Unusual behavior caused by depression

Tuco

Well-known member
#1
About 5-6 months ago I was very depressed, I didn't think about suicide, but kept wishing I was dead or that I would die in my sleep. Then all of a sudden I decided that I wanted to go paragliding, something that would have never occurred to me if I hadn't been in that state of mind; in fact someone once asked me if I would ever try it, and my answer was that I would never do it because it would be an unnecessary risk. So I bought a tandem flight and the night before going I spent like an hour on the web seeing pictures of accidents and deaths related to paragliding. I think subconsciously the twisted logic I was operating on, was that if something went wrong, that would be the best outcome because I would be dead, and if nothing happened, then it would be all right because at least now I would know what flying feels like. So anyway, I did it and I liked it, the scariest part was takeoff, and once in the air I was a little tense also, but after that everything was fine. I was still depressed after the experience but was feeling a little better because I had done something new.
 
#2
I had a similar experience... I think at the time.. I was so low, that I decided that I couldn't go any lower (in my mind at least). It's almost liberating in a way... I'm not sure if it's courage exactly. More that I thought that there's almost nothing left to lose.
 

UnOccupied

Well-known member
#3
This is really interesting. I have never thought of doing something like that, but i think it is really cool you thought of it. And, that you actually did it. Hope you feel better!
 

EscapeArtist

Well-known member
#4
I know exactly where you are coming from. I haven't followed through with my crazy ideas because of lack of cash, but it is liberating in a sense. Reckless, careless, but free. In the end I see the world as if it were just a game of the sims, where nothing matters so it's all up to me. It's great that you got to experience something new, you can use this feeling to get out of the same shell that is fostering the feeling
 

Tuco

Well-known member
#5
This is really interesting. I have never thought of doing something like that, but i think it is really cool you thought of it. And, that you actually did it. Hope you feel better!
Thank you. I am not in a good place right now, but I have been worse.
 
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