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Old 03-31-2008
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What happens if you really are not interested in anything that involves socializing with other people. I have no interests in that, which makes me pretty much a loner, because i cannot interact with people in a social environment. And when i do (on the rare occasions) i get panic attacks, i feel left out. So rather than feeling awkward, i just leave, and go home

so i think i am pretty screwed in finding someone for me though, because that is how people meet is in those situations.

For me mentally to go out into a social environment is more painful than kidney stones.
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Old 03-31-2008
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Hey Dude. Im sure you heard this before. But there are many hobbies one can do on ones own. Such a art, taking up a musical instrument or pottery. Many from the satifaction that you get from the small achievements that you get from these hobbies, you can gain some confidence to take a step and enroll in something that requires interaction.

Anyways thats just me.
Nice to meet you by the way!
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Old 03-31-2008
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But i don't like anything though, i don't like to do anything. I have no interests in ANYTHING
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Old 03-31-2008
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lifesnotfair
But i don't like anything though, i don't like to do anything. I have no interests in ANYTHING
You can learn to like something. I used to hate watching sports when I was growing up. I groaned when a friend suggested watching some sporting event on TV. Now I love watching basketball, American football, boxing. It's a fun thing to get together to watch a game and it has a tremendous social benefit. Just pick up some hobby, try it for a while even if you don't like it. I hate doing outdoor stuff, but if a friend is setting up a hike with a bunch of other people, I go.
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Old 03-31-2008
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Do you have an interest in being online? Do you blog? Maybe you could learn a HTML and design webpages. I used to do that, and now it has become part of my career.

I agree with having to learn to love your interests, in the beginning doing nothing is definitely easier than actually doing something, but after a while, you realise that the benefits far outweigh getting out of bed, or out of your mind space for a while.
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Old 03-31-2008
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lifesnotfair
But i don't like anything though, i don't like to do anything. I have no interests in ANYTHING
What kind of stuff do you do at home? Watch TV, listen to music, play video games?
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Old 04-01-2008
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Ok dude I so know where you are coming from. You are just depressed and fed up with life to the point where you just don't give a damn. I'd just like to say that the reason you feel empty is because you have no social life if you did you would feel great and be interested in lots of things because so******ing is essential for humans.
Here's the good news: You can do it.
Here's the bad news: Its a long hard painful road and you're gonna cry. I mean tears are gonna stream from your face. Its gonna happen a lot. This is fine.
But the better you get the more you enjoy it. When you start anything you are pretty rubbish at it but you get better. Learning a musical instrument takes about 2 years. I think becoming really sociable has a similar learning curve. Probably 1 year of hard work just to feel comfortable.
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Old 04-01-2008
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Well, what are some of your favorite sites to look up on the Internet? Do you have favorite TV shows and movies? Favorite bands and types of music?

Don't dismiss those as interests. I used to, but now I find that they really are good topics of conversation. Especially current TV shows.


If you really are completely comfortable and satisfied in being by yourself, there's nothing wrong with that. But it seems that you're unhappy with it. Or at least unhappy with the idea of having no significant other. Have you tried online dating? I haven't, but that may be an option for you.

I've even seen a site online before where if you liked tennis but didn't have anyone to play with, you could go to this site and find people to play with. Like people in the same boat as you who don't have anyone to play with either, but really enjoy the sport. Just do some googling and you could find something.
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Old 04-01-2008
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Anhedonia, the loss of pleasure in ordinary things, is one of the symptoms of depression.

I've had it to some extent. What I did was try to keep doing things that had previously interested me (video games was the big one). Or you could try picking out some sort of beneficial goal to work toward, like getting a college degree, learning to play an instrument, learning to draw, or saving up X amount of money for a new camera or computer or bicycle whatever would make your life more interesting.

I guess it would be hard to do any of this without some starting point for interests, but surely you haven't been like this forever? I can't look into your mind, but my bet is that the depression or anxiety is preventing you from seeing what you really like.[/url]
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Old 04-01-2008
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lifesnotfair
What happens if you really are not interested in anything that involves socializing with other people. I have no interests in that, which makes me pretty much a loner, because i cannot interact with people in a social environment.
Its a vicious circle. The more alienated and "outside" you become, the more depressed and withdrawn one becomes. Breaking out of that cycle is probably the hardest part.

Quote:
Originally Posted by AM
Do you have an interest in being online? Do you blog? Maybe you could learn a HTML and design webpages. I used to do that, and now it has become part of my career.
Brilliant!
I have some interest in web design and programming. The early stages in anything are the hardest, as I find when trying xhtml, css, paintshop pro, or any programming language, I get stuck and end up giving in for a while. I feel I need a slight push, as I too, get very apathetic with depression. I know there are forums and chat channels for these things out there, but they all seem to expect you to be reasonablly competent in whatever interest they persue before they are willing to help which is understandable. I just need that initial push in the right direction to get up and running, which I never find. I'm just badly disorganised I guess.
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Old 04-01-2008
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I think you do have interest in socializing, because it affects you so strongly. And the fact that you expressed yourself about it.

Whereas a sociopath, they really have no interest.

It seems like, because your possible needs are not met, you end up with lack of interest for the rest of the stuff.

Would it help to think of this conversation as an aspect of socializing?
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Old 04-01-2008
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We have to force ourselves to create some interests...
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Old 04-01-2008
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Well life simply becomes eve less worth living, and more suffering.
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Worth taking a look at, and give a serious try:
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Especially if you feel that your life is miserable.
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Old 04-03-2008
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the only thing i am interested in is computers... thats is, nothing more
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Old 04-03-2008
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lifesnotfair
the only thing i am interested in is computers... thats is, nothing more
really? i doubt that. there's gotta be more. and i'm not going anywhere until you tell us what it is.

sometimes i tell people i don't have a ton of interests... but that's only a nice way of saying "Hey, can we shut up and talk about YOU or something else for a change?" when in actuality, i'm interested in a ton of shit but i feel stupid when talking about myself half of the time!

then again, i feel stupid in pretty much everything i do, so go figure!
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Old 04-03-2008
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It is not that we have no interests, we just avoid situations were we are not comfortable... we always fail, so how the hell we will have interest in things if we have no motivation. You must win to get motivation, you must feel you have hope. Getting motivation does not depend on you, it depends on what happens around you. NO ONE GET MOTIVATED ALONE.


Well, there is one thing.... we think too much on the results, so you can say we don't have interests because we are more interested in the results, we do not care much about the process and the process involves interests. But we focus so much about the results because we never get them, it is very easy for people to have interests when results are not a problem for you. You have things to motivate you.


sry for the caps
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Old 04-03-2008
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lifesnotfair
What happens if you really are not interested in anything that involves socializing with other people. I have no interests in that, which makes me pretty much a loner, because i cannot interact with people in a social environment. And when i do (on the rare occasions) i get panic attacks, i feel left out. So rather than feeling awkward, i just leave, and go home

so i think i am pretty screwed in finding someone for me though, because that is how people meet is in those situations.

For me mentally to go out into a social environment is more painful than kidney stones.
Maybe i tell you something you dont like or help you, but i am in a similar situation. I used to enjoy the personsīs company. But suddenly when i have grown, the relationships had go away of me!!!
I mean that i have try to make friends, but without positive results". Now in the present i have no interest in to make friends, maybe i am tired of trying. So i have so much anxiety for development any hobbie or to learning anything, just not makes sense for me anything.

The society is terrible!!!
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Old 04-03-2008
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Quote:
Well, what are some of your favorite sites to look up on the Internet?
porn lol
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Old 04-03-2008
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Hey life,

Quote:
the only thing i am interested in is computers... thats is, nothing more
Computers are a HUGE interest, one that you could parlay EASILY into meeting people. You can teach computers to others, volunteer to help seniors use computers in a senior home (lots of very nice, young people volunteer in those places), do computer work for others....etc. The possibilities for using an interest in computers to meet people are endless.

But keep in mind, that if you are very interested in computers, you likely spend a lot of time in your LEFT brain, the logical, rational, analytical, sequential side of your brain. The side that provides social functioning is the RIGHT side.

Does this mean you're cursed or lame or a social outcast? No. Its simple biology. You just inherited a brain that operates similarly to some of the greatest minds in history (but not the most social minds in history). My guess is that your father or grandfather is a very logical, rational, analytical thinker

So you're gonna have to work on your knowledge of emotional intelligence. Google it. And seek out whatever knowledge you can on the subject of improving your social skills and reducing your anxieties.

Understand that your high functioning left brain means that you are very adept at learning new things. Instead of getting frustrated, use your brain to your advantage.
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