What's the point anymore?

[Klonoa]

(This IS NOT a thread about suicide, kthx.)

*sigh*

WHERE to begin...?

What's the point anymore?

What's the point of living? If, by the time the sun rises over the heals and sand starts to heat up, I'll once more be not a slave of daily life only, a prisioner inside my own home... Prisioners under the fist of bandits who keeps us all in fear...

What's the point of dying? Why suicide? Aren't we dead already?

We are dead inside?

We are the dead?

My depression is getting worse, I can't keep my cheerful façade up as easly as I could before, I feel empty, I feel lonely...

I feel I'll simply die old and alone, and nobody will give a damn.

Hey, anyone sees black-and-white movies? Remember how idealistic love seemed?

Do you remember love?

Who'da think reality would punch me in the face and get left or cheated on several, several times.

Good guy finishes last? I think so. Or maybe never at all.

What does the world expects me to be? "Never change", they say.

But what I am, is not what anyone or everyone is looking for. I'm just... there.

This depression is killing me further.

I sleep, but not rest.

I wake up in the dark of the night, I cant help it but hold my pillow and shed a few quick silent tears, feeling my own self-inflicted misery stabbing me. In the chest. Like a pointy icicle.

I can't talk to anyone close about my problems, I only get judged, I should simply suck it up, obsessing, or other accusations.

I feel misery, I feel envy, I feel sheer, unaltered rage.

I want to scream, I want to punch something...

... I want a hug...

...

I guess all I can afford is one of these:

Good enough, I guess.

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

Klonoa don't drink your sorrows away, that will only lead to alcoholism and worse problems. You're a really great guy. Eventually, you'll find someone. You may have to do online dating and your future spouse may not even be living in your country (if it's hard to meet a girl where you live). Try Shy Passions - 100% Free Social Networking for Shy Singles .

Hang in there!

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

Start looking for a girl and work on yourself. Maybe sit ups, so you can impress the ladies with your rock hard six pack. Get in shape. Eat better.
Even read a stupid "how to pick up women" book, never tried that myself, but don't let pride stand in the way. There's tons of information out there. Seek it out, use what works and disregard the rest. Try to accomplish things to raise your self esteem which in turn will boost your confidence.

 

[MikeyC]

I was going to reply, but I would just be echoing ImNotMyIllness. Great advice there.

I particularly agree with eating better and working out. You'll feel better after only a couple of days, I promise.

 

[Klonoa]

I appreciate it, I really do.

I already workout and trying to eat as healthy as possible with my limited budget, but its not really helping much to the point of exasperation.

It's... a combination of different problems. The drug war, family aguing every single damn day, lack of someone to at least have a moment of blissness and happiness and fun. >__<

Those being the main 3 that're driving me insane.

 

[Plan9]

My family used to argue all the time, it made my life crap. Then I moved out and it was a little better.

Life is really **** some times, it'll get better at some point.

 

[Klonoa]

Please help me, guys...

I... have an unrequited love thingy for years, and even though shes an imposibility I cant help it but wake in the night and cry for it, I began drinking away to soothe the pain, each day pass by in seconds to me, feeling like another wasted day, meaningless...

You cant grasp, you CANT possibly grasp how much this hurts! Its driving me insane! its killing me!!

 

[Roman Legion]

I know what you mean, this has been my friend lately.

Life to me is a blur, I never know what day it is and have no reason to. My life will make you feel better about your own, I can bet you a bottle of that tequila that much. I woke up dreaming, but that dream was a nightmare. To know what I mean, I implore you to read my thoughts below (In my signature), I'm sure they will cheer you up a bit. At least my cesspool of a life.. HA, life, situation, can yield the positive result of letting others know, life can get much worse.

 

[Klonoa]

I dont know, right now Im in a painful nightmare I cant wake up from...