Were you teased/mocked growing up?

powerfulthoughts

Well-known member
I believe that a huge part of my issues with social anxiety was the way that I was relentlessly mocked and belittled by my older brothers and neglected and abused by my mother. I also grew up in a horrible city where the school I went to was filled with little wanna be gang bangers, so of course I never fitted in. I'm sure the root causes of social phobia are varied, but this is what I believe has been the root cause of mine. Any one else have similar issues growing up?
 

MikeyC

Well-known member
I'm sorry you had to go through that. Living in the wrong area with a family that belittles you is not the ideal way anyone should be growing up. That's so sad. ::(:

I was teased by people at school and that was quite a relentless thing, particularly at the start of high school. My brother was always the smarter one, too, and I think my parents could see that. I was never neglected but it was obvious from around year 10 in high school that he would go on to better things and I wouldn't.
 

Shyangel

Well-known member
I went through the same thing with my mother and siblings. It was constant and relentless. I hardly ever even felt comfortable in my own home. My mom honestly acted like we were a big inconvenience and had no problem saying it as much as she could. She called me a disappointment over the smallest mistake. It was hard to hear.
I'm sorry you had to deal with all that. It really has an affect on you.
 

Shyangel

Well-known member
That's really awful. ::(:

Yeah, I love her anyway, she's improve alot with that, but still. I don't really have a good relationship with my mom because of it. I'm sorry you felt less then your brother. Everyone's different and has different purposes. You shouldn't compare yourself to him or anyone else nor should others. I'm sure you have all kinds of great qualities that are unique to you that others would be jealous of, you just don't recognize it.
 

Srijita52

Well-known member
I'm sorry you had to go through all this. I was teased in middle and highschool but I don't know how much that contributed to my SA.

I'm sorry to hear what your mother said Shyangel. Its really awful.
 

Srijita52

Well-known member
Yeah, I love her anyway, she's improve alot with that, but still. I don't really have a good relationship with my mom because of it. I'm sorry you felt less then your brother. Everyone's different and has different purposes. You shouldn't compare yourself to him or anyone else nor should others. I'm sure you have all kinds of great qualities that are unique to you that others would be jealous of, you just don't recognize it.
^I agree, you really are amazing Mikey and like Shyangel said we all have our own unique qualities that can't be compared to others.
 

MikeyC

Well-known member
Yeah, I love her anyway, she's improve alot with that, but still. I don't really have a good relationship with my mom because of it. I'm sorry you felt less then your brother. Everyone's different and has different purposes. You shouldn't compare yourself to him or anyone else nor should others. I'm sure you have all kinds of great qualities that are unique to you that others would be jealous of, you just don't recognize it.
I'm glad she's improved but it still doesn't alter the memories. ::(: Yeah, I probably don't recognise them at all, haha. My brother is definitely winning more at life than I am and I hope he does well...so I can borrow money off him later!
 

new account

Active member
People treated me like garbage in school, so now I avoid people because I know how evil human beings are. I don't have a disorder for avoiding people. It's a natural behavior to avoid things that harm you.

School is a place of torture. People used to mock me every day for years. They mocked how I looked. Is that supposed to cheer me up? I still think that people might be thinking those things. Is someone superior to me if they look better? I used to not want to be seen. They used to bother me in other ways too. I felt like dying in school. I never want to go back. When I see people that are not treated badly, I don't know what they did to achieve it. I was so angry, but too kind to do anything about it. You could go to jail if you harm someone, so I wouldn't do that.

I feel that you can't trust anyone unless they're in a bad situation with people hating them also. THEN they MIGHT get the idea that they should be kinder, so they might act like they're your friend. I think that human beings are violent just like any other animal.
 

this_portrait

Well-known member
Of course I was teased, usually by the same kids for years. There was primarily one boy and his "cronies" who would do the majority of the teasing. I never told anyone about it, though. I'm 100% certain that if would've told my mother about it, she would've called the school and informed them of it, and they would've taken action (I was fortunate to be in a school that wouldn't tolerate teasing and bullying). I never said anything, though, and I ended up building all this anger inside that just came pouring out once I hit puberty.

So yes, I would say that teasing has contributed to my SA, but I know it's not the only thing that triggered it. There were plenty of other circumstances that also contributed.
 

Section_31

Well-known member
I was every day. Through junior high and highschool.

One time i finally had enough and just launched myself at the biggest kid in their group, landed on his chest, pinned his arms under my knees and just started whaling on him, i think i got a good 5 or 6 punches in before a bunch of people pulled me off him.

After that, they backed off because everyone thought i was some crazy loose cannon, LOL.

didnt wear glasses in those days. id never concieve of somthing like that now.
 

OvidiuDanut

Active member
Hi! I had an intuition that this must be the cause of my SA and you guys confirmed it. If we talk about a broken self esteem than there must be a point in our lives where that self esteem broke right? I also share the same essential story of never quite fitting in in any group while growing up from primary school all the way too college. While going on vacations i had a cousin who never took me with him when he was going out with friends. Pretty girls which i liked never seemed to be interested in me. I grew up for a long time without my father besides me and with a loving but very protective and bossy critic mother. If i remember correctly i was or at least i felt i was always the last one on the social foodchain. On top of all this i developed gaming addiction isolationg my self from social interraction. Wow....adding all up i think it would have been a miracle not to develop SA.
Knowing to well the painfull existence of SA persons i just want to say i love you all:)
 

Phoenixx

Well-known member
I was teased A LOT growing up, and I still am a bit. Not nearly as bad now though as it used to be. It all started in middle school and went all the way up until I graduated just this past summer. From ages 13 - 15 were the worst. Not one day would go by where I wasn't teased at school. And not only did I get teased at school during then, but I'd go home only to endure the same thing from my own mother and my brother. It's one thing to be teased at school, but to hear the same things, plus other insults from your own mother hurts more than anything. My relationship with her is definitely better now than it used to be, but I still find it very hard to talk to her sometimes. I can't bring myself to forgive her 100% for all she did, and she's never exactly apologized to me, but of course that doesn't mean she doesn't feel bad about it. Will I ever forgive her though? I don't even know. Heck I don't even know if I'll ever tell her about my social anxiety. She knows I have some anxiety, but she doesn't know the full extent, let alone how afraid I am of social situations. She just figures I'm extremely shy, when it's so much more than that.

Sorry, not sure where I was going with this, I started rambling. I think you get the point though.
 

PhantomPod

Well-known member
I was never teased in school. I always just sat there in class by myself. I didn't really talk to anyone and no one really talked to me. But at least no one in school would ever single me out or pick on me for being odd or because I was quiet.
 
I was always picked on, and some years, was bullied. I was picked on my physical appearences and then for completely no reason. I had huge eyes but now realize the kids were just jealous.I adore my eyes, had always been told they're perfect (especially from the eye doctor). I was also very skinny they and couldn't fill any clothes. Other kids were already developing and so they called me "flat". The other times when I had no idea why, the other kids saw something special in me, before I did. :D Not worried about them now.
 

powerfulthoughts

Well-known member
People treated me like garbage in school, so now I avoid people because I know how evil human beings are. I don't have a disorder for avoiding people. It's a natural behavior to avoid things that harm you.

You're right, it's a learned behavior. When people are cruel, we tend to internalize that and it becomes our reality of how people are. When a dog is constantly abused, it always cowers and flinches when you go to pet it. It's the reality of what was learned. The slow process of change must come from a realization that people are mostly nice, and to train ourselves to seek out this instead of what we have learned and internalized.

School is a place of torture. People used to mock me every day for years. They mocked how I looked. Is that supposed to cheer me up? I still think that people might be thinking those things. Is someone superior to me if they look better? I used to not want to be seen. They used to bother me in other ways too. I felt like dying in school. I never want to go back. When I see people that are not treated badly, I don't know what they did to achieve it. I was so angry, but too kind to do anything about it. You could go to jail if you harm someone, so I wouldn't do that.

I've also felt anger building up, until I realized that just compounds every single problem I already have. Public schools are definitely torture for some kids... it can ruin their lives if someone does not intervene. School was dreadful for me as well, along with my home life too. I come from a dysfunction so bad that I don't like to think about my past in any way. I am trying to start new... to give myself another chance and to get away from everything. Just let the dreadful past be in the rear view mirror... as time goes by that past becomes more distant. It's hard to shake the past from who I am, because really it has shaped me in many ways into the problems I have. But constant reading, knowledge, understanding, and hope and faith have pulled me through. I still have my self-loathing moments, but I know there has got to be a road to a somewhat functional life of recovery. Every tiny bit of progress accumulates and as the years go by... they will add up. Baby steps.

I feel that you can't trust anyone unless they're in a bad situation with people hating them also. THEN they MIGHT get the idea that they should be kinder, so they might act like they're your friend. I think that human beings are violent just like any other animal.

They are violent to some extent, but also civilized and are clearly distinct from the instinctive violence of animals. We have a conscience which allows us to choose this or that. Animals don't have such an option. Are not introspective at all, but only governed by instinct. Be strong my friend.
 

Orion's Hound

Active member
Never mocked at school so I got off lucky. I was a phantom there. Came and went. Only my creative writing teacher remembers me, I'd wager. Step dad was the worst about it. Smacked me around a fair bit. Beat me unconscious a few times. Always said it was because I "seemed to be lying and disrespecting him" - never made eye contact with him. Never made eye contact with anyone. Same with teachers. I was paddled every other week till third grade when it became forbidden by law. Always called me "defiant" and I never had to say a word to them.

Don't blame them, though. Well, I do blame my old step dad - he was a sociopath and a child molester, as we came to discover. Real piece of work. Teachers didn't know better, I guess. People were ignorant to these things back then. Nobody even knew what NVLD was. Still, I know it is why I tend to resent authority these days. Mistrust politicians, police, administrators, pretty much everyone with more power than me.
 

Shyangel

Well-known member
I'm glad she's improved but it still doesn't alter the memories. ::(: Yeah, I probably don't recognise them at all, haha. My brother is definitely winning more at life than I am and I hope he does well...so I can borrow money off him later!

My mom's very harsh, but I try and not hate her because she's my mother.
It's nice that your supporting your brother unconditionally, Mikey.::p:Haha!
Why do you think he's wining in life? You shouldn't look at it like that.
 
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