at or flirted with because it all leads in one direction that starts to make me sick. I crave intimacy, but really the reality of it makes me cringe... How do I deal with these contradicting emotions?
If I can find and make a mental connection, will I ever manage to feel comfortable in their arms?
I feel like there is no one crazy enough to connect with me. No one that will ever make me feel ohk in their presence. No one that will care enough.
I don't want to be used, and I don't want to be just anybody. The same in reverse. I don't want to use, and I don't want them to be just anybody to me.
That is why I don't get dating. You just file through people.
I think it is better to have an open relationship than one that you're going to stop caring about...
aeorgheruo Just had to get that out.
There are just these moments, like how I'm cold when I first get into bed, and the sheets are cold and I just want somebody warm to hold me. Ick. These stupid little moments that make me wish I had somebody.
So I convince myself that I am capable of a healthy relationship. That it will happen on it's own yadda-yadda.
How can it happen when I've never met a guy in person, who seems like he'd really love me. How can it happen when I feel extreme discomfort being physically close? When I dislike being looked at or flirted with because it all leads in one direction that starts to make me sick. I crave intimacy, but really the reality of it makes me cringe... How do I deal with these contradicting emotions?
If I can find and make a mental connection, will I ever manage to feel comfortable in their arms?
I feel like there is no one crazy enough to connect with me. No one that will ever make me feel ohk in their presence. No one that will care enough.
I don't want to be used, and I don't want to be just anybody. The same in reverse. I don't want to use, and I don't want them to be just anybody to me.
That is why I don't get dating. You just file through people.
I think it is better to have an open relationship than one that you're going to stop caring about...
aeorgheruo Just had to get that out.