Why do we want romantic love?

[A friend]

Hello everybody! I am back (haven't been on because of wireless internet problems) after a long dissapearance.


I come tonight asking a question: why are human beings forced to want to have romantic love?

For me...I want to have romantic love because I'm being forced from something inside of my brain (AND I HATE IT, the need for love).

My friend told me that people want to have love because they have hearts...and if that's the case...then should we become heartless people?

Tell me what you think (and please don't quote what I wrote above the sentence!)

 

[Deus_Ex_Lemur]

Why are human beings forced to live at all? Sorry to be blunt and an ahole response (really). But I mean... why do we have a need for any social and collectivity? It can be explained biologically, scientifically, but there's more to it, ergo why this stuff's (like love) has been written about as old as writing itself practically. =) So I dont have an answer other than its a deeper need that when love is TRULY found - and mutually expressed - you have your real answer.

 

[A friend]

Why are human beings forced to live at all? Sorry to be blunt and an ahole response (really). But I mean... why do we have a need for any social and collectivity? It can be explained biologically, scientifically, but there's more to it, ergo why this stuff's written about as old as writing itself practically. =) So I dont have an answer other than its a deeper need that when love is TRULY found - and mutually expressed - you have your real answer.

....

Uh...okay...

Not to be stupid, but that didn't really make sense...at all.

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

How are you defining romantic love?

 

[A friend]

How are you defining romantic love?

An evil curse that makes people from the opposite genders have the need to be in a romantic relationship.

And if we don't have a girlfriend/wife (boyfriend/husband for the ladies), we'll be miserable forever...

Fortunately, Kiwong has freed himself from this...I envy that guy.

 

[A friend]

I just think it's pure evil to force people to want something that they can never have.

 

[A friend]

That is a very eschewed misconception.

Are you talking about how love is evil, or people being miserable forever because they don't have love?

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

An evil curse that makes people from the opposite genders have the need to be in a romantic relationship.

You're still leaving the 'romantic' part a bit fuzzy, but you seem to be referring to what is commonly known as 'true love', 'falling in love' etc.

It's a series of biochemical reactions, the ultimate purpose of which is to get a mated pair to stay together long enough so that the offspring is no longer utterly helpless, thus increasing its chance of survival greatly. That's why the reactions taper off after a couple of years, and it's why most relationships don't last. The thrill of 'being in love' goes away.

Is this what you really need in order to be happy?

 

[A friend]

You're still leaving the 'romantic' part a bit fuzzy, but you seem to be referring to what is commonly known as 'true love', 'falling in love' etc.

It's a series of biochemical reactions, the ultimate purpose of which is to get a mated pair to stay together long enough so that the offspring is no longer utterly helpless, thus increasing its chance of survival greatly. That's why the reactions taper off after a couple of years, and it's why most relationships don't last. The thrill of 'being in love' goes away.

Is this what you really need in order to be happy?

It's either that or anti-depression pills.

 

[A friend]

I could be wrong though....

 

[userremoved]

You're still leaving the 'romantic' part a bit fuzzy, but you seem to be referring to what is commonly known as 'true love', 'falling in love' etc.

It's a series of biochemical reactions, the ultimate purpose of which is to get a mated pair to stay together long enough so that the offspring is no longer utterly helpless, thus increasing its chance of survival greatly. That's why the reactions taper off after a couple of years, and it's why most relationships don't last. The thrill of 'being in love' goes away.

Is this what you really need in order to be happy?

I couldn't agree more. I don't think its as mystical as people make it out to be. What you're dealing with my friend is the basic instincts that come with being a human. We make it out to be some magical force but its the product of ages of evolution and it works pretty good and getting people to copulate if you ask me. Otherwise we wouldn't have anything to do with each other and the species would have died out long long ago.

 

[ilovehim]

i don't know fml.

 

[coyote]

everything worth doing comes with a price

with love comes pain

you can maintain a pain-free existence by eschewing love

but i think you're missing out on one of the best parts of life

 

[A friend]

Heh, I'm not even in a relationship and I'm already experiencing pain from love.

 

[BlueDays]

I think the media has a huge part in promoting it as a utopian "Fairytale".
Big business wants us to couple up and produce more consumers.

 

[Kiwong]

Not to be loved, or even liked, just to fit in. That is my desire, to feel that I belong. I love being liked, and maybe even respected a little. Feeling I belong to something positive really makes me feel good.

That is enough for me, I can't imagine anyone being interested in me romantically, and I reckon that if I were to become romantically involved with someone, then this could create complications that I have no idea how to deal with. I have enough trouble getting along with myself, and being able to fit in and relate to the world of people on a purely platonic basis.

 

[coyote]

it feels good cuddling someone..

yep - makes even the worst days seem like heaven

totally worth it

 

[Deus_Ex_Lemur]

And so what I said really made no sense? It's something you must experience - which in part makes it more confusing - but whatever science can explain it only goes so far in understanding the "why"; as - emotion trumps explanation. Thoughts create emotion, and experience forms thoughts. The philosophical "debate" is not the science really, it's the motive behind the science. Species can procreate without "love", but why "love"? Those deeper feelings that go beyond procreation - I don't know. I often drift in thought. I was more pondering than trying to answer.

It's a question asked throughout much of recorded time - but I repeat myself more confusingly now =D

 

[IGotSeoul]

Love is best described as a type of affection produced in the human brain, particularly the limbic system in a mass of serotonin and oxytocin.

I do not believe that humans are instinctively meant to be faithful, among other sentiments that our idea of love harbours. However, being social and adaptive creatures we're expected to and, for the most part, do adapt to proper behaviour within our social and cultural norms. Thus, romantic love through our definition may vary and is within a social cosmos of its own.

I believe, biologically, humans love because it counterbalances death and mortality, finitude and inevitable limit. Through the psyche, anxiety of the above and things in relation are all overcompensated by love.

 

[A friend]

Not to be loved, or even liked, just to fit in. That is my desire, to feel that I belong. I love being liked, and maybe even respected a little. Feeling I belong to something positive really makes me feel good.

That is enough for me, I can't imagine anyone being interested in me romantically, and I reckon that if I were to become romantically involved with someone, then this could create complications that I have no idea how to deal with. I have enough trouble getting along with myself, and being able to fit in and relate to the world of people on a purely platonic basis.

I apologize if I sound mentally ill, but I'm going to post this anyways:

A while ago, I recall you saying that being single is not a disease in need of a cure...

Very true.

What is the disease that needs to be cured? Romantic love/true love/whatever you call it.

I think life would be better if somebody made some sort of machine that could be used to reproduce human beings, and that way men/women wouldn't have to strain themselves or be depressed because they constantly get rejected throughout the course of their lifetimes.

But that wasn't the point of me starting this thread, the point was to figure out why people want to be in relationships and all that pointless stuff.

The answer lies within chemicals in the brain and body, and with that in mind, one day medication/drugs can be invented to stop this from torturing people, and we will all be free.

Of course, eliminating love can't clog all the sources of depression, but I consider being single to be a large cause (not the largest) of depression among most human beings.

So with the invention of that sort of drug, I'm sure that a lot of people can live happier lives (especially for those who are unpopular in the dating world).