REALLY not doing good right now

Meow

Well-known member
Yeah so i'm having one of those spaz attacks when you flip out, know what I mean? I'm home alone I just wanna go to the store and get lots of alcohol and cigarettes even tho i gave both of them up 2 years ago... I feel like cutting myself again and I just took 2 xanax. I wanna scream and cry and smash things and bang my head on the fuckin floor to make it all go away.

Someone important to me who needs to make a lot up to me said they'd call right back and never did, it's been like 5 hours... so I'm a peice of shit to them, and they're the ones that need to be making it up to me. I wish I could just say... "It aint nothing, forget it" but I can't.

It's not just that it's everything im sick of the appointments im sick of all these drugs and ones not working and im sick of going to therapy, I have a new therapist and I just don't wanna go anymore..

My man aint home till like 1am or 2am

I can't take this tonight I can't take it this phone call thing is just the icing on the cake

I want to jump in a very big dark hole and never come out.

Did I mention I fuckin HATE MYSELF i'm incapable of getting better, I'm stupid and useless I'm just sucking up air and eating food someone starving could eat, i'm pointless. I'm ugly i'm disgusting and I bet everyone thinks so deep down I HATE EVERYTHING TODAY AND I HATE ME
 

Chilling__Echo

Well-known member
hey sweetie, take a deep breath!!

if you're gonna be mad, or upset, by all means do it. you can't help that. you can't help the way you feel!! i'm sorry the person forgot about you but remember that anything could have happened, don't assume the worst.

please don't drink or cut yourself, or any of those things you quit so long ago, you are better than all that. take a breather, take a walk, do something to calm yourself down. things may seem like shit now but they won't stay that way!! nothing can stay shitty forever.
 

Mary

Well-known member
Hi meow, I am sorry you are having it so rough right now. I can relate to you and I know others on here can too. I wish I could tell you exactly what you need to hear to make everything allright but all I can say is that this too shall pass. Hang on! I know it might feel like things won't ever get better right now but they will. I don't know when but they will. And dont let people who don't value you bring you down, it is their loss not yours. You are a very beautiful girl who has a good guy there to help you, he might not be home right now but he is coming home later. You also have us on here, we are all kind of in this thing together, corny as it sounds you are not alone! Big HUGG!
 

young

Well-known member
*hugs meow, gives a shoulder to cry on. no not the left one, the other one. *

*walks away!*


my work is done...

*avaunts*
 

Meow

Well-known member
Higolo said:
I'm feeling sooo anxious! My head hurts, i can't go out..

You started it, i want sympathy too.

that was real nice, I didn't want sympathy... I needed SUPPORT. which is what this forum is here for... I really wasn't doing good.
 

Meow

Well-known member
Chilling__Echo said:
hey sweetie, take a deep breath!!

if you're gonna be mad, or upset, by all means do it. you can't help that. you can't help the way you feel!! i'm sorry the person forgot about you but remember that anything could have happened, don't assume the worst.

please don't drink or cut yourself, or any of those things you quit so long ago, you are better than all that. take a breather, take a walk, do something to calm yourself down. things may seem like shit now but they won't stay that way!! nothing can stay shitty forever.

Sorry this reply is late, I didn't feel like I could type anything half decent last night but you did really help me last night.... it's funny how I can just spaz out over one thing and then it feels like a million things start running thru my mind. I didn't do anything stupid, I did take a walk and breaaathed... God it was just horrible, you know when your mind feels so out of control?
Well thankyou for being soooooo lovely you really did help me knowing that I wasn't alone :D
 

Meow

Well-known member
Mary said:
Hi meow, I am sorry you are having it so rough right now. I can relate to you and I know others on here can too. I wish I could tell you exactly what you need to hear to make everything allright but all I can say is that this too shall pass. Hang on! I know it might feel like things won't ever get better right now but they will. I don't know when but they will. And dont let people who don't value you bring you down, it is their loss not yours. You are a very beautiful girl who has a good guy there to help you, he might not be home right now but he is coming home later. You also have us on here, we are all kind of in this thing together, corny as it sounds you are not alone! Big HUGG!

You're always soooo lovely!!! Thank you also for the reply, it was so nice to read some kind words. You're right it did pass, it just feels like your head is going to be in this crazy whirlwind place forever. You're right... corny but true i'm not alone and I realized that last night. Just getting a couple of thoughtful replies really helped. When you feel out of control and no ones around it feels like the lonliest scariest worst feeling, you know? And thank you for the compliments once again you really are a special person :mrgreen:
I think i'm feeling better today... I just forced myself out of bed so we'll see lol.
Thanks again.
 
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