Unable to show affection/have physical contact with a woman

Its just he always ''jumps'' when i am around and sometime **i think** he becomes aroused even and can't handle it. The other day i was in the cafeteria with him and had to bend down to pick up a coat one of the students dropped while walking by and when i stood up and turned back around to face him he was literally struggling to keep it together..he was running his fingers through his hair, couldn't decide if he should sit or stand..his legs were all over the place..he was just so jittery and then just ran out of the room..lol..he's done that before!

Hia anxiety around me is overwhelming. And i am just an average girl by the wayat least i think so..maybe its my big round butt..lol..he's a butt man definetly..uggggh i just don't know anymore.

I do catch him staring still from time to time, he likes to check me out..he thinks i don't know he's doing it!!!! He always has to leave the room immediately after he does it..with his head down usually...lets out a **sigh** sometime!


He just can't seem to handle being around me ''physically'' its as if his body betrays him in some way?




Guys>>???

Its just he always ''jumps'' when i am around and sometime **i think** he becomes aroused even and can't handle it.

The other day i was in the cafeteria with him and had to bend down to pick up a coat one of the students dropped while walking by and when i stood up and turned back around to face him he was literally struggling to keep it together..he was running his fingers through his hair, couldn't decide if he should sit or stand..his legs were all over the place..he was just so jittery and then just ran out of the room..lol..he's done that before!

Hia anxiety around me is overwhelming. And i am just an average girl by the wayat least i think so..maybe its my big round butt..lol..he's a butt man definetly..uggggh i just don't know anymore.

I do catch him staring still from time to time, he likes to check me out..he thinks i don't know he's doing it!!!! He always has to leave the room immediately after he does it..with his head down usually...lets out a **sigh** sometime!


He just can't seem to handle being around me ''physically'' its as if his body betrays him in some way?




Guys>>???

TooShyShy said:

Its just he always ''jumps'' when i am around and sometime **i think** he becomes aroused even and can't handle it.

The other day i was in the cafeteria with him and had to bend down to pick up a coat one of the students dropped while walking by and when i stood up and turned back around to face him he was literally struggling to keep it together..he was running his fingers through his hair, couldn't decide if he should sit or stand..his legs were all over the place..he was just so jittery and then just ran out of the room..lol..he's done that before!

Hia anxiety around me is overwhelming. And i am just an average girl by the wayat least i think so..maybe its my big round butt..lol..he's a butt man definetly..uggggh i just don't know anymore.

I do catch him staring still from time to time, he likes to check me out..he thinks i don't know he's doing it!!!! He always has to leave the room immediately after he does it..with his head down usually...lets out a **sigh** sometime!


He just can't seem to handle being around me ''physically'' its as if his body betrays him in some way?




Guys>>???

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Do you really like this guy? I mean... Do you think his social phobia attractive?
If I were you I would let him alone and try to find a normal guy.

TooShyShy said:

Guys>>???

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sorry, I'm still picturing you bending over to pick up the coat

Leave him alone???? Ok, what makes you think I am bothering him? He's the one who got caught driving by my home 3 weeks ago



I will answer your question....

And in the beginning i did think it was sweet and kind of refreshing...the shyness..now i see its far more then that and is becoming more and more difficult to deal with..its very frustrating and really sad for me at times i will admit.


Maybe my New Years Resolution will be to let it go once and for all...but can he, is the question? He tends to come around me more when i show him NO ATTENTION and sees me move on..or try at least!

TooShyShy said:

Leave him alone???? Ok, what makes you think I am bothering him? He's the one who got caught driving by my home 3 weeks ago



I will answer your question....

And in the beginning i did think it was sweet and kind of refreshing...the shyness..now i see its far more then that and is becoming more and more difficult to deal with..its very frustrating and really sad for me at times i will admit.


Maybe my New Years Resolution will be to let it go once and for all...but can he, is the question? He tends to come around me more when i show him NO ATTENTION and sees me move on..or try at least!

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I thinks it's very frustrating for normal people to date someone with this disorder. I can say for my own experience.
It's funny and good for 3 months then it's a torture for both involved.

I don't know how severe is his social phobia, but if it's pretty strong my advice is for you to go find someone else.

getbornagain said:

All it is is this:

PERFORMANCE ANXIETY. Simple as that. Performance anxiety can refer to sex, presentation, conversation, pretty much anything. And that's what love-shyness is, it is performance anxiety. Fear of rejection and failure, its what ****s us all over. It is curable though.

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Great frustration at possible returned response. Not known however feeling known the answer to be.

Question: Curable?

Thats a good idea about the new yrs resolution. Haven't u spent a couple years to this point waiting on him? If he hasn't done it by now, he's not going to. Take Klaus' advice. Find someone else. I think u might be having difficulty distinguishing ur thoughts and feelings from his, too. U say he feels this and that but thats only how u think he feels. U don't actually know. For example, u don't actually know why he drove on ur street. U seem convinced he was driving past ur house to see u or 'stalk' u but maybe he was going to his grandmas house. Maybe he was just hungry and heading to McDonalds. U don't know. Isn't the guy 40something, too? From what u describe of the things he's done, he sounds a little creepy to tell u the truth. U should really try to end the obsession u have with him. Make it ur resolution! Go 2011!

TooTooShy: I'd like to see you do an erotic dance for him, and then watch what his reaction is. It would be absolutely priceless to see.

I know that in my case it's not so much a fear of being touched as a fear of doing the touching. The last thing I want is to feel the rejection of making a mistake or coming on too forward that I rarely ever try and whenever I do I'm on high alert for any sign of her in discomfort that I'm positive on a few occasions I've pulled away completely when I probably didn't have too.

Is this thread dead or what?

Kind of crazy I FINALLY came across this. Just about everything I'm reading on here fits me to a T. It may have something to do with my upbringing as well though, never witnessed my dad show any affection towards my mom at all, so that may be where I get it from as well. I can never make a move, get extremely nervous when a girl gets close or is coming on to me. All I want is for them to go away so I can go back to my comfort zone. Whatever it is definitely caused some depression, but I'm over it now. Unfortunately not the best result, I just gave up and finally at terms with the fact that I'll be alone for the rest of my life. It took a while, but I finally did it, happiest I've been in a long time! You know, I was watching Good Will Hunting the other day and the therapist asked Will "Do you have a soulmate?" I can say with 100% certainty I do not.

BTW - I'm 28 years old in case anyone was wondering. Anyone looking for advice - hang in there, it gets better with time. Either you will fight through it, or become like me which isn't too bad. I know what it is like during that time - advice is pretty much useless, it is just drilled in your head that life is terrible. Best advice I can offer - hang in there.