Truth hurts

salmakia

New member
Hello, I'm Claire, I'm 23 and from Edinburgh. I thought as my first post I would tell you all how I came to be here - it seems as good a place to start as any.

I was at work yesterday and me and the guy I work with were due to have our performance reviews. He went first and was gone for like an hour, and when he came back he told me that half of the time was spent talking about me. In particular the manager saying that she thought I am totally incapable of dealing with anything involving other people and that basically I am a huge joke - he TOLD me this. Then he said that I have a reputation for being silent and awkward and that half the people who work there had said to him they don't even bother with me anymore because I am such a waste of time.

I don't think he was being malicious in telling me this, I think he thought it would be a big part of my meeting and was trying to prepare me. (It wasn't mentioned. AT ALL.) But I suppose I knew all of that anyway, I'd be stupid not to guess that other people might hate being around me because I am so awkward and quiet. But thinking it MIGHT be true is so different than being told, actually yes, people do dislike you - they told me so.

So I spent the night crying and hating myself and wishing he had never told me and wishing that I knew how to be any other way. And then I looked on the internet so see if there were other people like this - like me - or whether I really was just a freak.

And then I found all of you. And now I feel much better.
(except I am quite nervous making this post because I have never done it before - anywhere)
 

Bexi

Well-known member
Firstly-What a cock of a boss!
Secondly, im glad you found this site too!
Thirdly, I think it is totally unprofessional of your boss to bitch in this was to a collegue of yours, about what she thinks your weaknesses are.
It must have been harsh hearing that kind of talk from him :(
Being shy and quiet does not make someone awkward, and I hope you know that you arer not a waste of space or time. I feel really angry that some people can be so insensitive :evil: Bex=angry
I Hope you find this site helpful, and get to know the ppl here, as theyre all real decent and understanding xxxxxxx
 

redlady

Well-known member
Hi salmakia - first of all i would like to give you a big smiley sunshine open arm welcome and say that i am glad you found us too :D
Good grief that would have been awful to go through that - i'm sorry for the pain it caused you. I know things like this are not easy to believe and it is a whole hell of a lot easier to internalise everything as being your fault and failure - but jesus christ - the only waste of space are people who have the sheer arogance to say something like that. Shy and awkward does not equal waste of space my friend. And any hate towards you is all about them and has nothing to do with you. I'm sorry that you are surrounded by such people - but please remember that their attitude is theirs and like i said before has nothing to do with you.
 

salmakia

New member
Yeah I know. I told my sister and my parents tonight (it was my dad's birthday and we were in a fancy resturant) and they were all outraged. My dad was fuming and swearing loudly. I get a report thing back from the manager and I'm supposed to add my comments or whatever, and they said I should say how her comments were brought to my attention and how unprofessional it was and stuff because it all goes on file. I don't know. I'll see what happens.

The stupid thing is, the manager is an incompetent piece of shit boss who can't cope with the simplest question if she is already doing something. And she's always "too busy" even when she's just shuffling paper around.
She's a bitch. I hate her.
 

Boundless

Well-known member
Hello and welcome to the forums,feel free to say what you like on here we are all in the same boat so to speak,and your work mates sounds awfull and your boss doesnt even deserve the time of day as far as im concerned,im not sure if i would be happy or mad that the person told me this..i pesonaly would confront the boss and make them feal very awkward them selves!
 

Bexi

Well-known member
I think you should comment on how unprofessional this woman is/was to you, because It may help future employees, as well as urself? x
 

redlady

Well-known member
salmakia wrote:

The stupid thing is, the manager is an incompetent piece of shit boss who can't cope with the simplest question if she is already doing something. And she's always "too busy" even when she's just shuffling paper around.
She's a bitch. I hate her.

And that is exactly why she said those things - even if she wont admit it she knows just how incompitent she is - i guess it is pretty handy for someone like that to have a target she can drag down in an attempt to pull herself up. As long as you look like the one who doesn't know what they are doing noone will be looking at her. PATHETIC!
 

paul

Well-known member
Welcome to the forums -- I was nervous when I first started posting here too, but it's hard to keep being nervous, everyone's so friendly here.

I think that your boss should burn in hell! :) I hate it when there's an authority figure who is mean but doesn't seem to get any consequences. Where's karma when you need it, really? It seems like she has problems with shy people that's more of a problem with her, not you. Why somebody wouldn't like shy people is beyond me -- however me and very many other people have good reasons to hate bitchy bosses who don't like shy people.
I would have felt very sad if that was said about me too, I can't stand it when people don't like me either. Your boss is just a bitch. Let's hope she dies an agonizing death. :D

And as for this topic title, it really should be lies hurt, what she said to you isn't your problem, the fact that she's a worthless asshole is the truth here ;)
 

wutnow

Well-known member
Sounds like a 'heads-up' to me. Maybe your boss told the other person those things because they knew the person would pass it onto you. I'd take it as a 'warning shot' and not get too worried about it.

To me, it's like a second chance.

Show those people at work that you are indeed valuable and that any time spent with you will be nothing but helpful and productive, because that is what ultimeately is true :D .

You're certainly valuable. Show them.

I hope I haven't trivialized your situation.
 
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