Why don't sp girls date sp guys?

[sullen89]

SP girls always date normal guys leaving us to suffer in our loneliness.
It is the same with immigrant women and handicapped women.

 

[licentious]

SP girls always date normal guys leaving us to suffer in our loneliness.
It is the same with immigrant women and handicapped women.

have u tried retarted woman, bhppy? =P

 

[sullen89]

I don't like the term "retarded". It is mean spirited. George Bush is learning disabled so don't be so judgemental.

 

[Anonymous]

They don't need to date us. Unless they care about honesty, quality of life, and having heartfelt communication with partners. Plus, a really feminine woman is inherently shy, so a really shy girl might think she is just being feminine; thats what gender roles do to people. I'm done acting like a silent man just to look strong...

 

[Adam]

They don't need to date us. Unless they care about honesty.....

Do you really think that having social phobia makes you more honest?

 

[ann]

sp girls marry sp guys

I can't imagine how hard it must be for SP people to find someone to share their lives with. I am so thankful that my husband and I found one another very early in life--high school. But we were unaware that we had a condition--we just thought we different from everyone else and we just accepted it and went on with our lives. If we hadn't fallen in love so young I don't even want to imagine what life would be like now. But I can't help thinking there must be hope. Another person with SP understands you in a way no one else can. But you may produce children with the same thing--we did. One child came out perfectly normal and the other has very bad SP. Just don't give up. :!:

ann

 

[Tris]

i dont think that women with SA are out looking for someone with it too, why would you wanna be with someone who had the same problem? wouldnt you wanna be with someone who wasnt like you, that way you would be able to learn from them? i think if 2 people with SA were in a relationship together, the problem would never get resolved.

 

[neddy]

Some couples who have similar problems can often support each other with their problems. With someone like me who is unable to go out alone (got no friends) don't like clubs or pubs as they make me feel very insecure it is very difficult to meet people of the opposite sex. I am very introverted and I personally find that someone with a good sense of humor and is very extroverted helps to bring me out of my shell.

 

[sullen89]

Tris, that really does not address the inequity of sp guys being left out.

 

[Tris]

your right it doesnt, but you said something about SP girls not dating SP guys...and SP girls are just as left out....I just wish we could all break out, and i wish there was an answer to everything, but there's not

 

[sullen89]

SP girls are not left out. That was my whole point. I guess you are teasing me. I will have nightmares about this tonight.

 

[Adam]

i think if 2 people with SA were in a relationship together, the problem would never get resolved.

I totaly disagree with you, that's like saying two people with broken arms shouldn't date because they will never heal. Everyone with social phobia has goals, and every time one person reaches thiers you could learn from it, "she met her goal so maybe I can meet mine the same way" and vice versa. I would think that it would be great to have a significant other with SP just because the could understand what you are going through like noone else can, one of the hardest things for me is that noone that I know in person has any idea what it's all about, and even after expalining it the still don't get it, you can never know unless you've been there.

 

[symbiosis]

I don't think you can generalise about anything, let alone dating and relationships! I may be unusual but I don't like overly confident men - my boyfriend also has SP and is a lovely person. Yes, it can be tough at times both having it, but overall its a positive experience. It's the person that matters, not what condition they have or haven't got

Anyway, that's my two cents worth.....

 

[Orlando]

Hi everyone!

Let me put my two cents in (that's about how valuable it is!)

Life isn't fair. There is an equality. In many cultures, men typically lead first. Maybe, the girls with SP don't even know that you like them because you haven't made introduced yourself or told her that you're interested in getting to know her. Oh well, that is our burden.

Sullen, I don't think you should close your option and just seek to go out with girls with SP? What makes you think that these are the only girls you are compatible with?

 

[Anonymous]

Hi, Orlando.

I know what you are trying to say but what is wrong with dating girls with SP? :?

 

[Orlando]

Hi, Guest.

There is nothing wrong with it. I'm just saying that just because we (men or women) have social phobia we don't have to date people with social phobia. It might seem logical because "they will understand what I go through." ......but I don't believe that argument because...if the other person loves/cares for you they will go out of their way to accept you (try to understand you) no matter what disorder you have....I don't want to pick a girl because she has the same disorder as I do...I want to pick a girl because she loves me too? I dunno....That's what I think.

 

[Elkapath]

ive never met a good looking shy guy but if i did i would date him we could always get pissed on the week end so we would talk for hours :lol:

 

[Anonymous]

my 2 cents:

I'm a "good-looking shy guy" who once lived with a girl with SP... SP worse than mine ("fair to moderate SP," methinks I'm more lightly touched than perhaps 70% of the folks here). We were also both depressed, apathetic, passive... it worked out fabulously for a year, and then we just got sick of seeing our problems perfectly reflected in each other... if, say, i was annoyed at her for not wanting to call the pizza place to order, I couldn't feel justified in that as I understand where she's coming from--and probably was avoiding making the call myself!! So I'd end up annoyed at myself...

I usually end up in relationships with outgoing women who have stronger personalities... but that has problems too (they don't understand my SP, lack of confidence, insecurity, fear of being rejected by them--the reason I'm bad at communicating...).

I just found this site yesterday-- it's great!

 

[Regal70]

It might be hard for two people with SP to meet in the first place. If both are shy and do not talk, it is going to be hard for them to ever meet in the first place. And if they do meet, someone has to make a first move, which, again, can be hard for people with SP. Overall, I think the girls with SP might have it a bit easier with relationships (initially anyway), because it is not as expected for the woman to lead and be assertive. Once in the relationship, though, I do not know though who has it easier!

 

[Anonymous]

It might be hard for two people with SP to meet in the first place. If both are shy and do not talk, it is going to be hard for them to ever meet in the first place. And if they do meet, someone has to make a first move, which, again, can be hard for people with SP. Overall, I think the girls with SP might have it a bit easier with relationships (initially anyway), because it is not as expected for the woman to lead and be assertive. Once in the relationship, though, I do not know though who has it easier!

The main thing you have to remember is that Social Phobia and Shyness are two, totally seperate things. It's one thing to be shy; it's quite another to be socially phobic. I personally find women who are more reserved and shy to be more attractive and alluring than outgoing, loud and overly-confident women. I don't think I've ever been around a true socially phobic woman(although you never can tell). I can definately see how two social phobics would have difficulty meeting one another. I consider myself to have a more mild case of social phobia, and that causes enough problems in and of itself..