Scared to work with the opposite gender

[jryden]

I am scared to have a job working with anyone period but its more scary to me working with males.
I dont want a male boss, male coworkers who I have to deal with often.

There might be a deeper issue behind it but idk what it is.

I am not close to my dad. We 'talk' 4-5 times a yr. I have a younger brother who i dont talk to that much. I dont date, dont have male friends.
I just feel uncomfortable around men.

 

[jaim38]

Yep, this pretty much describes me. I feel uncomfortable around men too, no offense to all the guys out there. I wish I know how to act around guys without making them think I am awkward/shy/flirting/weak.

Strangely enough, I feel better around gay guys and/or guys with feminine features and attitudes.

 

[MNM322]

I am all the same except I don't feel uncomfortable around them, maybe I should, because I seem to always "Scare" them away anyway

 

[DeadmanWalking]

Your feelings may simply be because you haven't had much exposure to males. Males are "new" and "unknown" to you, so you may not know what to say/do and that makes you scared. But avoiding males is next to impossible unless you join a convent or something. You can limit how much you interact with them if you truly, honestly don't want to talk to men. But, if you wish to fight this, then you most likely should just find a male friend to talk to. Look around your area for groups that you relate to and find a male within that group to conversate with.

But, remember, this is all based on what you've said. I don't really know you. If you want, you could go talk to someone about your feelings concerning men and diagnose it.

 

[Dark angel]

Wow. Im just exactly the same. Currently Im not working but everytime I have to talk to someone of the opposite gender my mind goes blank or I get EXTREMELY anxious and nervious. I dont know why that is. I have a brother who is 3 years older than me and we have a very good relationship, but I grew up without a father figure. It must be that.

 

[jryden]

Wow. Im just exactly the same. Currently Im not working but everytime I have to talk to someone of the opposite gender my mind goes blank or I get EXTREMELY anxious and nervious. I dont know why that is. I have a brother who is 3 years older than me and we have a very good relationship, but I grew up without a father figure. It must be that.

I think so too. Growing up without a father can affect us in several ways.

Does wanting to date older guys have anything to do with this..lol

 

[surewhynot]

I think so too. Growing up without a father can affect us in several ways.

Does wanting to date older guys have anything to do with this..lol

Actually, yes. That's pretty much exactly what Sigmund Freud would say.

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

I grew up without a father and without a mother for a long time, too.
I was a tomboy, though-- more comfortable playing with boys than with girls.

But due to experiences as I got a little older, I am probably more afraid of boys than I am of girls. More intimidated. Also, very aware of how different we are.

There are work environments that call for one gender more than the other-- you could seek that out but eventually, you will have to learn to work around/with the male population.
Desensitization is a scary concept but it works for the most part. Working with a few guys and getting used to them could help you with your fear.
Just know your personal boundaries and tell people when they're overstepping them and making you uncomfortable.
You should feel safe when you are at work.

 

[jryden]

IWorking with a few guys and getting used to them could help you with your fear.

This is what I want. I know I cant avoid them and I dont want to. But I want to start being around a few then when i get comfortable, i wont care either way.

 

[coyote]

try the women's retail clothing industry

it's mostly women until you get into senior management or the guys in shipping

unless you're lucky, like me, and get to be the only man working with all women =^]

(although, strictly speaking, my company isn't just women's retail, since we sell men's clothing, too)

 

[Pacific_Loner]

Your feelings may simply be because you haven't had much exposure to males.

I agree with that, for me it's just the opposite - I've been hanging out mostly with guys and I have no idea how to act with girls

 

[Dark angel]

I think so too. Growing up without a father can affect us in several ways.

Does wanting to date older guys have anything to do with this..lol

Actually, I tend to feel attracted to older men generally, not always, as my preference may vary from time to time, but it usually inclines to older men. So yes, I think that everything is related.

 

[jaim38]

Actually, I tend to feel attracted to older men generally, not always, as my preference may vary from time to time, but it usually inclines to older men. So yes, I think that everything is related.

Yes, I gravitate towards older men too, probably because I don't have a good male role model in my life. Many of the men that I meet in my life have mistreated me, bullied me, or weren't strong enough to deal with their own problems.

 

[Helmaninquiel]

See I am the complete opposite, I don't like being around females, well okay not entirely true cause I'm used to mostly being around females in my family. I just don't like the bitchy, vindictive females. Okay to make it easier I don't like being around anyone that has it's foot up there butt. lol