SA sufferers may lack empathy

Diend

Well-known member
What I noticed about myself when I had SA was that I thought everyone else had their life together. It wasn't until I made a best friend that I realized that everyone has insecurities. I also had a solipsistic view of the world. I thought my parents were just robots built to serve my needs. I thought cashiers were the same. I could not make the connection that everyone has a life history just like me, of ups and downs. Everyone else is a human being just like me. Realizing that my fear of people turned into empathy.
 

MollyBeGood

Well-known member
I am not sure I agree. I have zero empathy for myself and so much for everyone else. I can easily find myself lost in emotion for a complete stranger, where as my own struggles I minimize. I almost always gave my parents the benefit of the doubt and I am very forgiving of their mistakes in raising me. When I am in public I feel sorry for people and try my best to make their lives easier (cashiers) for their interactions with me. I guess I am completely opposite of you in this view. I know everyone has their insecurities but they are much better at masking them with their egos than I am. I have very little ego. I actually like this about myself and others who posses this quality, but it is pretty rare in today's world.
 

Megaten

Well-known member
Tbh I think thats true to an extent. Though I think most people have problems with empathy. For example those without SA cant seem to relate to those that do and get fed up. And those with SA like to think that people without it are devoid of social fears.
 

hoddesdon

Well-known member
Well, without wanting to be offensive, what you have described sounds more like narcissism. There was one person on this site who ascribed SA to realizing that she was a narcissist; in her case one caused the other.
 

THeCARS1979

Well-known member
I am not sure I agree. I have zero empathy for myself and so much for everyone else. I can easily find myself lost in emotion for a complete stranger, where as my own struggles I minimize. I almost always gave my parents the benefit of the doubt and I am very forgiving of their mistakes in raising me. When I am in public I feel sorry for people and try my best to make their lives easier (cashiers) for their interactions with me. I guess I am completely opposite of you in this view. I know everyone has their insecurities but they are much better at masking them with their egos than I am. I have very little ego. I actually like this about myself and others who posses this quality, but it is pretty rare in today's world.

yeah i agree with you , people do have big egos which causes me to dislike certain people, and i dont have the patience for it anymore
 

Argentum

Well-known member
I have excess empathy, actually.

Neither I nor the average person with social phobia is lazy, selfish, doesn't know how to be alone, has no real problems to worry about, or any other "alternative" "solutions" that get passed around as "helpful" or "informative".
 

Bronson99

Well-known member
Everybody has problems, sure, and I can often empathize based on this fact. But I don't have empathy for everyone... least of all the "normal" people who think life is a race, everything is about winning, etc. That's how I see "normal people".. some of them, anyway. It is hard for me to empathize when they seem to try and force this view on you, and make you feel left out, if you don't share it. It's even worse when they show overt arrogance. Sorry, cannot empathize with that, even if they have their own personhood, their own problems, and such.

(I guess with all that said, one would conclude I do lack empathy...?)
 

SmileMore

Well-known member
What I noticed about myself when I had SA was that I thought everyone else had their life together. It wasn't until I made a best friend that I realized that everyone has insecurities. I also had a solipsistic view of the world. I thought my parents were just robots built to serve my needs. I thought cashiers were the same. I could not make the connection that everyone has a life history just like me, of ups and downs. Everyone else is a human being just like me. Realizing that my fear of people turned into empathy.

Sorry but that is utter garbage. I'm the total opposite.
 

nicole1

Well-known member
I have excess empathy, actually.

Neither I nor the average person with social phobia is lazy, selfish, doesn't know how to be alone, has no real problems to worry about, or any other "alternative" "solutions" that get passed around as "helpful" or "informative".

I'm not sure how true this is for the "average" person with SA/SP. This site is filled with post that are in disagreement with this. If this were true, I don't believe any of us would be here. We all experience things differently. Having SA/SP might be limiting more so to some than others. And yes, some of us have had to find "alternative solutions" in life in order to survive. (By survive, I mean having enough money to live on.)


I also have tons of empathy. You might've meant sympathy. I think some of us might lack sympathy.
 

Argentum

Well-known member
I'm not sure how true this is for the "average" person with SA/SP. This site is filled with post that are in disagreement with this. If this were true, I don't believe any of us would be here. We all experience things differently. Having SA/SP might be limiting more so to some than others. And yes, some of us have had to find "alternative solutions" in life in order to survive. (By survive, I mean having enough money to live on.)

I also have tons of empathy. You might've meant sympathy. I think some of us might lack sympathy.

Just speaking to the regular stream of content on sites like these claiming we're like this for x, y, or z personal flaw. Everyone seems to talk like their personal flaws are what's behind other people's anxiety or depression, or like personal flaws are what's behind it in the first place.
 

Deco

Well-known member
Despite my SA, I have a lot of empathy and I help many people without asking for
anything back.
Imho, it's hard to say that most people who suffer from SA lack empathy.
 
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Megaten

Well-known member
Well, without wanting to be offensive, what you have described sounds more like narcissism. There was one person on this site who ascribed SA to realizing that she was a narcissist; in her case one caused the other.

Maybe thats the right word then. I was looking around the web and it looks like SA is tied to having too much empathy. :idontknow:
 
Well, without wanting to be offensive, what you have described sounds more like narcissism. There was one person on this site who ascribed SA to realizing that she was a narcissist; in her case one caused the other.

That´s what I think as well. Not all SA sufferers are the same, you can only speak for yourself which you also do. I definitely don´t regard my parents or cashiers as robots which are here only to serve my needs. I am glad you improved though.
 

Auburn

Active member
I am not sure I agree. I have zero empathy for myself and so much for everyone else. I can easily find myself lost in emotion for a complete stranger, where as my own struggles I minimize. I almost always gave my parents the benefit of the doubt and I am very forgiving of their mistakes in raising me. When I am in public I feel sorry for people and try my best to make their lives easier (cashiers) for their interactions with me. I guess I am completely opposite of you in this view. I know everyone has their insecurities but they are much better at masking them with their egos than I am. I have very little ego. I actually like this about myself and others who posses this quality, but it is pretty rare in today's world.

I completely agree with you too ^-^
 

Sacrament

Well-known member
On one hand, it might appear as though someone with SA lacks empathy, because they tend to believe that the end of the world's just around the corner and so on. They're so focused on their own constant streams of negative thoughts and feelings that they forget the feelings and emotions of others. On the other hand, I am easily and empathetically embarassed for others when I see them making fools of themselves, or even when they themselves don't care about other people's opinions. For instance, when I watch this video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4KbjXPw70LQ I instantly feel embarassed for them, because there are people in the background clearly watching them dance to that absurd song. I care more about the supposed the embarassment than they ever did!
 

Goblinko

Active member
Hmm, I don't feel like this at all. In fact, my personality tends to be as much as generous as possible, almost verging on the so called "people pleaser". :idontknow:

I believe it's a case of personality, you know.
 

nicole1

Well-known member
Just speaking to the regular stream of content on sites like these claiming we're like this for x, y, or z personal flaw. Everyone seems to talk like their personal flaws are what's behind other people's anxiety or depression, or like personal flaws are what's behind it in the first place.

That's the interesting part: how our SA/SP has influenced us in certain ways; it's caused by certain things in our lives; and, like in your case perhaps, it's made no impact in any way or was not caused by anything. Some of us share a struggle while others have done pretty well despite. Those who struggle may need a bit of a nudge in the form of knowledge and resources. I don't think that a person has SA/SP and that's it and that there are no more issues surrounding it in their lives. And I doubt that other people's anxiety or depression can impact another person in that type of way. I do believe that with some people, personal flaws can also impact how they developed an irrational fear of socializing. There's no one answer. There are many reasons we have this disorder just as there are those who deeply impacted by it.
 

Odo

Banned
I don't think I'm overly empathetic, because I'm not sure that my sense of other's reactions is even accurate. It's more like a kind of ongoing paranoid delusion that I'm conscious of but can't shake.

But I definitely don't think I lack empathy altogether.
 
Despite my SA, I have a lot of empathy and I help many people without asking for
anything back.
Imho, it's hard to say that most people who suffer from SA lack empathy.

I was looking around the web and it looks like SA is tied to having too much empathy. :idontknow:
^ I agree with these. Having an excess of empathy is usually what is associated with SA. This is certainly the case with me.
As hoddesdon mentioned, what you described does fit in with the description of narcissism.
 
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