What are your hardest/Awful Exposures?

[Faded]

I've started the (Social) Exposure which is part of the cognitive behaviour therapy..Anyway .. I was wondering,, when u started your exposure,what was your Hardest!?? For Example, Today i went with my therapist to the mall,and we sat in an open cafe where i had to eat in public (assignment). And,, i refused to eat but i chose drinking as a beggining, so before i got my drink,tears fell down and i looked extremely nervous,i was about to die. So .. i noticed if i didnt feel that now then i wudnt have the pro-longed therapy working later on. I tried my best to exchange negative thoughts with positive ones but i cudnt find the mind space. It was a Jam!
its stupid i know ..

 

[Lotrsfan]

On holiday in Australia, my Aunty, Uncle and her children (but now grown up, about in their 30's and 40's) and they are also my cousin's and my cousin's children (between the ages of 1 to 12) all went to a wine distillary and there was a tea room so afterwards they wanted to go there and have some tea and tea cakes. There was about 14 of us and we sat down at this long table and they all had some tea cakes but i didn't want too, i pretended i didn't like them but i kinda do but i said that because i didn't really want to eat in front of them all, but i still had a cup of tea. and my mum kept saying "Go on, have one?" and it was embaressing coz it was drawing attention to me, and all the others where talking and stuff but i just sat there not joining in and looking uncomfortable and i had tears in my eyes coz i was so uncomfortable and i kept blinking them back. Yeah, this was my family, but i still get shy and uncomfortable round them.

I've have more expostures i didn't like and felt uncomfortable with, but i can't write them all out.

 

[Faded]

On holiday in Australia, my Aunty, Uncle and her children (but now grown up, about in their 30's and 40's) and they are also my cousin's and my cousin's children (between the ages of 1 to 12) all went to a wine distillary and there was a tea room so afterwards they wanted to go there and have some tea and tea cakes. There was about 14 of us and we sat down at this long table and they all had some tea cakes but i didn't want too, i pretended i didn't like them but i kinda do but i said that because i didn't really want to eat in front of them all, but i still had a cup of tea. and my mum kept saying "Go on, have one?" and it was embaressing coz it was drawing attention to me, and all the others where talking and stuff but i just sat there not joining in and looking uncomfortable and i had tears in my eyes coz i was so uncomfortable and i kept blinking them back. Yeah, this was my family, but i still get shy and uncomfortable round them.

I've have more expostures i didn't like and felt uncomfortable with, but i can't write them all out.

Oh yea. Family gatherings are the hardest, when we gather i always Look 4 excuses to go or sleep.. But its worse they wonder why i wanna sleep at tht time of the day or wonna do something at that moment (becuz its rude). its really hard to just run away from reality ...
LotrFan, its very annoying sometimes,, why do SPs get very emotional around ppl (even thuse of yr family) ??? I think its worse arund ppl u know, Right?? But its okay, u'll havta get thru those exposures and not avoid them becuz u need to know how to deal with later .. =)

 

[Richey]

On holiday in Australia, my Aunty, Uncle and her children (but now grown up, about in their 30's and 40's) and they are also my cousin's and my cousin's children (between the ages of 1 to 12) all went to a wine distillary and there was a tea room so afterwards they wanted to go there and have some tea and tea cakes. There was about 14 of us and we sat down at this long table and they all had some tea cakes but i didn't want too, i pretended i didn't like them but i kinda do but i said that because i didn't really want to eat in front of them all, but i still had a cup of tea. and my mum kept saying "Go on, have one?" and it was embaressing coz it was drawing attention to me, and all the others where talking and stuff but i just sat there not joining in and looking uncomfortable and i had tears in my eyes coz i was so uncomfortable and i kept blinking them back. Yeah, this was my family, but i still get shy and uncomfortable round them.

I've have more expostures i didn't like and felt uncomfortable with, but i can't write them all out.

Oh yea. Family gatherings are the hardest, when we gather i always Look 4 excuses to go or sleep.. But its worse they wonder why i wanna sleep at tht time of the day or wonna do something at that moment (becuz its rude). its really hard to just run away from reality ...
LotrFan, its very annoying sometimes,, why do SPs get very emotional around ppl (even thuse of yr family) ??? I think its worse arund ppl u know, Right?? But its okay, u'll havta get thru those exposures and not avoid them becuz u need to know how to deal with later .. =)

Its hard for me around folks i know because they know all my faults and weaknesses so with strangers its like starting fresh, to combat it just being there will help instead of avoiding it entirely, try and work on relaxing before these occurences, if i was confident with my voice and conversational skills i would feel comfortable but tis not the case unless im on a high

 

[black_mamba]

I tried my best to exchange negative thoughts with positive ones but i cudnt find the mind space. It was a Jam!

You have such a nice way of writing and conveying feelings. That's all I wanted to say!

 

[Jack-B]

Faded,

Beutiful post, thank you.

Richey,

I know you are not asking for advice however i just wanted to comment on what you said:

"Its hard for me around folks i know because they know all my faults and weaknesses so with strangers its like starting fresh"

I used to think just like this, however, its just not true.

Its harder for you around people you know because you 'think' they know all your faults and weaknesses. They dont. What you are doing is relating to how you see yourself, only you can, and projecting onto the minds of other people thinking this is what they think of you.

i'll let you into a secret, dont tell anyone ;-)

you are invisible to the minds of the ordinary people of this world, why? Because no-one really sees you, they see a projected version of you, a hologram of who they think you are, projected from their own mind. This version of you they see is not the 'you' that you relate to so its like when you speak to others they are talking to a different person.

For example someone could see you as funny, witty, beutiful, confident, yet what you see is different. The 'you' you relate to is not realistic. In other words, your self image is negative, like a lot of peoples. This leads to negative self talk and you imagine this is how other people see you. It isnt. They relate to you from how their mind sees you or projects you. Even people you have known for years, only you will ever really know your self.

My family members dont know the real 'me' they see someone different because their minds see somebody different yet we both relate to these two different people as if they were one, they arent. This is the deception.

No-one has ever seen you.

Jack