two things that have changed the way i view myself

[Rise Against]

Two simple things have changed my social life by giving me confidence, you can do it too! Lifting and partying... let me explain. I have been lifting for a solid year now, and i have put on nearly 60 pounds of muscle. Lifting and exercise in general will greatly boost your confidence. As far as partying goes, you DONT have to drink if you dont want to (i usually dont). Just show up! Surround yourself with lots of people. Sure the first hour or so is scary, so go with a friend. You dont even have to start conversations, just stand and wait, people will come to you. I went to a party last weekend, i didnt drink or start any conversations, but i still walked away with 7 girls phone numbers. I didnt even ask for phone numbers they just took my phone and stored their numbers for me. The great thing about parties is that most people do drink, so if you have an awkward moment, they wont remember or care. The key is putting yourself in social situations and pushing your comfort zone. At first it is difficult, but its the only way you can overcome your SA. and believe me it is well worth it.

 

[Sinar_Matahari]

I have become a litte less anxious and a bit more confident as a result of actually going out with friends, meeting people and having fun. Working out does increase confidence as well. I don't life weights lest I want to end up looking like a guy, but I have done cardio, pilates, yoga and some interval training in the past. I'm just too lazy to get back into it.

 

[Jake123]

Doesn't work for everyone.

 

[redski]

Why is that. Is it that you bulk up and you notice and feel
good about yourself when women check you out?

Needless to say I do not pump.

 

[PennyLane]

I do find it helps my confidence to stay in shape but ultimately my problems are inside so it won't really matter about how much I try to improve the outside.

I have been to quite a few parties and dinners etc...but at my age I find that not drinking isn;t really accepted and if you dont take part they do tend to remember! There have been fun times for sure, but there are still expectations at parties to be chatty and witty. Well I find anyway!

 

[recluse]

Easier said than done. The excercise i have no problem with but me going to a party

 

[lurknomore]

Easier said than done. The excercise i have no problem with but me going to a party

lol I don't even get invites to parties or know where they take place...

 

[Harleyq]

I do find it helps my confidence to stay in shape but ultimately my problems are inside so it won't really matter about how much I try to improve the outside.

I have been to quite a few parties and dinners etc...but at my age I find that not drinking isn;t really accepted and if you dont take part they do tend to remember! There have been fun times for sure, but there are still expectations at parties to be chatty and witty. Well I find anyway!

This is what I was thinking, too.

Not drinking makes me uncomfortable because almost every time people keep trying to pressure me into drinking so even if I wasn't nervous, it gets old really fast to say "No! I do not want a drink! Yes, I'm sure!" over and over.

Other than that, I find myself not wanting to socialize with the people who want to talk to me (call me snobby if you want) because the people who approach me are normally drunk guys looking for a lay and breathing nasty beer breath all over me. So then I'm both nervous and annoyed all at the same time.

 

[Jake123]

My birthday's coming up, I should totally through a huge bonanza and invite everyone I know.

Oh wait, I don't know anyone

Damn.

 

[agoraphobickatie]

Other than that, I find myself not wanting to socialize with the people who want to talk to me (call me snobby if you want) because the people who approach me are normally drunk guys looking for a lay and breathing nasty beer breath all over me. So then I'm both nervous and annoyed all at the same time.

haha about the nasty beer breath! so true... that shit is nasty!!

i can't really say i've ever had anyone trying to get me to drink, ever.. all of my friends know that 'katie doesn't drink' and i have a good time without getting shit faced anyway! haha.. (this is all obviously back when i had a life, haha) ..anywho, nobody ever has a problem with me being sober, i can't think of a time where people were trying to get me to drink, haha.. unless it was "just try this", and sure, i'll try it, but it usually tastes like asshole casserole to me! HAHA ...but, it does actually make ME more comfortable if everyone else is getting super wasted, because like he said, they probably won't remember.. and drunk people don't give a shit about anything going on anyway! lol.. one of the last things a drunk person will probably remember is you being anxious about anything, haha

 

[Harleyq]

haha about the nasty beer breath! so true... that shit is nasty!!

i can't really say i've ever had anyone trying to get me to drink, ever.. all of my friends know that 'katie doesn't drink' and i have a good time without getting shit faced anyway! haha.. (this is all obviously back when i had a life, haha) ..anywho, nobody ever has a problem with me being sober, i can't think of a time where people were trying to get me to drink, haha.. unless it was "just try this", and sure, i'll try it, but it usually tastes like asshole casserole to me! HAHA ...but, it does actually make ME more comfortable if everyone else is getting super wasted, because like he said, they probably won't remember.. and drunk people don't give a shit about anything going on anyway! lol.. one of the last things a drunk person will probably remember is you being anxious about anything, haha

Yeah, that is true about them not remembering or caring.

My friends have never pressured me into drinking, it's usually their friends whom I've only met once or twice. Now that I think about it, maybe I just start out too early. I need to go in once everyone's already drunk, not when they're still trying to buzz lol.

Idk...I get hesitant cause that's not really the kind of crowd I'd want to be socializing with, anyways. I like small groups better than large parties and I think that actually has more to do with my need for space than because of SA.

 

[agoraphobickatie]

Yeah, that is true about them not remembering or caring.

My friends have never pressured me into drinking, it's usually their friends whom I've only met once or twice. Now that I think about it, maybe I just start out too early. I need to go in once everyone's already drunk, not when they're still trying to buzz lol.

Idk...I get hesitant cause that's not really the kind of crowd I'd want to be socializing with, anyways. I like small groups better than large parties and I think that actually has more to do with my need for space than because of SA.

i agree there, harleyq, and i don't think you sound stuck up at all.. i have my group of friends from high school and we can all sit and chill at someones house and do absolutely nothing and have a great time! but i also had the party group of friends as well... we used to have bonfires, house parties and go to the club and all, and i did enjoy hanging out with them just as much, and they were the ones who had the alcohol at parties and stuff... and the party group was obviously a bigger group of people who brought more people that i didn't know and all... i'm critical about who i want to interact with as well, i can usually handle being around people i don't care for if my friends are around, i just ignore people i don't respect, haha... but i will say even when i was going out and living 'normally', i was aaaalways anxious before going to the club, but i'd stick it out and go with my sister or best friend, and after a few minutes, i'd end up chilling out and having a really good time.. despite the drugs and alcohol around! haha