The Key to Overcoming SA

DanielLewis

Well-known member
All of us on this site struggle with SA and most of us want to overcome it because it decreases your quality of life in a number of ways. I'm here to figure out how to overcome SA by discussing the topic with others. I'm not here to talk about anything else besides beating SA because doing so, in my opinion, hinders your success. This is because, by visiting this site to 'socialize', you're confirming in your mind with each visit that you have SA. While it's okay to admit to this, to do so repeatedly without the coupling of a strict intent to overcome SA, it's damaging to the mind. I believe it's just confirming over and over again in your mind that you have SA, thus reinforcing and ingraining that belief deeper and deeper. And, as you probably know, what we believes shapes who we are and how we behave. So, while you may think I'm reading into this too deeply or the wrong way, I think it has a real negative psychological impact.

What makes us who we are as humans? What shapes our future? I would say our thoughts, feelings, and actions. Most characterize SA as a feeling. It's that feeling of discomfort or, say, inferiority you get when you're in a social situation. What causes these feelings? Actions and thoughts do. Now, I don't know about the more complex side of this issue, but what I do know is that actions and thoughts have a significant influence on feelings. So, while you may feel that you have no control over you feelings of SA, you do because you have control over your actions and thoughts which influences how you feel. Now, you might just argue that, once exposed to a social situation, there is no control that you have over SA; It just happens. I would bet my finger, however, that, in that moment, you're thinking and doing things that contribute to SA, not alleviate it. It's a fact, for example, that smiling boosts your mood. I know that tends not to do much of a difference, but it helps, even in the slightest.

Success is about preparation. Therefore, in order to prevent SA from occurring or to alleviate it in any given social situation, you need to prepare beforehand. It's about all the actions you've been taking and thoughts you've been thinking before that will shape how you feel in that one particular moment. This beforehand preparation is far more important than what you attempt to do in that one moment. That one moment will just be a reflection of your prior preparation.

So, in conclusion, in order to beat SA, take complete control over your thoughts and actions. If you find yourself thinking anything negative, get rid of it or replace it with something positive that you believe immediately. For example, I've noticed that I sometimes look for fault in others or compare myself to them and feel inferior which are both negative ways of thinking. Both produce bad feelings. I also notice that I'm too focused on self a lot. I want to shift my focus from self to others and external environment so I can react more naturally to what's going on around me instead of being too inside of my head. These are the negative habits I've created that I need to change by taking conscious control over my thoughts. As far as bad habitual actions go, I notice I sometimes tend to look away from someone quickly if I'm looking at them and they look at me, and even if they smile. It comes from a place of feeling inferior and unconfident and it looks bad. It lets them know that you're unconfident. Once you start to reform how you think and what you do habitually (start getting out of the house into more social situations), you'll begin to change. SA will eventually be conquered, but it takes time and dedication.
 
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Moses199

Well-known member
I know what you mean, there isn't enough focus on SA forums on beating it. I think there should be a thread exclusively for discussion on overcoming it. Even better a forum.
 

Sacrament

Well-known member
Anxiety is practicing failure in advance. Anxiety is needless and imaginary. It's fear about fear, fear that means nothing. - Seth Godin
 
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