My parents don`t know about my sp and I don`t want them to find it out. They are the only people I can communicate with other than some of my other close relatives. They think that I have a social life, lots of friends and so on. The reality is I haven`t had even a single friend for 4 years now. They think that I will have a successful life a good job and a family after I graduate, but I know that will never happen. It makes things worse as it puts lots of pressure on me. Anyone in the same situation? how do you deal with it?
SP and high expectations of family
- Thread starter oxygene
- Start date
VioletTears
Well-known member
I think that I actually created high expectations for myself within my family by always trying to pretend that I was okay and trying to be "perfect."
So how did I cope with that? I got my BA and graduated suma cum laude, I married the first guy who I ever dated (even though he initially didn't treat me well), I moved into a cute little house and fixed it up to make it perfect, too, I got a job teaching preschool, I had a baby....
Meanwhile... I feel incapable of my job, I trash the house I worked so hard to create, I barely talk to my husband and instead withdraw into my own little world, I adore my son but worry about letting him down because of my depression and anxiety. I don't even feel like I can safely drive yet I do because it's expected... So in the end I sit home each night wishing I didn't have to face another day, cutting myself, thinking about suicide... I guess the moral of the story is, "becoming" what people want won't really make things great if you are broken underneath... You have to fix yourself and thn figure out what YOU want... but yes, it's hard to just ignore what other people think... Especially family...
So how did I cope with that? I got my BA and graduated suma cum laude, I married the first guy who I ever dated (even though he initially didn't treat me well), I moved into a cute little house and fixed it up to make it perfect, too, I got a job teaching preschool, I had a baby....
Meanwhile... I feel incapable of my job, I trash the house I worked so hard to create, I barely talk to my husband and instead withdraw into my own little world, I adore my son but worry about letting him down because of my depression and anxiety. I don't even feel like I can safely drive yet I do because it's expected... So in the end I sit home each night wishing I didn't have to face another day, cutting myself, thinking about suicide... I guess the moral of the story is, "becoming" what people want won't really make things great if you are broken underneath... You have to fix yourself and thn figure out what YOU want... but yes, it's hard to just ignore what other people think... Especially family...