Ugh....HELP whats up with me?

Whoopdeedoo

Well-known member
Im new to this so bear with me. But i feel im losing my mind. I have so many issues ,for many reasons and theyre all flaring up at once!im so needy, inconsolable, volatile, angry, sad and frustrated. And very self destructive. Im having difficulty dealing with myself nevermind anyone else. Im not eating, or drinking and incessantly complaining to anyones ear i can .i need to make a
move but i feel like i just cant get started
I feel so stuck. Im laying around brooding and ruminating about things that happened. Cant get myself to do anything @ all
Im a social phobic with PTSD i think and im becoming agoraphobic. I know i need to make a move but wtf why cant i ?why am i like this?Im like marinading in pain
I just want to know i guess that i am not alone and find some hope that this too shall pass because this feels like hell i have so many things to do and its like i care but i just dont wanna fn deal or do this darn crap no more my problems arepiling up and feeling like shoveling poop against the tide
And people in my life i just keep pushing away cause they dont understand me and seem to just want things from me im feeling like god just give me a break and a good turrn like Please and now .im losing hope this cycle of depression
Is never letting up so is anyone feeling me i just wanna know?
 

PerseverareJasmine

Well-known member
Depression does seem to consume a person. As you mentioned, it can rob a person of their motivation to do just about everything. I was also self-destructive in the past; I harmed myself and now I definitely regret doing it. I caused people who love me to worry. I can't tell you that everything will get better right away, because that usually just isn't true, though I wish it could be. Its a struggle and it does often seem like hell. Keep trying to navigate through the storm. My mind tells me there are people on this forum who can see where you're coming from.
 
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Lavinialuna

Well-known member
Im new to this so bear with me. But i feel im losing my mind. I have so many issues ,for many reasons and theyre all flaring up at once!im so needy, inconsolable, volatile, angry, sad and frustrated. And very self destructive. Im having difficulty dealing with myself nevermind anyone else. Im not eating, or drinking and incessantly complaining to anyones ear i can .i need to make a
move but i feel like i just cant get started
I feel so stuck. Im laying around brooding and ruminating about things that happened. Cant get myself to do anything @ all
Im a social phobic with PTSD i think and im becoming agoraphobic. I know i need to make a move but wtf why cant i ?why am i like this?Im like marinading in pain
I just want to know i guess that i am not alone and find some hope that this too shall pass because this feels like hell i have so many things to do and its like i care but i just dont wanna fn deal or do this darn crap no more my problems arepiling up and feeling like shoveling poop against the tide
And people in my life i just keep pushing away cause they dont understand me and seem to just want things from me im feeling like god just give me a break and a good turrn like Please and now .im losing hope this cycle of depression
Is never letting up so is anyone feeling me i just wanna know?

I have been in that place, and I have improved some (though I still have a long way to go.) First, be gentle with yourself. Before you can start improving you need to stabilize. Do what you can to feel safe, and don't push yourself too hard. Try to keep your mind occupied with positive things (TV, people you trust, a book, music) and try to break the ruminating. I know it's hard. Try talking positive to yourself. Stay away from things that cause you stress (for me, I had to let go of the computer for several months.) Just do what makes you feel good for a little while. Sleep well, eat well, just be kind to yourself.
There are some deficiencies that can cause anxiety symptoms. Iron, magnesium, the B vitamins, and more can cause anxiety like symptoms. Some medications that they use to treat depression can actually cause anxiety or make depression worse. For me, my anxiety improved when I started taking probiotics. The whole body works like magic when all the pieces are working correctly, but one little thing being off can effect us greatly.
I hope you can figure it out and feel better. There are a lot of nice people on here who are helpful to talk to. You're not alone.
 

Whoopdeedoo

Well-known member
Thanks so much for your kind words
& the reminder to be gentle with myself
The devouring moments make you forget
Simple coping mantras
The ebb & flo of my disease
Requires a balance of fight & surrender
And thats a reality i just dont want to accept sometimes
Because i miss the me that didnt feel this bad
and when i was more functionional and productive
It helps to be understood &
Know you re not alone
( though i wouldnt wish this on anyone) lol

Im glad youre progressing :)
That gives me hope O:)
So thanks again
 

Whoopdeedoo

Well-known member
Thank you!
I made that awful attempt on my life too
& i must be here for some reason because
With the amount of benzos i took
Its a miracle that im still here
Thanks for reminding me of that in my dark hours
it helped to shift my perspective
I need constant reminders of the miracles of life
& youre a miracle too!
 
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