Well I haven't posted in a long time, but I'm back. Now I have a bunch of problems and it's not helping that my fear/anxiety is so strong that I can't confront the person who has wronged me due to being humiliated.
I wasn't sure where to post this but as this is related to my SA feelings more, I'll post it here. Basically there's this person, a girl, who has a boyfriend. I've known her for 5 years, and suddenly she tells me she wants to leave him. She's only known him for 1.5 years and she tells me he wants kids already. This is all based online because I still don't "meet" people IRL. So first of all I do the wrong thing (I think by telling her she'd be an idiot, but seriously, kids at 1.5 years is ridiculous and you know it) and tell her that she'd be an idiot to do something like that. She has always claimed she has SA but I've always been not sure.
So, basically in my situation I continue to give her advice, I consider her a friend, and I like to help friends. I enjoy helping other people work out their problems. Anyone else like this? Well, so then, to cut it real short, she tells me she wants me over him. That blew my world apart, and here is where my problem is....
1) I try to do the right thing. I tell her to do what her heart tells her.
2) She gets upset sometimes, leaves suddenly, no answer, no response to my question. Won't allow me to talk to her.
3) Then she tells me she isn't "sure" what she wants, and that she loves him but loves me more. ((Ok.... in my dreams.))
4) Then she says she'll email me because she can't think and goes offline before I can respond.
And that was it. This is where I think I've been wronged... You see, I was all messed up the first few days knowing that I've been screwed with, then I went back to how I was, not wanting a girlfriend, just wanting to go about surviving life every day. That is where I am again right now. (after she did the following, I let her know that I had feelings for her all these years, and I did) I don't want a girlfriend any more, so I am OK about that, but my problem is I don't know how to deal with my anxiety in order to confront her. She terminated contact from me after she went offline, blocked me, not responded to my emails. She's made her choice, that is fair enough, but I don't like being screwed over like that. You can't just tell someone you want them after 5 years and completely terminate contact and block that person, right? The thing that gets me angry is that she is ACTIVE online still. Posting on her blog about her "bf" (not me I was never her bf, but her actual bf), facebook, forums, etc. She's obviously chosen to ignore me completely after she started turning a friendship into something more, and I kinda feel like I did something wrong, even though I didn't.
So, now I want to know, how am I supposed to confront people in future that do these little backstab tricks? Because I honestly am angry, very angry. It's bad enough with this anxiety then having someone come along and screw with my feelings. Glad in a way she did disappear so quick because I would have been REALLY hurt if she kept it going, but still.... I thought she was a friend. So I won't lie, I'm having a problem I guess with the aftermath of it. I don't feel good because I can't tell her how pissed I am. I don't like being rejected, and it sucks to know that right now every attempt I make to contact her and remain friends will result in zero response. How can I deal with the anger and frustration in general when people do this? Seems like I'm a big targeted for this "say this, do something else" bs people come out with.
Should I just, you know, forget that I've lost a friend because she "wanted" more as well, then decided she screwed up and couldn't tell me she was wrong. What gets me is I thought I was a really bad coward but I'd never do anything like that to someone, not with out an apology to them. Would it make me a coward if I just, didn't try to resolve this like I am trying? I've been trying for 2 weeks. Lurking in the background, reading her messages on her blog, facebook, etc. Sent several emails, no response. It's like, I'm being punished for having anxiety. The frustration of not resolving something, being rejected, being angry... Damn it really sucks...
Need to know what my next step should be, because I'm running out of ideas. I need to know what the best/right decision I can do next would be, at least that'd make me feel a bit better.
Thanks for reading, and apologies for venting
I don't usually do this.
I wasn't sure where to post this but as this is related to my SA feelings more, I'll post it here. Basically there's this person, a girl, who has a boyfriend. I've known her for 5 years, and suddenly she tells me she wants to leave him. She's only known him for 1.5 years and she tells me he wants kids already. This is all based online because I still don't "meet" people IRL. So first of all I do the wrong thing (I think by telling her she'd be an idiot, but seriously, kids at 1.5 years is ridiculous and you know it) and tell her that she'd be an idiot to do something like that. She has always claimed she has SA but I've always been not sure.
So, basically in my situation I continue to give her advice, I consider her a friend, and I like to help friends. I enjoy helping other people work out their problems. Anyone else like this? Well, so then, to cut it real short, she tells me she wants me over him. That blew my world apart, and here is where my problem is....
1) I try to do the right thing. I tell her to do what her heart tells her.
2) She gets upset sometimes, leaves suddenly, no answer, no response to my question. Won't allow me to talk to her.
3) Then she tells me she isn't "sure" what she wants, and that she loves him but loves me more. ((Ok.... in my dreams.))
4) Then she says she'll email me because she can't think and goes offline before I can respond.
And that was it. This is where I think I've been wronged... You see, I was all messed up the first few days knowing that I've been screwed with, then I went back to how I was, not wanting a girlfriend, just wanting to go about surviving life every day. That is where I am again right now. (after she did the following, I let her know that I had feelings for her all these years, and I did) I don't want a girlfriend any more, so I am OK about that, but my problem is I don't know how to deal with my anxiety in order to confront her. She terminated contact from me after she went offline, blocked me, not responded to my emails. She's made her choice, that is fair enough, but I don't like being screwed over like that. You can't just tell someone you want them after 5 years and completely terminate contact and block that person, right? The thing that gets me angry is that she is ACTIVE online still. Posting on her blog about her "bf" (not me I was never her bf, but her actual bf), facebook, forums, etc. She's obviously chosen to ignore me completely after she started turning a friendship into something more, and I kinda feel like I did something wrong, even though I didn't.
So, now I want to know, how am I supposed to confront people in future that do these little backstab tricks? Because I honestly am angry, very angry. It's bad enough with this anxiety then having someone come along and screw with my feelings. Glad in a way she did disappear so quick because I would have been REALLY hurt if she kept it going, but still.... I thought she was a friend. So I won't lie, I'm having a problem I guess with the aftermath of it. I don't feel good because I can't tell her how pissed I am. I don't like being rejected, and it sucks to know that right now every attempt I make to contact her and remain friends will result in zero response. How can I deal with the anger and frustration in general when people do this? Seems like I'm a big targeted for this "say this, do something else" bs people come out with.
Should I just, you know, forget that I've lost a friend because she "wanted" more as well, then decided she screwed up and couldn't tell me she was wrong. What gets me is I thought I was a really bad coward but I'd never do anything like that to someone, not with out an apology to them. Would it make me a coward if I just, didn't try to resolve this like I am trying? I've been trying for 2 weeks. Lurking in the background, reading her messages on her blog, facebook, etc. Sent several emails, no response. It's like, I'm being punished for having anxiety. The frustration of not resolving something, being rejected, being angry... Damn it really sucks...
Need to know what my next step should be, because I'm running out of ideas. I need to know what the best/right decision I can do next would be, at least that'd make me feel a bit better.
Thanks for reading, and apologies for venting
I don't usually do this.
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