Trying to fit in and befriend people....

oNecoOlazN

Well-known member
#1
Lets say you are a loner. Yes me. I have been pretty much friendless for my entire life due to my sa.

Your family insists that you try going out and meeting new ppl and going out with them once in a while...i feel that this is a good start but at the same time i feel like the "loner" that is trying to fit in with normal ppl and somewhat feel a bit pathetic about myself..

Should ibe feeling this way..?
 
#2
Its much tougher when you are younger.

I'm now middle aged and for the most part I couldn't care less what others think.

Learn to love yourself, stop trying to please others so much.
 
#3
Having a life full of loneliness can apparently increase your chances of having a heart attack by 29%, and DOUBLE your chances of developing Dementia in your old age.

There are many more lonely people then are reported in statistical studies because of the stigma attached to admitting publicly that you are a loner/lonely.

So the only consolation I can give you is that there are many, many more of us lonely people in this world than is reported. And therefore, because this fact is now starting to be acknowledged and made more known, I'm hopeful that eventually it will at least become less of a stigma for those of us to fear being labelled as someone who is "not normal", if we do try to venture out and befriend people.

This talk starts off quite slow, but does get to some good points in it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j-Gil9l8yIE
 

lily

Well-known member
#4
Lets say you are a loner. Yes me. I have been pretty much friendless for my entire life due to my sa.

Your family insists that you try going out and meeting new ppl and going out with them once in a while...i feel that this is a good start but at the same time i feel like the "loner" that is trying to fit in with normal ppl and somewhat feel a bit pathetic about myself..

Should ibe feeling this way..?
I've PM'd you once and after 1 PM you didn't reply to me anymore, it felt bad. I was just being myself. i have social anxiety/phobia like you and I'm dealing w/ a lot of anxiety but i just wanted a friend. i guess you didn't want a friend anymore? it's not nice to feel unwanted as friend but it's just makes it like it's hard to find a good/decent friend on a social phobia website where people feel lonely and would like friends like me, not just any shallow friend. Yes I'm good at socializing online but I've got the hardships I've said I've got in real life. i don't think you should stay in your shell for the rest of your life but if you ever wanted to talk again i wouldn't want it to be b/c you're using me of course but i think you just have low self-esteem.
 
Last edited:

oNecoOlazN

Well-known member
#5
Its only once a week anyways...and it was quite fun eating lunch and just chit chatting...im just going to give it a try and be more courageous.
 

lily

Well-known member
#9
Its only once a week anyways...and it was quite fun eating lunch and just chit chatting...im just going to give it a try and be more courageous.
question: how come you can chit-chat while eating lunch out and you couldn't talk with me?
 

grapevine

Well-known member
#10
Id say- work on yourself. Work out, eat better - (juice fruit and veggies!!), find someone you admire - whether it be on a famous person - or someone you know - and really start to work on your identity how you would like to be known to yourself and others and go from there. Learn about communication. Its takes alot of energy to be social and you need that confidence backing to really sustain it. Approaching people at your own level in social level helps too. Most people are attracted to a person that actively listens and smiles and asks questions. Thats how you get in.
Its a journey.
 
Top