Hi everyone. I have been diagnosed with OCD by the therapist I am currently seeing, but I guess I am seeking reassurance. I have unwanted thoughts of sexually abusing children. They really don't get too specific, and I am really not around children much. I just get images when I look at their face or pass them, of me grabbing them or attacting them because I might find them a slight bit attractive. It is really absurd when I think about it, because on a scale of 1-10 I would say that I only have sexual feelings of about a 1-3 on small children. I am perfectly attracted to women my age as well. With girls around the teenage age, I feel considerably more attracted to them, maybe about a 7 or so out of ten, but I am extremely comfortable around them. I guess it is because I know I would never do anything to hurt them, because it would be extremely selfish and also because I get less anxiety around them because I have "accepted" my moderate level of attractiveness to them. Really, I get nervous around small kids (specifically girls) that I really don't feel attracted to at all. Sometimes, however, my anxiety will warp my perception of them and I might find something mildly attractive in their face or something. I find these thoughts extremely unpleasant, and I know I would rather shoot myself in the head than ever act on them because I love children. What I want to know is if I have OCD, or am I legitimately a pervert/pedophile? thanks for any replies.
unwanted sexual obsessions
- Thread starter frogger
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IDK94657
Well-known member
Having the feelings is one thing, and acting on them is another. What separates some people from murderers and pedophiles are just the actions that the individual takes. Most likely it is the OCD talking, but if you must have closure then talk with your therapist about it.
Harleyq
Well-known member
Agreed. I study psychology in school and one thing I learned is that therapists hear far worse stories than yours and quite a few that are similar. They may be able to help you sort your feelings out.
getbornagain
Well-known member
Yeah, this is exactly what I go through in my battle with HOCD. It's ****ing crazy how anxiety can mimic attraction and feel REAL. But it's not..... Good luck with it, consider therapy, read books, become knowledgeable about the disorder. There is light at the end of the tunnel. In the end you are who you want to be.
I agree with the previous comments. It's just OCD. You certainly are no pedophile. Recently someone else on this board mentioned the same problem. Like you, I have been plagued by thoughts of doing things I would never want to do. OCD knows how to hit you where it hurts and can warp your mind and make you believe anything. In this case your OCD makes you believe you might harm a young girl when you would rather shoot yourself. You've got to try and trust your rational side and remind yourself you never have done anything like that.
It is not a problem having these thoughts because they exist only in your head, but if you felt you had to act on them to be able to feel sexual pleasure then it would be an issue.
I have had 'weird' sexual obsessive thoughts since I was young, not involving children, but certainly in the category of eyebrow raising. I learned to keep them to myself though.
I have had 'weird' sexual obsessive thoughts since I was young, not involving children, but certainly in the category of eyebrow raising. I learned to keep them to myself though.