Update in my life

I haven't been very active for the past few months, but for anyone who cares (If anyone cares); I'd like to share some updates..

It's the strangest thing with video game addiction.. You start as an escapism and end up hooked and spending all day and night playing.. I reached a point where I have been back into reading more and feeling angered and repulsed by games and the morons in them. Anyone else that got over this addiction have a similar experience? I tried playing but now my frequent migraines have returned on both sides of my head.. So long as it does not move behind one or both eyes, it is tolerable. Past month my bank has had a negative balance as usual, but today it shows $0.00 and says ATM deposit for the exact amount I was in debt.. No idea how either! This past month I have been sleeping on a cot in my unit and my last drill paycheck only dented my debt, but left me still negative. I am considering dropping my auto insurance as it is driving me into severe debt constantly. I was also told the military might not cover the injury that occurred on active duty orders because of something my last unit failed to do in paperwork and oddly enough, I don't care what they do to me anymore, I'm tired of doing what's right and getting screwed; so I will do nothing and I expect the same results as trying. Oh, we tried to get food stamps, but they will not make a decision and it has been over a month.. We can't get them to reply.. Last time we reached out to the government for help, we got burned and it seems we have fallen prey to the same old crap. That's about all I can think of right now, so if anyone that reads this wants another update I'll do this.. I just need to get this crap out there to start feeling some relief.

"dropping my auto insurance " Can you increase the deductable and lower your rate?
"we tried to get food stamps, but they will not make a decision"
The Office of Family Assistance (OFA) of U.S. Department of Health and Human Services funds a program through the states called TANF (Temporary Assistance for Needy Families). TANF provides money and other types of assistance to qualifying families. Visit the OFA website for more information.
Administration for Children and Families: Office of Family Assistance (OFA)

No, I already have my deductable at $2,000.. If I have an accident, I'm pretty much going to be about as f-ked as if I didn't have insurance.. Might be time to look at trading the car in, but I have put a lot of time into working on that car and I really like the car. Advice on that, if so, might need help to convince myself to follow the most logical path.

You must get a discount for being in the military. I did when I was a volunteer librarian working for 6 hours a week. One of my first jobs was being an underwriter for PAFCO insurance and I remember which drivers had high insurance rates: bad drivers, old drivers, young drivers, inexperienced drivers, vehicles used for business in high traffic areas, etc.
Cancel the comprehensive coverage. Hire yourself and the car out as a delivery/taxi service. I do, for a local charity, and get paid for it, not a lot but it doesn't take much time and I can do my errands.
You sound like you are at the end of your rope and need a vacation. The financial stress
you are experiencing is leading to severe migraines which should be enough to get you on temporary disability.
Ask and you shall receive: I bet the forum members can help you with most of these unfortunate situations you are going through. Encouraging words and good advice could turn your world around, so go ahead and give us the wish list. I want to hear you laugh.

If they have it, I have likely already asked about military discount.. I usually do for everything. Any driver under 25 (I think it's 25) pays more and male drivers pay more as well. My car is a higher risk vehicle, so that pays more but 95% of the time there is no petrol in the tank, so it just sits there. In the military, I have had professional driving course for Emergency Vehicles (Course was part of my job training) and I'm not sure what comprehensive is or does. My car would be a lousy taxi vehicle and from my experience with working delivery jobs with my father as a child, it really messes up the car. I can't afford a vacation, I was planning on just driving up to Ontario or Quebec and sleeping in the car to get away for a while, but I don't have money for fuel and that summer plan went to crap. I haven't been on a vacation in years..lol I was thinking of trading the car in for a older used car thats better on petrol or one of two specific cars; a Fiat 500 or Honda Fit. I love the Mustang to death, but I know it isn't practical.. I still get the best MPG in the house..lol I also don't laugh that much.. :/

<Edit> When I went to school we told them I would not be driving the car, that was several years ago and my insurance was heavily cut (Price-wise) and my deductible heavily raised.. If they knew I was back, I'd be paying over $200 month for insurance.. It's only a matter of time before they catch on. Then I will have no choice but to sell the car or drop my insurance policy on it.

Well, the bank just closed my account.. :/

The most comfort I seem to be able to obtain is from books like 1984 and Fight Club.. I feel I can connect with that more than anything and anyone. I do not wish to cease being, but at the same time I feel I already have. Every interaction with the military, I want to do something self-destructive, because at least I might feel something, consequences be damned, I deserve to feel like I'm not an empty vessel in a vaccuum. Can't afford college, I suck at playing music, I'm broke financially and physically.. et cetera.. Yet I feel I haven't yet hit rock bottom, not until I'm faced with the decision to be homeless or squat in a house again. I got it, I sound crazy and or melodramatic, but I'm just writing my thoughts and feelings here; make what you will of them, because I'm trying the same thing.