What do you guys think of this?

SilentType

Banned
I'm goin' to live in California, campin' on beaches and underneath the Redwood trees 8) . Unfortunately, I'll be living on about $1000 per month, but that more than enough for a guy like me. Living the life of a wandering nomad just has some aspect that draws me into it. My life has already crumbled into pieces because of this agoraphobia that eats at me daily, so why not just enjoy the time I have left here on Earth? I have no obligations to be a part of a society, that in my opinion, is tearing itself apart. I just want to be happy, and I know most people's definition of happy does not include living in a car. But really, that's all I need. I get monthly checks from the government because my agoraphobia makes me unemployable...

...and all I see is my agoraphobia getting worse and worse...I've basically just tried to support the idea of living as a nomad for the rest of my life...

I know most people are going to disagree with my decision, but I think my mind is made up to hit the road in a few months... So instead of replies like, "don't do that you crazy man!", how about some advice as I make my way across the country and into the life of the wanderer...


Peace
 

eR1k

Active member
I think it's fantastic you are going on this journey. I hope you will find happiness, this could very well be a life alterning experience for you in a positive way. What other people think of you is irrelevant, you should be happy, you deserve to be happy! Do whatever you have to do to become happy.
 

Generical

Well-known member
Sounds like a couragous idea, i really want to go tavelling to just get away from here, although not quite like a nomad :p

All i can say really is make sure you've got something to fall back on if everything falls apart on your journey, just in case kinda thing.
 

scissorhands

Well-known member
At least you've got a car. I've had this idea before. I think I will settle for wandering through my summers then back to the grind through the winters though. And I'llbe walking.
 

SilentType

Banned
Yeah I've got a medical transcription training that I can always fall back to if the life doesn't turn out to be what I expect. Thanks for the positive responses guys, I really appreciate it.

Peace
 

lifes_to_long

Well-known member
I don't wanna be the one to put this idea down, but I've been where you are I've done the fantasy and it aint pretty I went to switzerland and spent 3 weeks with only a few clothes these were my most desperate times and I felt like I had no other choice but to go. I couldn't stay were I was in this mad emotional time it was literally stay and kill myself or go and take it on the chin you wanna know the truth I regret it. it made me alot more Ill I was hospitalized and in serious shock all I can say is get some help take some anti psychotics and anti depressant and that might make things a bit clearer I don't want this to sound like im talking down to you I know what its like there's other choice to make but wait until you're in a calm enough head space to do it.oli
 

HH

Well-known member
Go for it!!! I'd love to do that, a one finger salute to the everyday grind and do my own thing. I'd would be great if you took loads of pictures and post them on here when you've returned. Take it easy and good luck.
 

SilentType

Banned
I don't wanna be the one to put this idea down, but I've been where you are I've done the fantasy and it aint pretty I went to switzerland and spent 3 weeks with only a few clothes these were my most desperate times and I felt like I had no other choice but to go. I couldn't stay were I was in this mad emotional time it was literally stay and ***** or go and take it on the chin you wanna know the truth I regret it.

In California they have laundromats, man. I'm not gonna quit my journey just because the few clothes I have are dirty... I don't know much about you or your story, but if I regret the decision once I've been there a while, I'll still have my family to go back with because they know I'm struggling with this and they'd do anything to help me through, even though they know that I desperately want to get away from them haha. I'll just have to change my plans a bit and head in another direction.


it made me alot more Ill I was hospitalized and in serious shock all I can say is get some help take some anti psychotics and anti depressant and that might make things a bit clearer I don't want this to sound like im talking down to you I know what its like there's other choice to make but wait until you're in a calm enough head space to do it.oli

I'm sorry to hear your experience didn't go as planned. However, I've already been through piles of pills of all sorts that my psychiatrist has given me, and I still feel like shit. I'm currently taking 1.5 mg klonopin 3x daily, propanolol 60 mg 3x daily, and then I take Seroquel at night so I can sleep. My head is about as calm as it gets right now, with the benzo induced synaptic slowdown and all, not to mention the daily Seroquel (intended to settle down schizophrenics, which I'm not). My head may not be clear, haha, but its definitely a "calm head space," as you termed it.

Your experience is just that; your experience. Just because you failed to plan it out and do it the right way doesn't mean that I'm going to fail too. How about instead of telling me I'm going to fail, you tell me exactly why you failed so I can avoid those mistakes?

Peace[/quote]
 

SilentType

Banned
Go for it!!! I'd love to do that, a one finger salute to the everyday grind and do my own thing. I'd would be great if you took loads of pictures and post them on here when you've returned. Take it easy and good luck.

Now that's what I'm looking for, a nice positive post to get me amped up for this excursion to distance myself from the "daily grind." In regards to the photography and keeping people up to date with my journey, I've thought about starting a blog or something, but I'm not sure how many people will actually want to read about my life in my car haha. I'll definitely have one helluva photo album at the end of this trip, though, regardless, and I'll definitely be back here to this forum often simply because you people are all AWESOME.

Peace
 

scorpion

Well-known member
Go, it must be a great sence of freedom.
The only way i can find peace whith myself its whend iam traveling, so go live in your car, dont stick to california there are nice trees all aroun the world. And the best thing is thats we dont have to talk to them.
 

Primrose

Well-known member
Sounds like an amazing adventure. You'll experience more than the 'normals' could ever dream of.

Keep on rockin' in a free world!
 

tommydog

Well-known member
Sounds good to me brother. There might be a few unexpected little details you havnt considered, like for instance, your essentially living on the streets, its going to be dangerous, and you dont have a lot of money, so you might find yourself doing things that will put you in even more danger or in jail.... but dont dont let me spoil it :lol:

Im joking man. Well im serious, but I wish the best and you never know what turn your life can take. You might meet some really cool people, you end up getting mixed up in thier lives, everything improves for you, you meet someone, your anxiety improves, you get a job at a wrecking yard were you smoke weed all day ... never, never know huh :wink: Good luck.
 

Foxglove

Well-known member
I don't want to rain on your parade, but how are you going to do this if you suffer from agoraphobia? I thought agoraphobia meant fear of leaving your house, or fear of open spaces...but I guess that if for you safety is your car, it would be great to just bug out and not have to answer to anyone.
 

SilentType

Banned
There might be a few unexpected little details you havnt considered, like for instance, your essentially living on the streets, its going to be dangerous, and you dont have a lot of money, so you might find yourself doing things that will put you in even more danger or in jail.... but dont dont let me spoil it

I know there are definitely things that I haven't considered here, and that's kind of my reasoning behind making this thread (to get advice before I go).

I won't be living on "the streets" much at all. I'll be more of a camper than some guy that sleeps in his car in the middle of a city.

Luckily, we don't have to worry about me doing anything that'll put me in jail. I'm not that much of an idiot. I suspect you think I may start selling pot, which is a big no no for me. Why would I compromise my right to smoke reefer legally?

You might meet some really cool people, you end up getting mixed up in thier lives, everything improves for you, you meet someone, your anxiety improves, you get a job at a wrecking yard were you smoke weed all day ... never, never know huh Wink Good luck.

My intentions are not to "smoke weed all day" at all. My intentions are to gain access to a medicine that works for me, but has been stigmatized by a lack of understanding. I will only smoke when necessary, just like I pop a klonopin when necessary. The good part about this is I won't get physically addicted to the substance that relieves my anxieties.

I don't want to rain on your parade, but how are you going to do this if you suffer from agoraphobia? I thought agoraphobia meant fear of leaving your house, or fear of open spaces...but I guess that if for you safety is your car, it would be great to just bug out and not have to answer to anyone.

Agoraphobia, for me, is a fear of fear itself. I fear having panic attacks in certain places, therefore I avoid those places, and tend to stay homebound. I can deal with it with the panic if I take a benzo when I HAVE to do something that causes panic, but it always leaves me stressed and physically exhausted (even something as easy as sitting down for a meal at a restaurant).

You're right about the safe zone being my car, but you're wrong about the reason I'm leaving. I'm not going on this journey so I don't have to answer to anyone, but rather to experience what it's like to live at the bottom. I also seek an inner peace that I think might be achievable by getting closer to nature and stop taking for granted all of the natural beauty that lies within the United States. Theoretically, if I start at the bottom, I'll have nowhere to go but up, and I reckon moving up will result in my real goal: happiness.


Peace
 

slimjim119

Well-known member
Sometimes i feel like traveling and getting away from the same old boring,anxious routine. It helps clear my head when i see different places. It gets my mind off my problems. Best of luck on your journey!!
 

SilentType

Banned
Thanks slim. I agree that road trips are definitely good ways to clear your head. Why not take a giant road trip to shake out all of the bullshit that's spun through it for the past twenty years? haha

Peace
 

SilentType

Banned
And the decision has been made. I'm going. Haha if u wanna donate anything that I may need on my trip send me a pm. I'll be keeping a blog somewhere. I'll also keep a dashboard cam and take pics and videos along the way. If anyone wants to go along for the journey with me via the internet, I'll have a website soon enough, but I doubt there are many people out there who would care to follow me on this journey.

Haha that sounds ridiculous, but its gonna happen people!

Peace
 
SilentType said:
I get monthly checks from the government because my agoraphobia makes me unemployable...

Your agoraphobia prevents you from working, yet you think you can travel the country by yourself? Time for a reality check.

Why not try Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT) and learn what it is to be response-able? You claim pot can treat anxiety but you have no way to test that because you don't actually leave the house?

Mamas & Papas said:
All the leaves are brown
All the leaves are brown
And the sky is grey
And the sky is grey
Ive been for a walk
Ive been for a walk
On a winters day
On a winters day
Id be safe and warm
Id be safe and warm
If I was in l.a.
If I was in l.a.
California dreamin
California dreamin
On such a winters day

Stopped into a church
I passed along the way
Well, I got down on my knees
Got down on my knees
And I pretend to pray
I pretend to pray
You know the preacher likes the cold
Preacher likes the cold
He knows Im gonna stay
Knows Im gonna stay
California dreamin
California dreamin
On such a winters day

All the leaves are brown
All the leaves are brown
And the sky is grey
And the sky is grey
Ive been for a walk
Ive been for a walk
On a winters day
On a winters day
If I didnt tell her
If I didnt tell her
I could leave today
I could leave today
California dreamin
California dreamin
On such a winters day
California dreaming
On such a winters day
California dreaming
On such a winters day
 
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