What would you do?

[DanielLewis]

I'm thinking about leaving my job because I've had some bad social problems working there. Some people there view me as an *******, some weird, and some probably just unconfident. One guy even wanted to assault me. He said "I'll kick your ***" in a non-joking way. I didn't say anything mean to him at all. I just come off as so off-putting sometimes it throws people off. It stirs them the wrong way. They think I'm an *** for not talking to them more or just weird or threatening body language. So even I made two servers cry apparently. You're probably wondering how in the hell I can manage to do all of that, even though you struggle with SA too, lol.

I can only explain my eratic behavior as a consequence of SA that's been worse because I have been very sleepless. I can't even control at times so much that eye contact freaks me out so much I give people a weird look that visibly makes them uncomfortable. And, of course, knowing all of this can make it worse as I try to control my behavior.

Despite all this, I still work there. Been there 7 months. Some people still think I'm nice and all so it's not like everyone there views me negatively. Of course though, word spreads about making servers cry and stuff. I know because one guy server told me "I don't care what they say about you, you're the man." It's a little awkward being there knowing how some people view me, but hey, everyday is a new day.

Have you been in a similar situations? What would you do? I'm thinking about leaving. Start new and fresh and a new job where people don't know me yet.

 

[worrywort]

What would I do? Well, most jobs I've ever worked at, I always get the feeling that most people think I'm weird, or at least view me more negatively than I view myself. But over the years I've learnt not to care too much. I know my heart is in the right place and I'm doing my best, so that's all that matters. As long as others generally keep their opinions to themselves then I don't care. If it started to get out of hand, with other workers actually verbally abusing me on a more regular basis, first I'd try to confront them [if I'm feeling brave enough], then I'd report it to my superiors, and if it's still a problem, then I'd consider leaving.

The thing is, you have a right to work, just like everyone else. As long as you're not deliberately hurting anyone, then I tend to think, screw everyone else. Something that helps me is to watch films or read stories with silent, quiet characters and to see how they're still loved and accepted by their communities. It makes me feel more confident that people like us, just because we have social difficulties, doesn't make us bad people. We still have plenty to offer. I think we should stand firm in that.

That said, I went through about 7-8 jobs before I settled on one that I was comfortable at. Jobs with too many people around stress me out too much. I'm a cleaner now and that suits me much better. So perhaps that would be one reason for leaving.

 

[DanielLewis]

You're absolutely right. If I keep that in mind, I think that will help me cope a lot. I am doing my best there to do a good job and be friendly. I understand why people may have a negative opinion of me. They're just reacting to what they see in brief moments, but it's hardly the picture of who I am. They don't know me at all outside of work, and what I'm going through. So like you said, who cares what they think.

Like you, I also get stressed at this job with there being so many people around. And the servers ask me for stuff constantly because I'm a cook there. So, if anything, I figure maybe they just think I'm stressed out when I'm there sometimes or that I don't like my job. But all in all, I just want to stop focusing so much on what others think.