Kathryn
Well-known member
I know that some of you might tell me to start a diary, but I think that I should definately tell someone about this.
I think about suicide every second of the day. Everything I see is shrouded in darkness; and when I barely look at people in the face, it makes me feel even worse.
I come home to nothing. My father drives me home from school, and when I talk in the car, he almost never talks back. I love my dad(even after finding his porn on my computer)...but everyone in my immediate family is cold and boring. As a result, I have become as lifeless and boring as they are....and.sometimes my mind turns to mush from the strain/
I do the same thing every day: I hesitate to do work it class, because I can sense all the eyes in the room watching me. When I go home, I study my ass off, go for a depressing bike ride and then release my pain in the internet and a hot shower.
My parents act like I barely exist. Besides saying hi and bye to one another, our conversations are as dry as sand. It's no surprise why my sister started doing drugs.
There's literally no love between anyone in this family. We're never spoken to, commended or parented in any way. They have shown no interest in my life: they never ask me how my day was or who I "spoke to".
I've told them of my anxiety, and they sent me to a counselor(it took a lot for me to coax them to do even that), but I still suffer. When I told them of my thoughts on suicide, they shrugged me off and said "you'll be fine," and that was the end of it.
We're all like worms: birthed into the world without any planning or desire for our existence. We're all ****ed up sons of bitches who ignore one another.
So it's no surprise why I hate life, loath every aspect of this family and cringe at the human race.
I think about suicide every second of the day. Everything I see is shrouded in darkness; and when I barely look at people in the face, it makes me feel even worse.
I come home to nothing. My father drives me home from school, and when I talk in the car, he almost never talks back. I love my dad(even after finding his porn on my computer)...but everyone in my immediate family is cold and boring. As a result, I have become as lifeless and boring as they are....and.sometimes my mind turns to mush from the strain/
I do the same thing every day: I hesitate to do work it class, because I can sense all the eyes in the room watching me. When I go home, I study my ass off, go for a depressing bike ride and then release my pain in the internet and a hot shower.
My parents act like I barely exist. Besides saying hi and bye to one another, our conversations are as dry as sand. It's no surprise why my sister started doing drugs.
There's literally no love between anyone in this family. We're never spoken to, commended or parented in any way. They have shown no interest in my life: they never ask me how my day was or who I "spoke to".
I've told them of my anxiety, and they sent me to a counselor(it took a lot for me to coax them to do even that), but I still suffer. When I told them of my thoughts on suicide, they shrugged me off and said "you'll be fine," and that was the end of it.
We're all like worms: birthed into the world without any planning or desire for our existence. We're all ****ed up sons of bitches who ignore one another.
So it's no surprise why I hate life, loath every aspect of this family and cringe at the human race.