To tell or not?

ciel20

ciel20

Well-known member
I'm 21 and I've never had a boyfriend. Should I not tell anyone this, except close friends? I have friends at uni but we're not close... sometimes I feel like telling the one I'm closest to, in order to be honest about myself, but other times I fear they'll think I'm weird. What do you do, if you're in the same situation?
 
K

klytus

Well-known member
Why would it matter? It's not relevant information for friendships. Honesty is certainly wonderful a trait at times, but you must make the decision to disclose information about you depending on the subject at hand - questions such as "Does it adds greatly to the friendship?" and "Could it make my life worse?" should be reliably answered first in this case. How could telling someone make the friendship better or deeper, more meaningful?

Obviously you think that not having had a boyfriend at your age is something to worry about. It most definitely isn't. You aren't the first and you won't be the last one to be in such a situation.

Apart from that, your love-life is no one's business.
 
richi1173

richi1173

Active member
Don't worry, im in the same shoes. Im 19 and have never kissed, much less had a relationship.

By my experience, its best to keep it to yourself and only with immediate family. I've told some stuff to the people that used to be my friends and I regret it today. They are not my friends anymore and now Im worried that they know something they shouldn't know.
 
Harleyq

Harleyq

Well-known member
I just wouldn't say anything, it's nobody's business but your own. I did that regarding my own relationship and my friends respected that.
 
JCS008

JCS008

Well-known member
Ultimately its up to you. Sure, its tough having people judge you, but it is no one's business but your own. ONce you make your decision, just stand by it and try not to worry what others think. Obviously easier said than done....
 
Nicholas

Nicholas

Well-known member
Same situation here, but I'm 25. I would NEVER tell them because I don't want to admit it, I'm ashamed of it, and it bothers me. I know they would make fun of me, but the truth is that they already know it, I just need to avoid the subject, because they've never seen me with a girl, so what else could they think? Maybe they think I'm gay. Gosh.
 
D

Darker Than Black

Well-known member
I never had a girlfriend, but I want one...:)

I know I can get one no problem, I can ask them out no problem, but I don't talk much, they say girls like guys who can talk..I'm not one of them, damn :(
 
Hoth

Hoth

1
I'm 29 and I've never lied when asked about relationships (never having had one), and I've never seen anyone react negatively to the truth (they're surprised, sure, but nothing negative). What sort of shallow idiots do you spend your time with who it'd be a problem for?

If you treat something like a deep dark horrible secret, then maybe people will start making fun of you for it because you're practically begging them to by showing so much shame. If it's no big deal to you, though, it's much less likely to be a big deal to them.
 
Last edited:
A

AGR

Well-known member
I dont think it will be a problem,now if you are a boy and you dont show up with girls once in a while,you will get a lot of shit.
 
D

DillJenkins

Well-known member
I am male and 23 years old and I have never had GF or ever kissed a chick and had any really close relationship really.

I am honest with people and tell them that its cause I have really bad anxiety. This usually seems to appease their curiosity. I have found that usually people think of much weirder reasons for you not having BF or GF and they are usually very understanding.

Also it gets me some sympathy from women when they find out. Men really do get alot of shit for not having GF at my age. I definitely want one but I cant even begin to understand relationships.

For the past years my right hand has been the only girlfriend ive ever known...lol
 
Outshined

Outshined

Well-known member
I've thought about this alot. I think it's best to not talk about it unless someone asks you. If a friend asks, I don't mind telling them that it's because I have an anxiety problem. When people I don't know as well ask me, then it's hard for me to talk about it.


DillJenkins said:
Men really do get alot of shit for not having GF at my age.
Click to expand...

I'm a couple years younger, but that's still the truth. You can only pull off the single card for so long.
 
Mack_Berserk

Mack_Berserk

Well-known member
Yea, i'm 22. No GF, no relationships, no first kiss.

Having a boyfriend or girlfriend before 21 seems very normal, but you shouldn't stress over it if you have not had one. Focus on what you want to do in life and go for it. Relationships are important, but your first priority should be what you want to do in life.

When you're passionate about a goal in life (i.e., your career), mature men/women find that attractive. Or at least that's the theory ;)
I guess the idea is self-improvement.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top