Sexual Harassment Story

Kathryn

Well-known member
There's this boy in my chemistry class...he always comes to my lab table and talks to my lab partner a lot. He's always flirting with her and being really dirty, saying things like," so when are you gonna give it up?" I can tell she gets really annoyed, but instead of defending her I stand mute.
After a while he started doing things to me, too. He asked me one day," so can you be the girl I talk to every day?" ....I barely shook my head ,"no." Lately he's been...touching me. He'll swing by our lab table almost every day and feel my sweater. One time he even patted my head.....like I was his little puppy.....
It's really embarassing because I know everyone else is watching...but I can barely open my mouth to defend myself. I don't know what to do, and I'm afraid he'll rape me or something.
..Advice?
 

Helyna

Well-known member
Ick.
I'm nobody to ask because I didn't manage to deal with being harassed, either. Fortunately the boy only came to me when I was in certain company, so I finally got the courage to find somewhere else to eat lunch. And I never manage to help my friends, really.
The best thing would be to tell the teacher. There should be strong rules about sexual harassment. Your lab partner might appreciate it, too.
More difficult advice to follow would be something like: look him in the eye and tell him to get a life. Or at least look him in the eye.
He won't rape you. I promise.
 

michael122

Active member
yeah I would tell one of the teachers or counslers and if you're brave enough tell him that he's making you uncomfortable and that you would like him to stop what he's doing.
 

weak

Well-known member
Kathryn said:
I don't know what to do, and I'm afraid he'll rape me or something.
..Advice?

lol what? how does him patting you on the head give you the idea he's gonna rape you? That's absurd.

He's obviously just trying to flirt with you or be friends. Everything you've described sounds like standard behavior for teenage boys.. and it doesnt sound like any ill will is intended. If you're not interested, all you gotta say is "can you please leave me alone".

Or of course.. you can always go to the teacher and tell em you think your classmate is trying to rape you.

But FYI - if you go to the teacher and complain about this kid, the teacher is gonna pull him aside and talk to him about it. Judging from what you said, the kid probably has no idea what he's doing is making you feel uncomfortable and he's just gonna think you're being a bitch and trying to get him in trouble for no reason at all.. and this will most likely result in retaliation.. IE: him and his friends making fun of you and giving you shit after school. That's the way it usually goes.

So just try vocalizing your feelings and take it from there.
 

Remus

Moderator
Staff member
if he tries it any further just knee him in the balls, so far it seems like usual teenage male flirting (inexperienced and clumsy)
 

Helyna

Well-known member
weak said:
Kathryn said:
I don't know what to do, and I'm afraid he'll rape me or something.
..Advice?

lol what? how does him patting you on the head give you the idea he's gonna rape you? That's absurd.
Be understanding. I mean, don't tell me you've never had your imagination running away with you and felt like it was real. No, I don't think he's going to go past this. I'm pretty sure he's a coward and wouldn't do anything more.

weak said:
But FYI - if you go to the teacher and complain about this kid, the teacher is gonna pull him aside and talk to him about it. Judging from what you said, the kid probably has no idea what he's doing is making you feel uncomfortable and he's just gonna think you're being a bitch and trying to get him in trouble for no reason at all.. and this will most likely result in retaliation.. IE: him and his friends making fun of you and giving you shit after school. That's the way it usually goes.
If he doesn't know, then he needs to find out. This is not acceptable at all!
 

weak

Well-known member
I didn't say it was acceptable. I'm just pointing out the reality of the situation. When you tell on someone at school, that persons naturally gonna want to retaliate. It usually only makes the situation worse, especially with the 'victim' is hyper sensitive.

And I am being understanding. She's making some pretty serious statements on a public forum and if she honestly believes this person could potentially rape her then she needs to go the school police officer immediately.
 

Helyna

Well-known member
weak said:
I didn't say it was acceptable. I'm just pointing out the reality of the situation. When you tell on someone at school, that persons naturally gonna want to retaliate. It usually only makes the situation worse, especially with the 'victim' is hyper sensitive.
Oh, I get it. I thought you were saying that he wouldn't understand that what he was doing was wrong.
(Last night, I had a dream that started off with someone getting unreasonably insulted because I called him out on something inappropriate he did - obviously from what I thought you'd said. Turned out he was actually threatening to kill me because he was a vampire and wanted my blood - obviously from Twilight. So that started an unusually intense running-away dream. Fortunately, the vampires weren't faster than I was, and I had friends who had some kind of weapons. And it turned out that the vampires were terrified of oreo filling, so we got away in the end. :lol: )

One of my friends was telling me today at lunch that the boy who harassed me is now picking on the girl who sits behind her in one of her classes. When she tried standing up for the girl, he asked if she wanted to be the one he annoyed! She doesn't think he really will start on her, though, and I'm actually glad I'm not the only one.

Anyway, how to get around him denying it. I see two ways.
1. You tell the teacher and ask him/her to watch for a few days without doing anything so he/she can see it.
2. You get your lab partner on your side. Ask her if she wants to tell the teacher about it. If she says yes, offer to go with her, even if just to stand there. If she says no, ask if she'll back you if you tell.
 

Twirl

Member
Kathryn, if the guy seriously makes you uncomfortable then you need to tell him so. Do not second guess yourself. Simply say "You are making me uncomfortable. Please don't do that again." If it happens again, you need to report him to whomever is in charge at the time it occurs. Your teacher. Your principal. Whomever.

Weak, what poor advice you give. Kathryn is uncomfortable. Her feelings are legitimate. The boys intentions are not her concern. She needs to express her feelings of discomfort to the boy and if he does not listen, she should express them to the appropriate authority figure. It is reckless to suggest otherwise.
 

dpr

Well-known member
Nobody has the right to touch you if you don't want them to. Just force yourself to tell him: "I don't like you touching me, and I didn't say you could. So don't touch me."

If he does it again, go to the principal or the cops. Because once you have told him you don't want him touching you, him touching you again = harassment. That's the law, in my country anyway.

I know it's hard to speak up for yourself, but if you don't, he will think, "Maybe I can get away with more," and it will only get worse for you.
 

weak

Well-known member
Twirl said:
Weak, what poor advice you give. She needs to express her feelings of discomfort to the boy and if he does not listen, she should express them to the appropriate authority figure. It is reckless to suggest otherwise.

learn to read

weak said:
If you're not interested, all you gotta say is "can you please leave me alone".

weak said:
Just try vocalizing your feelings and take it from there.

weak said:
if she honestly believes this person could potentially rape her then she needs to go the school police officer immediately.

and I stand by what I said in regards to the consequences of complaining to a teacher about a person without first informing that person of how you feel...... otherwise he's likely going to misunderstand the situation and assume that Kathryn was just deliberately trying to get him in trouble for no reason at all (from his perspective). And then Kathryn's gonna end up getting called a bitch (or worse) for the remainder of the year by all his friends.

So theres that scenario or she could just say the word "stop". One word... works 95% of the time. Amazing right?
 

Kathryn

Well-known member
Well it has been better lately because he hasn't talked to me. I usually hide by reading a book, so hopefully that will keep him away. If he does it again I will try to say somthing

uhh my sister told me that girls at my school get
raped all the time...in the bathrooms, but sorry if that sounded paranoid of me =/
 

Helyna

Well-known member
Kathryn said:
uhh my sister told me that girls at my school get
raped all the time...in the bathrooms, but sorry if that sounded paranoid of me =/
One of two things
1. You have an incredibly disorganized and dangerous school without good rules or enforcement
2. Your sister is mistaken or trying to scare you.
I stand by the second.
 
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