The journal that will never exist

Section_31

Well-known member
This journal doesn't exist. nowhere else.

It will never be acknowledged in the real world. Discussed.

This is the part of me that doesn't exist to the real world around me. Very few seldom see the whole me. But here it is. Enter my world.

Names aren't discussed. nor are ages, locations. Identifiers. Because such things can sometimes follow you back to the real world. And suddenly your inner world becomes part of the outer world. And that's something that people seldom want.

Maybe you know me. Maybe you don't. But spend enough time here, and you'll come to. Im sorry that I cant elaborate more, but its necessary to protect myself just now. Maybe in time you'll learn more. But for now, due to circumstance in my life, info I post here is on a need to know basis.

As my first posting, ill say that today for me personally is a red letter day. a good day. not only have I established this journal, but something else ive been waiting for a long time has finally gotten here. So at least my first post is a positive one.

Many others im afraid wont be so.

Harder times to come.
 

w*n*c*a*m

Well-known member
I like this non-existing journal. Therefore, this reply doesn't exist too.
Looking forward to entries that will not exist. :p
 

neardeath

Well-known member
Well, im feeling good this morning. Happier than I have in a long time. I woke up today realizing that yesterday was not in fact a dream and that what ive been waiting for for so long finally got here. Its so crazy and both me and the HVI are really happy and excited.

Theres another thing coming. darker. unhappy. nothing to do with the HVI. Ive nicknamed it "operation purple heart". It will suck. but ill force myself to become stronger as a result of it.

I know many here don't believe in a higher power. And I know many do. Ive been running into a lot of small things lately. Coincidences. Feelings. Certain parts of what people say. Certain unrelated events happening that sort of shift things towards a different path. And its made me stop and go "huh!" quite a bit lately. Maybe my dear brother is trying to tell me something from beyond. maybe its me interpreting it like that wishing it was so. Maybe its the great creator moving my chesspiece around on his cosmic board and im seeing the changing move coming. Or maybe im simply overthinking and connecting dots where there really are none. Coincidences happen. I personally believe in something. I don't know what exactly. but something bigger than myself and this reality, this time continuum. And while I cant go into details, and im aware im being VERY vague, deep down I feel like it might be something trying to steer me in a direction. And it feels right. Scary, terrifying even. Make no mistake. But that doesn't necessarily mean its bad for me. If anything its a good opportunity for growth. For too long ive let my anxiety and fears define who I am. And for once im changing that.

There's something real about that. Right after my partner died, a whole string of coincidences began and it continued for a few weeks. It was like God was around every corner, weird as that sounds. Glad you're feeling so well!
 

neardeath

Well-known member
When I moved almost two years ago I went through every item. Every item in every junk drawer, every piece of paper in the files. I got rid of truckloads. Gave most of it away. Now everything I own fits in a 14' U-Haul, plus my car and kayak. It was the most freeing thing I ever did in my life.

The problem is, each item has emotional connection and each one is a decision. Go slow and take your time, or you will lose your mind! :eek:
 

neardeath

Well-known member
Pretty cool deal with the woman at work.

I believe in love at first sight, and the best relationship I ever had started like that. Take it slow. Take it easy. Enjoy.

Nice to hear someone having a great experience.
 

neardeath

Well-known member
Well I went to the hospital. Just to be safer instead of sorry. Turns out I was having a kidney spasm brought on by stress. Can kidneys even spasm?? Seriously!.

Glad it's not a stone!!!

Hope all is well. Kidney pain is the worst. Then they think you're there for drugs (they think everyone is) so you just endure the pain. Feel better, man.
 

neardeath

Well-known member
I wish I knew how to help. It sounds like you know in your heart it's the right thing to do. Prayers and good thoughts going out for you.
 
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