The path of least anxiety- stop caring and stop trying

Lately I've realized that I keep my anxiety levels low by simply not attempting the things that cause me the most anxiety, and convincing myself that I don't care that I haven't accomplished whatever that happens to be. But it seems that my "tolerance" for anxiety is getting lower and lower. I know this isn't healthy, but I just can't even think about trying to do certain things (like apply for jobs, make phone calls, talk to people I don't know, etc.). Can anyone else relate?

lurknomore said: ↑

Lately I've realized that I keep my anxiety levels low by simply not attempting the things that cause me the most anxiety, and convincing myself that I don't care that I haven't accomplished whatever that happens to be. But it seems that my "tolerance" for anxiety is getting lower and lower. I know this isn't healthy, but I just can't even think about trying to do certain things (like apply for jobs, make phone calls, talk to people I don't know, etc.). Can anyone else relate?

Yes, I used to do that. That's basically just hiding... Like old people do at Winter due to the fear of getting sick.
You can for sure lower your anxiety doing that, but depression will hit hard when you least expect, be ready for that. Everything has a price...

I've had depression for most of my life... it seems like I've always been on an anxiety/depression pendulum. But I'm afraid I'm getting to the point of truly not caring... at least about some things. What I need to not care about is what other people might be thinking about me, but that's the one thing that I just can't seem to do.

Hi lurknomore, I can relate. I would call this avoidance. I've stopped going places or doing things which I would know raise my anxiety levels. That is why I live such an uneventful life.

i find that this does nothing for me. cuzz as soon as i step out in the real world the anxiety comes back again. i need to know how to overcome anxiety weather i accept it to beat it or try to fight to beat it. i know that sound confusing but i heard you should accept those feelings & embrace it. idk what that mean tho.

Yes, I can relate. This is called AvPD. lol

Staying at home def reduces my anxiety levels

The central point here is that your tolerance for anxiety is getting lower and lower because you are simply not attempting the things that cause you the most anxiety.

By not attempting them, and so not experiencing them, you are not getting the chance to discover that it is not so bad. You never know for sure unless you put it to the test. In the absence of experience, your imagination fills in the gaps with something that is worse than real-life. As for everyone, not everything will be not so bad, but it will be a lesser percentage than what your imagination projects.

This is a central tenet of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy: avoidance increases anxiety in the long-term, even though you may think otherwise.

lurknomore said: ↑

Lately I've realized that I keep my anxiety levels low by simply not attempting the things that cause me the most anxiety, and convincing myself that I don't care that I haven't accomplished whatever that happens to be. But it seems that my "tolerance" for anxiety is getting lower and lower. I know this isn't healthy, but I just can't even think about trying to do certain things (like apply for jobs, make phone calls, talk to people I don't know, etc.). Can anyone else relate?

lurknomore.
What you have written is a positive step in recovery.

You understand that you can only hide for so long before the anxiety levels creep up.
Something you should of done, avoided it now your mind won't stop thinking about it...right.

Look at the range of emotions.
fear, anxiety, nervous, panic, excitement, fail etc

You know these emotions will run through your mind because you have no control over them.

If you remain CALM at all times you can keep these emotions contained.

Once you have left the situation do not entertain any undoing thoughts or you will unlock these emotions.

Even if you experiment by staying calm at the situation- that's all nothing else.
It may take a few times but you will see the inner strength you have.

Sure you will have after thoughts, just work on being calm.
Once you start to get p8ssed off with after thoughts then work on them.

One postive step at a time.

staying home is the only way I can relax. At school I feel tense and I have a very stern look on my face all the time, I can never loosen up. I'm afraid to have a good time. I hate seeing others have a good time.

I am a master of The Path of Least Anxiety. I can weasle my way out of any anxiety-inducing situation with little to no subsequent backlash later on. problem is, it's turned me into a monster. i'll use the stern expression excessivly like Fitftw does, come across as an unapproachable person in general, won't care about what anybody thinks. if you can accept the monster you'll become, then you can make do with this whole path of least anxiety mentality. for me, i've been doing it so long i've begun to worry about people seeing me as just a false, hard-shelled, hollow, pathetic man. i've slowly started trying to be social, just to challenge myself, like it was a game. i still got the "i dont' care what pple think" mentality, but now i'm trying a different path, if only for *&^%s and giggles:cool:.

Yeah, I've been riding that path for a few years.🙄 I still do. I always will.

Ignace said: ↑

Yeah, I've been riding that path for a few years.🙄 I still do. I always will.

Wow, that is a dogmatic attitude 😮.

It is not healthy to do that.

hoddesdon said: ↑

Wow, that is a dogmatic attitude 😮.

It is not healthy to do that.

"I'm riding the path now, but I'm improving myself, going to a party today. 🙂"

Is that any better ? :😛: For me it isn't, just lying to myself.🙄

lurknomore said: ↑

Lately I've realized that I keep my anxiety levels low by simply not attempting the things that cause me the most anxiety, and convincing myself that I don't care that I haven't accomplished whatever that happens to be. But it seems that my "tolerance" for anxiety is getting lower and lower. I know this isn't healthy, but I just can't even think about trying to do certain things (like apply for jobs, make phone calls, talk to people I don't know, etc.). Can anyone else relate?

Yeah I can relate to some of it, especially over the last couple months. I know what you mean when you say "I just can't even think about trying to do certain things." You worded what I was trying to figure out over the last month or two, it spot on for me. I have become much less anxious as a whole recently because I have been avoiding things more then ever, either because I've become lazy or I know that it would be easier not to do those things, just to hide away in my room, which probably means my "tolerance" to it is decreasing because I'm just avoiding them, and once I get put into a situation I can't avoid it will be worse then before. Sorry if I went off topic to what you were trying to say at all, but I can relate (can't find the words to what I want to say).

Thanks for the replies. I guess it just hit home to me that this is what I've been doing my entire life from such a young age that I don't know how to behave otherwise. Therapy time... too bad I don't have the money.

lurknomore said: ↑

Lately I've realized that I keep my anxiety levels low by simply not attempting the things that cause me the most anxiety, and convincing myself that I don't care that I haven't accomplished whatever that happens to be. But it seems that my "tolerance" for anxiety is getting lower and lower. I know this isn't healthy, but I just can't even think about trying to do certain things (like apply for jobs, make phone calls, talk to people I don't know, etc.). Can anyone else relate?

lurknomore said: ↑

I've had depression for most of my life... it seems like I've always been on an anxiety/depression pendulum. But I'm afraid I'm getting to the point of truly not caring... at least about some things. What I need to not care about is what other people might be thinking about me, but that's the one thing that I just can't seem to do.

I can totally relate to this^:🙁:
I have had therapy, but while it improved things in the short term, most of my past behaviour (hiding in my house) returned. I have now regressed back to how I was before I got the therapy.:🙁:

lurknomore said: ↑

Lately I've realized that I keep my anxiety levels low by simply not attempting the things that cause me the most anxiety, and convincing myself that I don't care that I haven't accomplished whatever that happens to be. But it seems that my "tolerance" for anxiety is getting lower and lower. I know this isn't healthy, but I just can't even think about trying to do certain things (like apply for jobs, make phone calls, talk to people I don't know, etc.). Can anyone else relate?

Bit by bit anxiety will close around you, forcing you in a corner. You must do the opposite. Bit by bit expand yourself out into your anxiety - it will gradually give way and your territory will increase. Don't think 'apply for jobs', instead think '1.buy newspaper > 2.look at job ads > 3.start resume > 4.do more resume > etc > etc'. Each is a small easy-ish step that will start to push your anxiety away and get you moving forward.

hoddesdon said: ↑

The central point here is that your tolerance for anxiety is getting lower and lower because you are simply not attempting the things that cause you the most anxiety.

By not attempting them, and so not experiencing them, you are not getting the chance to discover that it is not so bad. You never know for sure unless you put it to the test. In the absence of experience, your imagination fills in the gaps with something that is worse than real-life. As for everyone, not everything will be not so bad, but it will be a lesser percentage than what your imagination projects.

This is a central tenet of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy: avoidance increases anxiety in the long-term, even though you may think otherwise.

This is very good advice. I will take it a step further and tell you something he didn't. The path you are on is a ticket to a living hell. Constantly turning away from things that are frightening for you is constantly being defeated. Each time you do this whether you want to admit or not, your state of mind and your self esteem are taking a blow. Its negativity compounding on more negativity, like a snow ball going down a hill. I have struggled with this for a decade now and have truly lived in hell at times because of it. If you keep doing this you will start to find that your safe places are dissapearing one by one. Until one day you realize they are all gone. Where as doing things that are challenging is a victory, sure it sucks when you do it, (especially if you are prone to panic attacks like yours truly) but when you are done it is a victory, your state of mind and your self esteem are boosted, your safe places get safer and even start to multipy after a while. I know I am sounding preachy, but I really don't want to see you walk down the same road I have. :🙁:

fitftw said: ↑

staying home is the only way I can relax. At school I feel tense and I have a very stern look on my face all the time, I can never loosen up. I'm afraid to have a good time. I hate seeing others have a good time.

Me too. People often ask me if I'm okay because of my stern look.