Ugly

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Meow

Meow

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I am ugly and unnatractive. That is how I think about myself, I just got back from therapy and she said she see's a very attractive person, so did my medication doctor. And we're trying to get to the bottom of why I feel so damn ugly. Is there any good reason to justify this? No one has ever outright called me ugly (except one loser boy back in school years ago) No one has called me fat either. Infact the opposite, plenty of people have and do call me attractive so why am I so damn sure I am ugly.

Could I just be ugly and that be the bottom line, she seems to think this is a big issue for me and of course I hate feeling ugly and I don't like one single thing about myself physically BUT maybe I AM just ugly and that is that and there is no need to get into it.

I don't know, i'm confused. :cry:
 
Scottish_Player

Scottish_Player

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I think the more you think about it and the more you try to solve it , it will just keep getting at you, ive seen your pics and as you already know deep down you are an atractive woman, try not to make a big issue out of it, i know thats easier said than done.

Ive been called ugly before and it was more or less to my face, it bothered me for a bit but then i thought about it and its only someone elses opinion and nothing else.

When you get up in the morning just look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself how beautiful you are :wink: and make yourself belive it :D
 
S

shipost

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if you think your ugly make yourself nicer? not to hard.. sun beds, makeup etc.

thats what most girls do :wink:

i wouldnt worry over your looks though, no one looks at people and thinks shes not pretty.. you just wont get noticed unless your really HUGE and stink.
 
jayfan

jayfan

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shipost said:
if you think your ugly make yourself nicer? not to hard.. sun beds, makeup etc.

thats what most girls do :wink:

i wouldnt worry over your looks though, no one looks at people and thinks shes not pretty.. you just wont get noticed unless your really HUGE and stink.
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unless you want plastic surgery (had money but then if you had money why would you want surgery? ) you cant really fix your face if your ugly . no matter how good you take care of yourself.

i know how you feel meow except ive been told im ugly by alot of people.it really does bother me , ive never been approached by a member of the opposite sex and alot of my friends have. so i never really ask ppl if im ugly because i have a mirrror.
 
Meow

Meow

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shipost said:
if you think your ugly make yourself nicer? not to hard.. sun beds, makeup etc.

thats what most girls do :wink:

i wouldnt worry over your looks though, no one looks at people and thinks shes not pretty.. you just wont get noticed unless your really HUGE and stink.
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Sun beds give you cancer and I don't want a fake tan, or a tan at all thanks. And I do wear makeup. It's not about feeling superficially ugly, like what can I improve etc because I already do take care of myself. I just feel gross full stop. It's ok you don't get it.... lol
 
Meow

Meow

Well-known member
Scottish_Player said:
I think the more you think about it and the more you try to solve it , it will just keep getting at you, ive seen your pics and as you already know deep down you are an atractive woman, try not to make a big issue out of it, i know thats easier said than done.

Ive been called ugly before and it was more or less to my face, it bothered me for a bit but then i thought about it and its only someone elses opinion and nothing else.

When you get up in the morning just look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself how beautiful you are :wink: and make yourself belive it :D
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Thanks for your reply that actually made a lot of sense! I know deep down i'm not GROSS, I know a lot of men have liked me and girls have said i'm pretty BUT I just don't see it and it's hard to take those compliments.

I'm sorry someone or someones had the NERVE to call you ugly, i'm glad you didn't let it get to you too much but that p!sses me off :(

I have been trying something my therapist said, writing down one thing I like about myself physically daily but that's hard.
 
Meow

Meow

Well-known member
SongOfSongs said:
shipost said:
if you think your ugly make yourself nicer? not to hard.. sun beds, makeup etc.
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Actually, I think tans and makeup make girls less attractive.
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I agree to an extent. I don't tan, I know i'm white as hell and that's fine by me, I have clear skin so ok. I do wear SOME makeup but I don't cake myself in it to change how I look.

I thought his reply was a bit insensitive. Doing superficial things isn't going to change the core belief you have about yourself.
 
Funkymunky

Funkymunky

Well-known member
Stop being silly you big slice of babeness!.I bet if a stranger asked your boyfriend what he liked visually about you he'd alot to say.He looks very happy in the pic lol.

Maybe feeling ugly is just an external projection of your frustration with SP or something deeper rooted.No matter what compliments you recieve youll never be able to fully believe them untill whatever lies deeper is resolved.Also it might not help if you get hung up on it so much that you spend too much time looking in the mirror and over analyzing every little detail.Remember youve had the same face for years now and looking at it all the time probably makes you very used to it.Try going a long period of time without looking in the mirror.Then later just walk by quickly and have a small glance the way a stranger would.Then see what you think?.Hope some of this helps.

If not just go to the town hall or whatever and change your first name to sexy.Then everyone would have to permanently call you sexy lol.Worked for my friend Sexy McFeelmeup.
 
bluenow

bluenow

Well-known member
Maybe the media. Where do you find your definition of beauty? Do you look at your friends, family and others around you or do you look at magazine, movies, music and t.v.? Models and people in the movies are exceptional people and then even have lots of work done to make them better.
I don't see many people like that in my daily life.
 
SongOfSongs

SongOfSongs

Well-known member
Meow said:
I thought his reply was a bit insensitive.
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I'm sorry. What I meant was that what someone sees as unattractive, someone else may see as attractive. And vice versa. I apologize: I didn't mean to be insensitive.

But my post was entirely off the point. The point (the point I didn't put forward in my unnecessary post) is that physical appearance isn't the measure of a person.
 
IanM

IanM

Member
yep thats true, ive facnied women before just on there inner quality, she wasnt my type at all but her personality won me over, personality comes first and looks second.

yea i do think like has been mentioned, u wont be able to sort this out by people saying oh yes u are beautiful, not matter how many time this is mentioned it wont matter coz u have to believe it, okay its like u know yor a women, u dont think about it u just know, and this is where u want to be in this just knowing catergory, to be honest i dont know how u get there but i hope i might of given u a type of mentality to aim for, if u know wat i mean......anyway chin up and like people have said try not to think about it. :)
 
IanM

IanM

Member
meow yor NOT ugly, just saw yor pic in the picture thread. you ve got nothing to worry about. :)
 
corsa

corsa

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ditto, you're not ugly. I'd say you have above average looks, and you should be enjoying them!
 
Meow

Meow

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Well maybe gorgeous people don't know they're gorgeous and have self hate.

No, there is nothing wrong with being "ugly" or what someone would call ugly. But personally I HATE having low self esteem and not being able to find one physical thing I like about myself, you've got no right to say I can't feel that way because someones going to get pissed off with it, or you already are.

This board is for support and I posted this message for SUPPORT because I am struggling with hating my appearence and unlike some people I can not come to terms with it.

You don't know what in my life may have caused this, you don't know exactly what I suffer from. So if you're not going to be supportive and just be a b!tch then FUCK OFF and don't post in this thread.

PS. When I said you could be jealous, I didn't mean of my looks I meant jealous of the fact some people feel comfortable enough to post their pictures and somewhow it scared you and offended you, which is ridiculous. That came across as jealousy to me.
 
Meow

Meow

Well-known member
Ahhhh so many thoughtful and nice replies so i'll adress them in one go! lol.

FunkyMunky, thanks for the thoughtful ideas!

BlueNow, that's a really good thought about the media, I think since moving to America from the UK that's definately had an affect one me, there are a lot of prettier and skinnier girls here and on the TV.

Here&Now, I definatley think it's a good thing to work on with my therapist also, I think its for sure a self confidence thing and I hope to fix it. Thanks for the links! I know my hubby finds me attractive, he always says im pretty and cute but I guess i'd like to be thought of as sexy and hot too.

Singofsongs, I didn't mean you when I said about being insensitive, don't worry. Your post was fine and I agreed ;)

IanM, you're right I have to believe it it doesn't matter how many times people tell me and that's what's so hard. Thanks for the advice!

You guys are great!
 
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