Why is this bothering me so much?

WishingICould

Well-known member
Another girl at work was wearing the same hoodie as me today. When she saw me she said "this is so embarrassing". I honestly didn't know what she was going on about so i asked her and she said "we're wearing the same top". I was like "how is that embarrassing?" and she just smiled and laughed. I honestly don't get how that could be embarrassing. It sort of upset me the way she looked at me. I don't understand other women at all.

People have told me just to ignore them and that they're just jealous when they comment on my weight etc I'm quite tall (5'7) and slim and they've asked if i eat and things like that, which i found rude. I just felt really upset about it. It's like she thinks it's terrible to be wearing the same top as me and doesn't want to be associated with me. Like i'm some kind of freak. I really wish they'd give me a chance but most of the women there seem to dislike me. I hate feeling like an outsider. I haven't felt this bad for a while.
 
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Lowlight

Well-known member
From my understanding, which is very limited when it comes to these things, it is sort of like a cultural expression.

It wasn’t the fact that YOU were wearing the same top; it was the fact that there was ANYONE wearing the same top. I don’t think she meant that she was embarrassed to be associated with you specifically. I don’t know for sure because I’m not familiar with you or her, but I have heard women who like each other say that sort of thing from time to time when they wear similar clothing.
 

Srijita52

Well-known member
I'm really sorry, but I agree with others maybe it has nothing to do with you. Maybe she just doesn't like the idea of wearning the same top as anyone else. I never get the point but some people I know are obsessed over such things. I hope you feel better soon.
 

coyote

Well-known member
i would wager that SHE finds it embarrassing because you look better in the hoodie than she does

based on her comments about your weight, it sounds like she is jealous of you and your appearance
 

Lamb

Well-known member

=/ what makes you think that isn't true?

I'm sorry you deal with those types of women at work. I find that many women like to take jabs at others, whether it's intentional or they're just messing around. The weight comments have to do with envy, trust me.
 

jaim38

Well-known member
I'm a girl but sometimes, I'm baffled by my own gender. It's ok for guys to wear the same shirts but somehow, it's not ok for girls to wear the same outfit. I've even heard of some celebrities going as far as shopping abroad so that they don't get caught wearing the same outfit as another celebrity. In high school, I know this one girl who wears different clothes almost everyday. She told the guys that after she wears a shirt, she throws it in her closet and will not wear it again. The guys were baffled by this, as was I. This girl must have loads of money to spend.
 

WishingICould

Well-known member
I'm sure they look at me funny when speaking to me. It's like they're looking me up and down. I know i shouldn't let it bother me but my mind works overtime when people make any sort of comment. They think i'm a loser because i don't go out every night drinking like them and i'm quiet. I also got called stuck up because i don't smile enough.
 
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Klonoa

Well-known member
People have told me just to ignore them and that they're just jealous when they comment on my weight etc I'm quite tall (5'7) and slim and they've asked if i eat and things like that, which i found rude. I just felt really upset about it. It's like she thinks it's terrible to be wearing the same top as me and doesn't want to be associated with me. Like i'm some kind of freak. I really wish they'd give me a chance but most of the women there seem to dislike me. I hate feeling like an outsider. I haven't felt this bad for a while.

You sound pretty. :)

To be honest, I'm not sure, but what you say I've seen it a lot in american movies and tv shows, girls seem to hate that another girl is dressed exactly like them, either by coincidence or design or EVEN color. :sad:

Yer not a freak. :3 Is just people nowadays are very selfish and want to make themselves feel above others.

It was quite.... interesting, I studied most of my career over here in Mexico but when I went study in the US a semester, I even saw 2 american girls fight because they had the same dress one night. I couldn't understand it.
 
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ImNotMyIllness

Well-known member
From my understanding, which is very limited when it comes to these things, it is sort of like a cultural expression.

It wasn’t the fact that YOU were wearing the same top; it was the fact that there was ANYONE wearing the same top. I don’t think she meant that she was embarrassed to be associated with you specifically. I don’t know for sure because I’m not familiar with you or her, but I have heard women who like each other say that sort of thing from time to time when they wear similar clothing.

This is a cultural expression. She was being friendly and cracking a joke! You took it completely wrong!
 

DeadmanWalking

Well-known member
I'm sure they look at me funny when speaking to me. It's liking they're looking me up and down. I know i shouldn't let it bother me but my mind works overtime when people make any sort of comment. They think i'm a loser because i don't go out every night drinking like them and i'm quiet. I also got called stuck up because i don't smile enough.

Well, if women are looking you up and down, it's probably because they're sizing you up, comparing themselves to you. From what I've heard and seen of women, a good bit of them always compare their bodies to other females. It's sorta similar to the "alpha male" phenomenon in that women want to feel superior (prettier) than another and try to find ways to prove that they are. Anyway, you shouldn't let it bother you:). As others have said, it's a fashion faux pas for two women in the immediate area to wear the same piece(s) of clothing. So the other girl was just checking you out and seeing how the hoodie was working for you.

As for the stuck-up comment, that's something people like us receive a lot. Since it's "normal" for humans to be sociable, when one isn't, people can take that as the person feeling "superior" or "above them". It's just a lot of things that you really don't have any control over, so don't blame yourself:). Just be yourself.
 

cocorose

Well-known member
I don't know what kind of person she is, or in what way she said that it was embarrassing.. but if she was really upset about it, it sounds like she is immature.. I would have laughed and found humor in the situation. That is one reason I don't have many girl friends. :)
 
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