Tough decision...

[SilentType]

Here's a brief background of me. I'm 19 and I live with my parents. I graduated high school early when I was 17 due to SA and I tried going to college but only made it thRough one semester. I'm taking online classes in order to become a medical transcriptionist, so I'm not really tied down anywhere.

This is where my tough decision comes in. I still suffer from SA but I'm getting better at dealing with it through the help of meds and extensive research on how to help myself. I was recently talking to a friend from high school who has just moved to Denver, Colorado (AKA the mile high city, lol) because she wanted to get out of the horrid area in Pennsylvania that we live. (I've actually been wanting to get out of here myself for quite a while) She asked me to move out to Denver and be her roommate because she is alone and has only been there for a week and has yet to make any friends. We always had a lot of fun together, even shared some intimate moments, but its been over a year since I've even seen her. I do feel that we're a lot alike though, she's even had some anxiety issues of her own in the past. I don't know if my SA will get the best of me but I feel like this may be one of few chances to add some excitement to my otherwise dull life. I need to get over my SA, and I believe that living 2000 miles away from home with someone I can enjoy life day to day with would really be some good therapy for me. What do you people think about this situation? Any thoughts or opinions would be greatly appreciated.

Peace

 

[okkamsrazor]

ST - I had a similar chance to be wth someone I was close to but it meant relocating to Crete (2300miles away). I turned it down due to immediate family commitments. Now 2 years has passed and she's with someone. You know If I didnt have any commitments I probably wudda endin up packin my bags and headin for the first plane out right then and there.
Thinking back I guess I was also nervous abt havin to be with someone who knew me before I developed SA. That coupled with a lack of self esteem put the finishing touch on proceedings. Now I can see that my fears then, had no basis in objective reality.
Im not a christian or anything but I believe the gospel puts it quite well?
John : 1 - Love casts out fear.
Go be with her!

 

[SilentType]

Thanks so much for the advice. I, too, have reservations about how I'll be able to deal with SA living so far away from my family. I don't have any commitments to my family or anything, though. In fact, I think my family would just be glad to see me make this effort to try to get over my SA. They say that the only way to beat this illness is to put myself into a lot of social situations and slowly allow my body to become acclimated to the social atmosphere. I really want to beat this, and this may be my last chance to have a companion in the recovery process. The worst that can happen is I end up back here where I am right now. I think living in a place where I know absolutely nobody (especially a beautiful place like Denver) will help me because I won't be able to fear seeing old friends when I go out and I will be better able to just be myself. As long as I can find a good doctor to keep my meds going I should be fine. Right now the meds have given me control of my anxiety and after two failed attempts at leaving home I think I'm finally ready to make it work.

Any more suggestions are welcome.


Peace

 

[coriander1992]

I'd say go for it !
Even if only for the short-term? surely your family would have you back if you decided to return?
It would be a great adventure and a chance for you to challenge yourself a bit which might improve your SA
definately go, you might not get the chance again!! :wink:

 

[SilentType]

Thanks coriander I appreciate your advice. At this point I'm really leaning toward making the move. However, my parents aren't too keen on the idea now. They keep telling me how hard it is to live on my own and they can't stop bringing up my past failures of living on my own. I tell them that I really feel like I can get a job now and all they say is "I've heard that before," or something to that effect. I love my family, but I also love myself. I don't know if I can stand another year in the town that I live in. I'm sure my parents would take me back in if things don't work out but if I leave against their wishes and come back I'll feel like even more of a failure. I don't know if I should wait until I have a steady job in a year or to work my ass off until I get to the point where I have that reliable source of income. It's such a mess and I appreciate all of your opinions and advice.


Peace

 

[coriander1992]

Maybe if you are really worried about money and a job while in your new place, you could search for a job there before you go (if you do) and maybe end a few CV's via email to places? or even get your friend to have a look for you and hand your CV out?
If you find something before you go then atleast you don't have to worry about money
Alternatively you could do some temp work now and save all the cash up so you have some money when you get there to last you until you find a job? seeing as you are doing an online course, that should free you up a lot of time during the day, so you could even work full-time maybe (assuming you have no other commitments during the day?) and get a decent amount of money saved up.
Hope some of that is helpful to you :lol: got a bit carried away there! :roll: :lol: