Why do I feel like I have given up finding a girlfriend?

greggy

Well-known member
Hey beautiful peeps, ok this may sound like a rant but its not, I was out on my birthday with my cousin yesturday and we had a good time, however I noticed that girls were giving him a lot of attension and me nothing! I was sat next to a girl who I found very attractive and thought I'd like to speak to her, but I just could'nt do it. I know my self confidance has gone very low but I feel like I have to give up now, it's jst too difficult! It seems like girls just ignore me.

I'm not asking for lots of girl friends just 1 will do!
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Ah know the feelin', mate... :sad:

Sounds like you need to boast yer self-confidence. Ah get quite nervous wi' lassies that ah find attractive as well... So yer not alone in that regard. But wimmin take mair notice of a guy that seems confident as opposed to one that isn't. Jist sayin'...
 

greggy

Well-known member
Ah know the feelin', mate... :sad:

Sounds like you need to boast yer self-confidence. Ah get quite nervous wi' lassies that ah find attractive as well... So yer not alone in that regard. But wimmin take mair notice of a guy that seems confident as opposed to one that isn't. Jist sayin'...

Hey man, You are so right that women notice confident guys, So Is there no hope for unconfident guys then?
 

Richey

Well-known member
The simple answer is this....

You need to work on yourself, forget about relationships for now, be open to the opportunity of meeting new people however realise that in order to attract others you need to literally like yourself alot first.

This means building your own life. An example is to partake in lots of hobbies, exercise, find passions in music, sport, education that are genuine. Keep busy living life, go travelling, read books, educate yourself...thats is how you build character...

You learn to be witty by living a busy life, because you then have stories, you interact wih lots of people and you learn how to interact..sort of.

So the key is for you to love yourself first and to be your own friend first.

Notice a few things from people with friends and in relationships and who live active lives. Often they aren't self conscious, they are not inhibited, they arent anxious and they have built tough skin from just trying and being optimistic about challenges...

So, that is the key. To build yourself character first...keep busy, work on yourself.

Then making friends or finding relationships becomes wayyyyyyy easier.
 
Last edited:

greggy

Well-known member
The simple answer is this....

You need to work on yourself, forget about relationships for now, be open to the opportunity of meeting new people however realise that in order to attract others you need to literally like yourself alot first.

This means building your own life. An example is to partake in lots of hobbies, exercise, find passions in music, sport, education that are genuine. Keep busy living life, go travelling, read books, educate yourself...thats is how you build character...

You learn to be witty by living a busy life, because you then have stories, you interact wih lots of people and you learn how to interact..sort of.

So the key is for you to love yourself first and to be your own friend first.




Notice a few things from people with friends and in relationships and who live active lives. Often they aren't self conscious, they are not inhibited, they arent anxious and they have built tough skin from just trying and being optimistic about challenges...

So, that is the key. To build yourself character first...keep busy, work on yourself.

Then making friends or finding relationships becomes wayyyyyyy easier.


thank you, you are so right but it just sucks being alone.
 

Haluk

Member
I m in the same boat as you..I wrote a wise saying."you need yourself more than anyone else."or "you need yourself more than a girl". I hope you understand what I'm saying.. thank you :)
 
Last edited:

Metal_isthe_Answer

Well-known member
I've given up on women too, now whenever I talk to someone I don't try to be polite or anything, I talk to them the way I would talk to one of my close friends. So that's my advice, don't over think trying to find the right thing to say, talk to them the way you would talk to a close friend.
 
Last edited:

Kiwong

Well-known member
Greggy, the fact you had a good time with your cousin is the thing to focus on. Focus on the good, not on the one girl you couldn't talk to. With practice of talking to people, you will get to the point where you are able to talk to a girl. Don't let your anxious mind make you give up.
 

Metal_isthe_Answer

Well-known member
If only there was a way to match up all these lonely guys and these lonely girls. In theory dating sites sound perfect but most people unfortunately seem to have poor experiences on them.

Yeah, it just seemed to me they said "hey you two are single, go at it!"
And I'm sitting here wondering why I label myself as someone who doesn't drink and I get matched up with people who drink to heavily for my taste
 

PugofCrydee

You want to know how I got these scars?
I traveled to the city for a couple of days recently to buy new furnishings, really the 1st time as a single guy in a long time. I noticed (I'm in no way saying I'm having girls hitting on me here) that a lot of girls gave me 'that' smile, friendly direct eye contact, I even had some very friendly comments which I thought 'wow, is this girl flirting with me? Or am I just imagining it?..'
I found some of these girls very attractive.
But..
1) I've learnt I'd rather find someone with who I match up with in the mind first, sort of on the same wave length if you get my meaning.
2) I seem to get this feeling that.. ok, she may find me attractive, but once we spend some time together, she'll find me boring, unexciting, boring..did I mention boring?

In a nutshell, I don't think I'm good enough for anyone. There's nothing wrong with the people I'm talking about. It's me. Life is so much better when you get to share things with that someone special, but I think I'm doomed to be alone from here on.
 

Richey

Well-known member
That always happens to me...

I attract a very chatty girl that likes me, ultimately they lose interest and usually find someone with more traits and someone more fun, better looking etc...

It has happened five times to me even though i do instigate days out and i do keep interested, they just seem to want to move on to their next catch...

I attract heartbreakers.

As you say, i have to find someone that can channel me or who is a proper match, not just anyone.

Which is not easy.
 

emptybench

Well-known member
I attract a very chatty girl that likes me, ultimately they lose interest and usually find someone with more traits and someone more fun, better looking etc...

And I attract overconfident creepy guys. Really scary. And by creepy I'm not saying they are ugly (one wasn't) but that they talk like rapists. Don't know why this happens. Maybe because I have a chronic RBF.
 

Kiwong

Well-known member
I feel the same way Pug, if someone smiles at me, or looks at me, I still am more inclined to believe that they are making fun of me. I guess this is a hangover from high school. I have heard some positive comments about my appearance since I transformed myself through running.

I fear attraction because it's never led anywhere positive in my life. And I know if I was to enter a relationship my failings would become more than obvious.

What I miss is good company sometimes. My sister was here last week and I enjoyed her company.
 

PugofCrydee

You want to know how I got these scars?
I feel the same way Pug, if someone smiles at me, or looks at me, I still am more inclined to believe that they are making fun of me. I guess this is a hangover from high school. I have heard some positive comments about my appearance since I transformed myself through running.

I fear attraction because it's never led anywhere positive in my life. And I know if I was to enter a relationship my failings would become more than obvious.

What I miss is good company sometimes. My sister was here last week and I enjoyed her company.

Yes that's what I meant when I said 'on the same wave length'. :thumbup:
Sometimes I struggle to get my meaning across, but yea, that's it.
Just someone who wants to share company, and talk about the small things that happen in daily life and hopefully plan together those more exciting times too.
 

Kiwong

Well-known member
Yes that's what I meant when I said 'on the same wave length'. :thumbup:
Sometimes I struggle to get my meaning across, but yea, that's it.
Just someone who wants to share company, and talk about the small things that happen in daily life and hopefully plan together those more exciting times too.

That feeling of connection when on the same wavelength is a real buzz, Pug. Maybe someone to share the adventure.
 

drganon

Well-known member
I seem to attract stalkcreepweirdopervs all the time.

Unfortunately, I attract no one. No one has ever approached me for a date in real life or online. Add in the fact that I'm shy and afraid of rejection, I've got myself a recipe for permanent bachelorhood.
 
Top