The Unwritten Rules of Society

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

Do you know what they are? Do you obey them? Do you agree with them? Do you understand them?

I just spent a little time researching this while I'm waiting for the dryer to buzz. I found a number of lists, many of which had rules I thought were just silly and likely made up on the spot.

This was the most comprehensive list I've found so far: Society's Unwritten Rules | First Page | Forum | Gaia Online

"1. Don't stare at fellow commuters on public transportation."

There's also these: Unwritten rules of "American Society" - Ars Technica OpenForum

"1. Tip waiters at least %15"

40 Unwritten Rules to Live By

"1. Never ask a woman if she wants to have sex by asking her if she wants to have sex."

^Hah! :bigsmile:


I also found an interesting blog by a guy with Asperger syndrome who is trying to understand them all, here: Unwritten Rules | Society's Unwritten Rules explained for people with ASD

Maybe we could compile a list of our own. It certainly can be confusing, and a lot of us really have no clue.

 

[IntheLabyrinth]

I say just stick with the golden rule.

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

I say just stick with the golden rule.

The golden rule doesn't always work, especially if there are demographic differences between two people.

A guy in his 20's is much less likely to take offense when being asked about his age than a woman in her 40's. Or their weight, for that matter.

"Never ask a women if she's pregnant" obviously doesn't even apply to guys.

Different people have different ideas on hugging and touching. It all gets rather complicated.

 

[IntheLabyrinth]

The golden rule doesn't always work, especially if there are demographic differences between two people. A guy in his 20's is much less likely to take offense when being asked about his age than a woman in her 40's. Or their weight, for that matter. "Never ask a women if she's pregnant" obviously doesn't even apply to guys. Different people have different ideas on hugging and touching. It all gets rather complicated.

Okay, then how about the platinum rule (treat others how they would like to be treated). It's definitely an improvement, but my last job used to use it as part of their brainwashing motivational seminars so I hate using it.

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

That still assumes you know what they expect or want of you--that you know the protocol. I had no idea tipping 15% was standard until someone told me, for example.

 

[IntheLabyrinth]

Well, in that case, my suggestion will not work.