ugly

bluemoon

Member
Hi,
Im new here. I have had social anxiety and low-self esteem for quite a while now. People I dont know in school call me ugly and laugh everytime they see my face...my friends say I look pretty. I dont know. And everytime I start feeling better about myself, comments like that plunge me into crying spells and I try to cut myself. please help
 

shep

Well-known member
Lots of people, especially school age, will put others down to give them a false sense of being superior. It hurts badly but keep the faith that you are a good person and just take things one day at a time and don't do as they do. Harming yourself will not solve anything. There are other young people to stay in touch with here and help you along. I'm a retired guy now but I'll never forget the first day in a new school when a boy ran up to me and kicked me for no reason. I was not the type to fight and he was a bully type. My feelings were hurt far more than the bruise from the kick. But remember, there are far more good people out there so don't let the cruddy ones get to you. :wink:
 

bluemoon

Member
thanks so much for those words :D . its really hard for me to trust people now cuz i think they are just going to hurt me.
 

LilMissTragic

Well-known member
Hello bluemoon,
I also have that problem. At school i was bullied day in day out by people telling me how gross and ugly i am, that followed me all the way to college and then into adulthood. There are some nasty people out there, they only make fun of us because it makes them feel better about themselves. Not sure how that works. I've figured that if I'm so ugly how come I have a fiance. I would agree with your friends, they obviously know you well and think you are pretty, dont let anyone else tell you differently.
 

Tirta

Well-known member
Some boy say FUCK YOU to me, i don't know why. Maybe i really that annoying to some people or maybe i just ugly.
 

-Jp

Well-known member
i had that too when i was still in school, it sucks that people act like that, now i view it like this; i know i can be ugly not because i am but because of my radiation (not sure how to say thet in english...
if i feel realy bad of feel realy uncomfertable i am ugly, it's just not a beautyfull view to look at someone that has those expressions on his face
or at least not how i express them...

i once saw this tv show on a sunny island and an interviewer asked one of the locals about how everybody looked so good on the island to wich the local replied it's because everybody is happy here and has no worry's
it's because they feel good

of course there are people that look better then others but if you feel good about yourself it makes a huge difference

i'm not sure if this comforts you but i make comfort in knowing this fact
and it makes me worry about it less and focus more on working for a better future

i also experienced that people that feel the need to call other people ugly are often uncertain about their own aprearance
 

specula

Member
A few years back when I was leaving my karate lesson one day, this girl who I didn’t even know, and who was several years younger than me, said “excuse me, you’re ugly”, then her and her gang of friends started laughing at me. I know it may seem insignificant to some ppl, but it made me feel like crap, and I never forgot it, so now whenever I get a compliment, like someone saying im beautiful (and it has actually happened) I question it, I can’t understand how ppl could think it about me, so I think they must have ulterior motives or something. When im having a particularly bad day, I dig up all the negative things ppl have said about me over the years, which ive stored up inside my head, and I contemplate them, and I make myself feel ten times worse. It makes me lose faith in humankind, that most ppl you meet are cruel and heartless.

But you cant think like that. You have to erase those negatives memories from your head and replace them with all the good things ppl have said about u. im sure there have been plenty, you’ve just never stopped to think about them. Next time someone pays u a compliment, imprint it in your memory, maybe even write it down, so that the next time someone is horrible to you, you can read it and remember that there are some nice ppl out there and that u are worth something. Try to think that for every negative remark made towards you, there are two positive ones waiting to happen. Don’t know if that will make u feel any better but I hope u do X
 

bluemoon

Member
Specula, i know what u mean...my friends are tired of telling me that i look fine but i just cant believe it. But I've decided to live life the way i want to...I can't let what others think ruin my life. I just gotta do with what God has given me. i feel so much better after ur posts. thanks everyone :D
 

mystery

Active member
I would say that bullies are part of the reason why I have SP. I remembered the day back when I used to cry quitely and no one would care. It hurts so bad, and you would think that someone grown up would help me. Not the teachers, not my parents, no one but one or two of my closest friends came to support me..

Maybe they thought that bullies are the norm of growing up. They would say to themselves that "Kids will be kids". Adults especially teachers and parents out there should really take things more seriously. I would rather be hit on the face and be forgotten about the pain in a month, than be called names, laughed, and jeered at.

The funny thing is... I just bump into one of my ex classmates that bullied me at primary school. He seems friendly, he smiled, I smile... Back in my mind, I could sense that he was sorry. I got the satisfaction that I am more successful than he is right now. Just remember, no one could make you feel bad about yourself but your own self.
 
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