is it more of cuz you are anxious around people or because you dont know what to say or dont have anything to say? or something else?
for me it's more of not knowing what to say. i'm so stupid! :x 😳😢. literally stupid. and i'm afraid if i do say something...i'll say it wrong (which is the case most of the time)...meaning what was on my mind wasnt what came out of my mouth lol 😳. so i feel its better not to say anything...which sometimes makes me feel dumber. i can be in a sea of people and not really be bothered. but if i have to talk to any of them...that's a whole nother story.
most of you make very intelligent posts (that's waay over my head lol) so it puzzles me that yall have SP :?.
This is EXACTLY how i feel all the time. It just has to do with self confidence. So does anyone know how someone can become more self confident? Is it even possible? Thats pretty much the solution to SA, gaining self confidence, but how?
I can think of things to say to girls (that's the only time my SA kicks in) but they're generally not up to my usual standards when I'm with male friends. So that's not the problem, the problem is I'm spending every ounce of my energy not collapsing on the floor and breaking down and crying for no reason, and it, unfortunately, shows. I make weird movements and expressions and I tug my hand behind my neck awkwardly and look like an idiot and I have trouble looking in one direction for more than a few seconds. And if it gets really bad like I'm being touched or something, I freeze up and I literally don't respond to anyone and I act like a zombie. It really sucks *** and it pisses me off. I've been able to act normal and even suave once or twice and I wonder how I could ever do that again.
Anyway I think the question you're asking is not the cause of SA but how it manifests, because the cause seems universal for all of us....
Kids throughout school used to make fun of me because i couldn't pronounce certain letters when talking, so i withdrew and spoke as little as possible. Then i put weight on and had to endure bullying on top of that untill i got annorexia at 15(suffered for a few months)Then i was treated like shit at college.
don't feel too bad shynobody. i'm also totally self conscious about sounding like an idiot and i usually don't have anything to say. Actually... my verbal communication is stilted when i'm feeling super self conscious... being aware of it just makes me look nervous too =(
The "cause" of my social anxiety according to my many different therapists and psychiatrists, is that my mother physically abused me when I was a child. It is true, that I don't like her much. We have never really gotten along very well. I see it more and more with her that she just hates men or any male for that matter. So I think it does help me, knowing that it wasn't just me, but it was because I was male...
As far as how it manifests itself in me. I blush very badly, I get tremors in my hands and arms. I avoid eye contact, my palms sweat badly, my stomach gets severe cramps (so bad in fact sometimes I have to lay down..), I almost have this "out of body" feeling like I am somehow floating above myself... Just a very strange feeling that comes over me when I am in a social situation that I cannot escape from. Sometimes I say things that I don't mean to say at all.
